God Bless America
From Peter Salter to Fox News
As a Canadian, I find your lame duck apology for your despicable
comments on Canada 's military to be totally inadequate. Perhaps you
and your ignorant, redneck audience would find the following to be just
as humourous should you care to share it with them, which I don't
imagine you will.
Your comments and those of your "commentators" were not only an insult
to the men and women of the Canadian armed forces but also demonstrate
once again the appalling arrogance and ignorance of Americans such as
yourself. Let's take a quick look at American military prowess as seen
from a non-American standpoint.
Invade Canada because they have no army? You tried that back in 1812 and
got your American butts kicked. The only significant battle that US
forces won in that war was the Battle of New Orleans which was actually
fought several weeks after a peace treaty had been signed in Europe .
And even in this battle, your Old Hickory (was that a reference to his
head) depended on the support of a French pirate and his men who
betrayed the British. How's that for an amusing play on Andy's
nickname?
Actually, when it comes to winning wars on your own, the only one you
can lay claim to is your Civil War, which Americans of one side or the
other pretty well had to win, didn't they? In the Revolutionary War you
had the French to help you. In the Spanish American War, you had the
local indigenous populations to help you. Are you finding this amusing?
You largely took a pass on World War One until it was three quarters
over and then sent only a token force most of whom saw no action before
the spring of 1918. Canada, by contrast put 10% of its entire
population in uniform and these men were invariably given the most
difficult objectives which they always achieved, unfortunately with the
loss of a full 10% of its force - that's killed, not just wounded. And who were your great heroes? Eddie Rickenbacher who managed to shoot
down a total of 26 enemy aircraft in about the same amount of time that
the Canadian ace, Billy Bishop, shot down 72. Where did your guys learn
to fly?
Then there was that hillbilly hick from Bear Creek Hollow,
Tennessee named Alvin York. What the hell kind of name is that for a
soldier? Alvin 's a bloody chipmunk's name! Am I being funny yet?
Of course in World War Two you Americans jumped in when it had only been
going on for two years and a quarter years, but you made up for it by
taking all the credit. Again, it was mainly the Canadian forces who
took the brunt and who were given the toughest assignments in areas like
the Italian campaign and at Normandy . Why do we never hear anything
from Hollywood about what the Canadians achieved at Juno Beach ,
generally regarded by most historians, other than Americans, as a
tougher objective than Utah or even Omaha Beaches ?
Why don't you American know that the Canadian Division was held back from entering
Rome on June 6, 1944 so that Georgie Patton's ego could be satisfied,
his ego and propensity for slapping Privates being his two most
outstanding leadership qualities. Are you bozos laughing now? "But we
Americans won the War in the Pacific," I hear you saying. Yes, after
the Australians and Chindits showed you how to defeat the Japanese at
jungle warfare.
Unfortunately, those lessons in jungle warfare seemed to have been
forgotten by the time you got to Vietnam where about the only things American troops did were drugs and young Vietnamese women. Isn't this just hilarious?
And now you're going to send an additional 17,000 troops to Afghanistan
where, given your extremely limited success in Iraq (another war you
don't seem to be capable of winning), it's just possible that the
Canadian and other lesser UN forces there may feel they would be better
off without. You Americans are just a laugh a minute! No wonder the
rest of the world loves you so much!
As I suggested at the outset, I doubt if this will be shared with your
audience (which, by the way, doesn't and never will include me), but if
you do, I'm sure you will all take it in the humorous vein in which it
is intended. Excuse me now while I extract my tongue from my cheek.
Peter Salter
A justifiably proud Canadian
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