Samaritans..Help or Hindrance..

**justine** · 23-Feb-08, 17:39

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/200...e-45dbed5.html

Do you feel that this kind of action helps or hinders...
My personal opinion is they dont make things better, but then i am not well up on the subject..

**golach** · 23-Feb-08, 17:42

Originally Posted by justine

Do you feel that this kind of action helps or hinders...
My personal opinion is they dont make things better, but then i am not well up on the subject..

My opinion is that if the Samaritans save one teenager from killing themselves, then it is worth it.

**percy toboggan** · 23-Feb-08, 17:44

Originally Posted by justine

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20080223/tuk-samaritans-take-to-streets-of-bridge-45dbed5.html

Do you feel that this kind of action helps or hinders...
My personal opinion is they dont make things better, but then i am not well up on the subject..

I'm wondering how it may 'hinder'
If any more youngsters are contemplating suicide I don't think speaking to a samaritan would push them over the edge.

**danc1ngwitch** · 23-Feb-08, 17:47

when real issues occur, family sometimes ain't there, they listen and never call you a liar. They dana judge you either.

**ett23** · 23-Feb-08, 17:50

Originally Posted by percy toboggan

I'm wondering how it may 'hinder'
If any more youngsters are contemplating suicide I don't think speaking to a samaritan would push them over the edge.

Have to agree with you there! I could just imagine their reasoning: "Oh no, somebody cares about me.....I'm definitely going to kill myself now!!!"

**trix** · 23-Feb-08, 18:06

i think 'e samaritans are brilliant, they're one o' ma favourite charities.

ma friend is a samaritan in glesgow, he works every seturday for nothin an a couple o' evenings a week, he gets lots o training on how til speak til people aboot their problems, what a lovely voice he hes....

also fail til see how they could be a hindrance

**KCI** · 23-Feb-08, 18:15

At some point, everyone needs to talk about their problems. Not everyone has family or friends who will listen to them, but the Samaritans are there for everyone.

I think they do a brilliant job, and it's great that they still have the volunteers to help out.

I don't see how they could ever be a hindrance. They spend their time helping people and saving lives. Good on them.

**Highland Laddie** · 23-Feb-08, 18:45

I think you'll find there are lots of people that are probably alive today, thanks to the Samaritans.

As someone else said, if they even save one life, then yes, they are definitely a help and NOT a hindrance.

**Alice in Blunderland** · 23-Feb-08, 20:13

If by taking to the streets and talking to the young people they manage to save even one life or make the kids think again then its worth it.

The samaritans are there 24/7 just to talk to and there are many people who are out there who have relied on that fact and are possibly here today because of it.

A friendly voice to help some people talk through their problems and fears or even just to listen can be a vital lifeline to those most desperate when they are at their lowest.

One of the charities I personally dont mind giving money to.

karia · 23-Feb-08, 21:47

I reckon that Justine meant (and she will correct me if I am wrong) that any more attention to the suicide issue in Wales might keep it uppermost in people's minds and since no one has a clue what is happening there but that publicity does seem to feed it...there might be a danger of things escalating the more prominent the issue is.

**justine** · 23-Feb-08, 22:08

I will tell you a little story that sums up my feelings..A friend of my husband phoned them one night ,desperate and feeling very suicidal..They talked for ages, about all they felt regarding kids and all.You know what advice they were given,

STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GET ON WITH IT.....Now you imagine what that would be like for a lonely depressed teenager.phoning a group that profess to being there if you need them and to get a response like that....I find that kind of attitude against all they stand for..Now i am not saying that this will be the case in Bridgend but the samaritans have obviously been in bridgend before all the suicides. Now can you tell me these teens wanted to use the service, not in my opinion....

I dont doubt that their message is clear and but it has not worked so far. Having someone to talk to when you are feeling depressed is a good thing, as i well know, but i IMHO dont think the samaritans are then end of the line for many....I would not speak to them after that,knowing that some jerk on the phone could have that attitude.....

In a sense Karia you have what i meant, but it is down to the fact that they have gone into Bridgend only after so many suicides, what about after the first one, Where were they then....

**percy toboggan** · 23-Feb-08, 22:08

The spate of suicides in and around Bridgend may well be outwith the Samaritans terms of reference. I'm tempted to open a thread exploring the possible causes...and the wider phenomenon of sites like facebook and myspace, perhaps developing theories as to why some of the comments about the dead seem so strange.
"Hope you're having a good time up there" was just one I read of....and it's typical I'm told of the 'memorial pages' which appear very quickly, almost a kind of fashion, and a way of kids finding some kind of fame?....a commodity many are apparently seeking.I wonder if the concept of a 'virtual death' has emerged within the psyche of a vulnerable group of teenagers.

I'm also puzzled by quotes from the parents of dead youngsters friends, who are quoted as saying say things like 'he's really upset and has been texting 'the victim' to say goodbye.

For some, it seems the internet has become a kind of parallel universe. I spend a fair bit of time here and online generallly but feel equipped with the emotional and intellectual resources to keep it 'in its place'.I have the nouse of forty five years spent without the net to be able to appreciate it for what it is, an addendum to life, a valuable accessory yet shallow, even at the deep end. No subsitute for real world relationships.I'm sure there was a thread here recently discussing the 'net' but it seemed to disappear. The internet must figure very prominently in the lives of young, heavy users, I just wonder if it is distorting their view of the ultimate reality.

Suicide is a majorly heavy subject, with personal and deep grief involved so any such thread could cause upset, which I do not want to do. However, I've not seen any comments about the Bridgend deaths from detached outsiders, apart from the plethora of 'experts' whose conclusions seem no more valuable than layman's conjecture.

**justine** · 23-Feb-08, 22:25

Originally Posted by percy toboggan

The spate of suicides in and around Bridgend may well be outwith the Samaritans terms of reference. I'm tempted to open a thread exploring the possible causes...and the wider phenomenon of sites like facebook and myspace, perhaps developing theories as to why some of the comments about the dead seem so strange.
"Hope you're having a good time up there" was just one I read of....and it's typical I'm told of the 'memorial pages' which appear very quickly, almost a kind of fashion, and a way of kids finding some kind of fame?....a commodity many are apparently seeking.I wonder if the concept of a 'virtual death' has emerged within the psyche of a vulnerable group of teenagers.

I'm also puzzled by quotes from the parents of dead youngsters friends, who are quoted as saying say things like 'he's really upset and has been texting 'the victim' to say goodbye.

For some, it seems the internet has become a kind of parallel universe. I spend a fair bit of time here and online generallly but feel equipped with the emotional and intellectual resources to keep it 'in its place'.I have the nouse of forty five years spent without the net to be able to appreciate it for what it is, an addendum to life, a valuable accessory yet shallow, even at the deep end. No subsitute for real world relationships.I'm sure there was a thread here recently discussing the 'net' but it seemed to disappear. The internet must figure very prominently in the lives of young, heavy users, I just wonder if it is distorting their view of the ultimate reality.

Suicide is a majorly heavy subject, with personal and deep grief involved so any such thread could cause upset, which I do not want to do. However, I've not seen any comments about the Bridgend deaths from detached outsiders, apart from the plethora of 'experts' whose conclusions seem no more valuable than layman's conjecture.

This is it percy, things like this have to be figured out..Why are they killing themselves...What reasons are there for somany people in one are to do this..But i dont think the samaritans are of much help in this situation at all...

maybe starting a thread on suicides might make people more aware..

I know many moons ago i tried to end my days only to be helped through it...

I have had 2 uncles, 1 cousin and quite a few mates that have commited the ultimate sin in the eyes of our lord so to speak..I know the effects of it from both sides.....

Imagine what the families must feel..A friend of a friend, should i say, his father commited suicide, by hanging himself from his favourite tree...1 yr on his oldest son was found hanging from the same tree, by his younger son...Then 2 months after that he commited suicide in the same tree. I understand the pain and heart felt distruction it can bring so if i have a problem with the samaritans, i hope all reading this will understand why i started this thread..........

**ett23** · 23-Feb-08, 22:38

[quote=justine;345136]I will tell you a little story that sums up my feelings..A friend of my husband phoned them one night ,desperate and feeling very suicidal..They talked for ages, about all they felt regarding kids and all.You know what advice they were given,

STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GET ON WITH IT.....Now you imagine what that would be like for a lonely depressed teenager.phoning a group that profess to being there if you need them and to get a response like that....I find that kind of attitude against all they stand for..Now i am not saying that this will be the case in Bridgend but the samaritans have obviously been in bridgend before all the suicides. Now can you tell me these teens wanted to use the service, not in my opinion....

I dont doubt that their message is clear and but it has not worked so far. Having someone to talk to when you are feeling depressed is a good thing, as i well know, but i IMHO dont think the samaritans are then end of the line for many....I would not speak to them after that,knowing that some jerk on the phone could have that attitude.../quote]

Seems unfair to tar the whole organization with the same brush. Surely that was just a one-off, and as so many people on here seem to agree with me - most volunteers in The Samaritans genuinely want to help people. Why criticize people who are doing their best to help individuals when they are at their lowest and most vulnerable and most in need of support. At least they're trying to do something worthwhile instead of sitting back waiting for the next teen suicide to happen!

**justine** · 23-Feb-08, 22:44

[quote=ett23;345156]

Originally Posted by justine

I will tell you a little story that sums up my feelings..A friend of my husband phoned them one night ,desperate and feeling very suicidal..They talked for ages, about all they felt regarding kids and all.You know what advice they were given,

STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GET ON WITH IT.....Now you imagine what that would be like for a lonely depressed teenager.phoning a group that profess to being there if you need them and to get a response like that....I find that kind of attitude against all they stand for..Now i am not saying that this will be the case in Bridgend but the samaritans have obviously been in bridgend before all the suicides. Now can you tell me these teens wanted to use the service, not in my opinion....

I dont doubt that their message is clear and but it has not worked so far. Having someone to talk to when you are feeling depressed is a good thing, as i well know, but i IMHO dont think the samaritans are then end of the line for many....I would not speak to them after that,knowing that some jerk on the phone could have that attitude.../quote]

Seems unfair to tar the whole organization with the same brush. Surely that was just a one-off, and as so many people on here seem to agree with me - most volunteers in The Samaritans genuinely want to help people. Why criticize people who are doing their best to help individuals when they are at their lowest and most vulnerable and most in need of support. At least they're trying to do something worthwhile instead of sitting back waiting for the next teen suicide to happen!

But it has taken how many deaths now for them to take action....Now talk to me about being there to help....how many could have been stopped. The samaitans have become a joke, nation wide because of there own attitudes....They blast you with allsorts of nonsense and then come running when it suits them....

I m sorry if this offends anyone but i have had my fair share of them and i think they could have been there from the begining when bridgend relalised something was gong on.....How many have died to date 18 i believe, (correct me if i am wrong)..The numbers speak for them selves.The samaritans are now hoping to have a session once a month starting from April, what good is that now. please tell me....How many more will die between feb-mar and april.............

**KCI** · 24-Feb-08, 00:06

Suicide is a very difficult and emotional topic, isn't it?

Sometimes, people are overwhelmed with the problems in their lives, and they just can't see any way out. If they have decided that suicide is the only way for them, they may not even give the Samaritans, or anyone else a chance to help them. Anyone who commits, or tries to commit suicide must be desperate, and feel that it is the only way out for them.

I still feel that the Samaritans do their best, and try to be there for people who need them. But if people don't contact them for help, there isn't much they can do.

Although, I can see Justine's point, about them not starting sessions until April. Hopefully this will be reviewed.

**justine** · 24-Feb-08, 01:58

Yes it is, and it also a heart wrenching one...But my point of this thread was to state that they were not there at first..The tenns and most people know about them, but they chose not to use them, why, well we will never know...
But my question goes unanswered, Why do they feel the need to rush in now after 18 deaths and not after the first,
Reason:::IMHO
Sounds as if they are promoting there group after the 18 deaths have become public....No one from the organization was on board before these tragedies...trying to make people aware of what they do, far too late...
It a pity we had no-one from the area to tell us how it is working..I am not knocking the group for there world wide fame, but in this instence i think that it is too late to do any sort of condolences and "we are here to help you, all you need to do is call. I can imagine the families thinking much the same, but then i am somewhat against them ,but i do know that they have helped many many people, but not in bridgend....................................