How many does it take?

[Kingetter]

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One to hold the light bulb, and 99 to turn the house

Q: How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but the light bulb has got to WANT to change.

Q: How many First year Arts Students does it take to change a light
bulb?

A: They can't; it's a second year subject.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to declare that the bulb has violated the socket, one to
secretly wish she *was* the socket, one to secretly wish she was the
*bulb*, one to do it ALL BY HERSELF, and one to say "that's not
funny!"

Q: How many fish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two, but don't ask how they get in there.

Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

A. One. She just stands there, holding the bulb, and the whole world
revolves around her...

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None. That's a hardware problem.

Q. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Two. One to change the bulb, and one to attach the live wires to
the nearest man's dangly bits.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five, one to change the bulb and four to make the documentary.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly coloured power tools.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Twenty! (Well actually one, the other nineteen just stand around
saying, "Yeah, I can do that")

Q: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Four, one to hold the bulb and three to drink enough to make the
room spin.

Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to
the experience.

Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write
the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb
administrator to make sure that nobody else tries to change the bulb
at the same time. --

Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light
bulb?

A: Both of them.

Q: How many "Real Men" does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. "Real Men" aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many "Real Women" does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. A "Real Woman" would have plenty of real men around to do it.

Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There never *was* any light bulb.

Q: How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 45: One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it
a suprising twist at the end.

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb
itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality
in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of
nothingness.

Q: How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Who says it's dark?

Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

Q: How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do
it.

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a dead light bulb?

A: None. They wait for three days and it comes back on by itself!

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.


But, how many jockeys does it take to ride a horse?

[dpw39]

Kingetter, you are either on a death wish , playing devils advocate , or just here to make the boards interesting. Gone are the days when the Irish where classed as educationally challenged, and I won't even bother to get farther down the list as I would probably dig myself a big hole, and seeing that B.B.S. here in Thurso has gone bust, and I'd have to wait for the snow-plough to dig me out

Behave yourself.

Ciao,

[sapphire]

Just come home after a busy day at work and I'm now rotflmao...Thanks for that, keep them coming!!
How come is it that I just can't tell jokes?