What makes a good parent?

**BRIE** · 27-May-08, 13:54

Following on from the 'Bonkers goverment' thread whats everyones idea of a good or bad parent?
Personally I think of myself as a good parent, my children have grown into responsible & respectful teenagers theyve never cause me problems(except for the normal teenage tantrums!) & have done well educationally.
I believe this is down to how theyve been brought up.I had children & changed my lifestyle accordingly to allow my childrens needs to always come first.
so how do you rate your parenting skills?

**sam** · 27-May-08, 13:59

Not being funny lol, but i doubt that anyone will come on and say that they think they are a bad parent.

I believe a good parent is someone who shows their child love and teaches them the values of life and what is important and that also listens to what the child has to say, I would like to think that i am a good parent but i am not perfect and know there is room for improvement, parents have to learn to be a parent just as much as the children have to learn from us

**Thorfin** · 27-May-08, 14:15

We all probably think we are good parents and do a good job, but its when you go down the street and you get a buch together thats when the trouble starts, it could be just a dare and then it will go a bit to far and before long they are a disgrace. There is a bunch that sits on the wall outside the bank of Scotland and you see one sticking the finger up at a car and that leads to the 2nd and the 3rd. Today now I passed in a car and a young girl about 15 or 16 stood up and lifted her skirt up and made a very sugestive sign between her legs to a bunch of boys in a car in front of us. Now the parents of that girl didnt teach her that did they.

**BRIE** · 27-May-08, 14:24

[quote=sam;388606]Not being funny lol, but i doubt that anyone will come on and say that they think they are a bad parent.

Did realise that after id posted

but people might like to add what they think makes a bad parent.

Im sure we all know that no-one is a perfect parent,Im definately not perfect ,all parents make mistakes & learn by them.
Im guilty of being an over protective parent I like to know where my children are at all times & hate them being out of earshot for any length of time!

**BRIE** · 27-May-08, 14:28

Originally Posted by Thorfin

We all probably think we are good parents and do a good job, but its when you go down the street and you get a buch together thats when the trouble starts, it could be just a dare and then it will go a bit to far and before long they are a disgrace. There is a bunch that sits on the wall outside the bank of Scotland and you see one sticking the finger up at a car and that leads to the 2nd and the 3rd. Today now I passed in a car and a young girl about 15 or 16 stood up and lifted her skirt up and made a very sugestive sign between her legs to a bunch of boys in a car in front of us. Now the parents of that girl didnt teach her that did they.

I hope her parents didnt teach her that!! but obviously her parent didnt teach her very much about self respect or how to behave in public either

.

**unicorn** · 27-May-08, 14:33

[quote=BRIE;388612 Im guilty of being an over protective parent I like to know where my children are at all times & hate them being out of earshot for any length of time![/quote]
That is absolutely no failing in this day and age. It is sheer common sense and I wish everyone had it. I see tiny tots out wandering about and it makes my blood run cold. I honestly cannot understand how people can let children under 7 out of their sight.
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world and everyone has different views, I think being able to give your child your unconditional love and letting them know that you will always be there for them, but also teaching them to be respectful of others at the same time is a huge part of being a good parent. You need to also not be blinded as we are all guilty of at times. nobody's child is perfect and person is perfect. I have often said I would prefer if my child is getting up to no good that someone let me know for example I don't suppose the lassie down the street flashing to drivers is gonna get in trouble cos her parents will never know.
I was no angel as a teenager but I always got caught cos someone always told

**Tilter** · 27-May-08, 16:00

Originally Posted by sam

Not being funny lol, but i doubt that anyone will come on and say that they think they are a bad parent.

Well, I honestly never thought I was that great, but my children have grown up really nice and I really like the people they've become. Can't say I did anything at all right, except I was definitely not over-protective, and they've always thought for themselves and stood on their own two feet, and we've always had a good laugh, as well as driving each other up the wall.

**Valerie Campbell** · 27-May-08, 16:39

What makes a good parent? A sense of humour!!

**Jill** · 27-May-08, 16:51

Hmm, we have three rules:

1. Establish boundaries and stick to them
2. Treat your children with respect and teach them to respect you
3. Always back each other up (at least in front of the kids!)

Obviously there is more to it than that but it all comes into these three categories.

So far, so good - our kids are 10, 9, 2 and 10 months - final verdict when they reach adulthood

**hotrod4** · 27-May-08, 18:32

Parenthood is over-rated.
Its only the first 16 years that are the worst

On a more serious note how our kids turn out cant always be put on your own door.
You can see parents of murderers etc who may have been fantastic parents but why did their child go wrong?
Sometimes we never know, all we poor underpaid,under appreciated parents can do is one thing-Our best.
Sprinkle a little love,mix with wisdom,stand back and watch what you have created blossom into....................? (the choice is yours!)

**Kenn** · 27-May-08, 22:01

Love,routine, encouragement,more love, laughter,more love,more encouragement ,moral values followed up with a ceaseless supply of food,clean laundry and toilet rolls!
Finally a very comfortable chair to relax in when the little darlings have retired for the night.

**Angel** · 27-May-08, 23:04

Treating you child like a person with respect and always answer with the truth however much it may be hurtful or embarressing... Be constructive in everything you say, listen, take on board what they say and discuss various options and if possible come to an agreed conclusion. Show love, and not to just your child to family and friends. But make them aware that there are those out there who don't think the same way and often want to hurt you either physically, emotionally, financially etc...
Interact with them and don't send them away with a new video game because you are not in the mood...

Angel

**Anne x** · 28-May-08, 00:43

Be there for them whenever you can and a endless supply of listening ,ranting ,home cooking most of all lots of love and a very deep wallet in most cases purse as Mums are softer I have found it pays in the end just to observe take so much then speak out

**Gleber2** · 28-May-08, 01:17

If your children grow up and you like them, you've been a good parent.

**Metalattakk** · 28-May-08, 01:35

What makes good parents?

If we consider that we learn to parent from our own parents, then the answer is obvious. Good parents make good parents.

Rocket science doesn't come into it.

**honey** · 28-May-08, 09:53

to love your child enough to let them be individuals, but also to be able to balance that out by setting boundaries that will help them grow up to be respectful, honest and happy in their own skin..

and lastly - being a good parent means you have to be able to admit your not perfect, and learn from the mistakes you are bound to make along the way.

**honey** · 28-May-08, 09:54

Originally Posted by Metalattakk

What makes good parents?

If we consider that we learn to parent from our own parents, then the answer is obvious. Good parents make good parents.

Rocket science doesn't come into it.

not always the case Metalattakk, i know many people who have had a terrible upbringing who have set put determined not to follow in their parents footsteps..

**justine** · 28-May-08, 10:02

Originally Posted by Metalattakk

What makes good parents?

If we consider that we learn to parent from our own parents, then the answer is obvious. Good parents make good parents.

Rocket science doesn't come into it.

sorry but i have to disagree with some of hat statement. My parents gave me nothing but money, missed out the love and understanding and i have never brought my kids up with the same. My parents duid nothng more than buy there way through my childhood, and i think that i have raised my kids to know that they can never have what they want when they want it.I raise my children totaly different and i am glad to say that they make me proud..Nothing to do with my parents, thats for sure..

**chaz** · 28-May-08, 10:52

Originally Posted by Anne x

Be there for them whenever you can and a endless supply of listening ,ranting ,home cooking most of all lots of love and a very deep wallet in most cases purse as Mums are softer I have found it pays in the end just to observe take so much then speak out

Agree with you anne, with the addition of being able to let them make thier own mistakes at times and always being there for them.Im proud of all my kids and each one is so different .

**Metalattakk** · 28-May-08, 14:21

Originally Posted by honey

not always the case Metalattakk, i know many people who have had a terrible upbringing who have set put determined not to follow in their parents footsteps..

Add a wee caveat to my statement then: - "Some bad parents can make good parents too."

Originally Posted by justine

sorry but i have to disagree with some of hat statement. My parents gave me nothing but money, missed out the love and understanding and i have never brought my kids up with the same. My parents duid nothng more than buy there way through my childhood, and i think that i have raised my kids to know that they can never have what they want when they want it.I raise my children totaly different and i am glad to say that they make me proud..Nothing to do with my parents, thats for sure..

Justine, seems that it has everything to do with your parents. See my added caveat above.