Teacher: "Good morning children, today is Thursday, so we're going to
have a history quiz.. The pupil who gets the answer right can have
Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."
Wee Murray thinks, "Ya beauty! I'm pure dead brilliant at history so I
This is gonny be a doddle!
Teacher: " Right class, who can tell me who said. ' Don't ask what our
country can do for you, but what you can do for your country? '
Wee Murray shoots up his hand, waving furiously in the air. Teacher
looking round picks Farqhuar-Fauntlerioy at the front. 'Yes, Farqhuar? '
Farqhuar (in a very English accent): " Yes miss, the answer is J F
- inauguration speech 1960.."
Teacher: "Very good Jeremy. You may stay off Friday and Monday and we
will see you back in class on Tuesday."
The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Murray is even more determined.
Teacher: "Who said. "We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight
them in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never
Wee Murray's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board, shouting "I know.
know. Me Miss, me Miss"
Teacher looking round and picks Tarquin-Smythe, sitting at the
front: "Yes
Tarquin (In a very, very posh, English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is
Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of Britain speech."
Teacher: "Very good Tarquin, you may stay off Friday and Monday and come
back to class on Tuesday."
The following Thursday comes around and Wee Murray is hyper, he's been
studying encyclopedias all week and he's ready for anything that comes.
He's coiled in his wee chair, dribbling in anticipation.
Teacher: "Who said 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?"
Wee Murray's arm shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat,
jumping up and down screaming "Me miss. Me miss. I know, I know. Me
miss, Me miss, Meeeeee "
Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert, sitting at the front"
Rupert (In a frightfully, frightfully, ever so plummy English
"Yes miss that was Neil Armstrong, 1967, the first moon landing."
Teacher: "Very good Rupert. You may stay off Friday and Monday and come
back into class on Tuesday."
Wee Murray loses the plot altogether, tips his desk and throws his wee
chair at the wall. He starts screaming "WHERE THE HELL DID ALL THESE
Teacher spins back round from the blackboard and shouts: "Who said
Wee Murray grabs his coat and bag and heads for the door, "Bonnie Prince
Charlie, Culloden, 1746. See ye on Tuesday Miss."

Sorry folk,s but as you can imagine i had to do a bit of editing on this one, but you,ll figure it out.