I've picked up from the gale warning thread that flying trampolines have now joined liberated Christmas trees as a hazard on the streets of Wick.

Last summer when I cycled through the Western Isles couldn't help noticing that every second crofter from Barra to Stornoway had one of these set up in their back garden. Remarkably there was never one actually in use, not even a sheep having a fly bounce or a Hebridean grannie waulking tweed on one. As the days went by I became gradually consumed by a desire to jump a fence and have a few sly bounces or perhaps execute a few steps of an improvised Highland fling. Thankfully I'm made of sterner stuff and limited any exuberance to an ocaisional wheelie in front of indifferent sheep.

So trampolines have spread into Caithness. I mean what is this about, shaking your insides and vital organs into unnatural and shocking positions while trying to defy gravity.

Have you all been indoctrinated by the famous mantra from the Natural Law Party about yogic flying? What effect is this having upon the population? Is there a trampoline injury specialist in the hospital, can you be breathalised when in charge of one, is it an chargeable offence to wear a skirt in a high wind, and of course are they always locked up on Sundays.

I am still trying to battle an irresistable draw to actually try one out. Can anyone explain this trampoline phenomena.