Lawyers & Grandma's

[Lolabelle]

Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern US small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you
were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything other than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?" She
again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defence
attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very
quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair."

[Billy Boy]

In the dim and distant past
When life's tempo wasn't so fast,
Grandma used to rock and knit,
Crochet, tat and baby sit.

When the kids were in a jam,
They could always call on Gram.
But today she's in the gym
Exercising to keep slim.

She's checking the web or surfing the net,
Sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her,
Now that Grandma's off her rocker.

[johno]

Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern US small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you
were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything other than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?" She
again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defence
attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and in a very
quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair."

thats pretty cool