Piano Tuner, Untune me that Tune. by Ogden Nash
Piano Tuner, Untune me that Tune
by Ogden Nash.
I regret that before people can be reformed they have to be sinners.
And that before you have pianists in the family you have to have beginners.
When it comes to beginners' music I am not enthusic,
And when listening to something called "An Evening in my Doll House" or "The Bee and the Clover"
Why I'd like just once to hear it played all the way through
instead of that hard part near the end over and over.
Have you noticed about little fingers?
When they hit a sour note, they lingers.
And another thing about little fingers,
they are always strawberry-jammed or cranberry-jellied-y,
And 'Chopsticks' is their favourite melody,
And if there is one man who I hope his dentist was a sadist
and all his teeth were brittle ones,
It is he who invented 'Chopsticks' for the little ones.
My good wishes are less than frugal
For him who started the little ones going boogie-woogal,
But for him who started the little ones picking out 'Chopsticks'
on the ivories
Well I wish him a thousand harems of a thousand wives apiece,
and a thousand little ones by each wife, and
each little one playing 'Chopsticks' twentyfour hours a day
in all the nurseries of all his harems, or wiveries.
Oh dear, oh dear, this reminds me of when my sister and I used to play duets on the piano, we would accompany them with a chorus of "Miaow, miaow," much to the annoyance of our parents!