Grandparents- the unsung heroes

[bagpuss]

How many of the orgers are grandparents? And how many grandparents spend lots of time minding the children during the holidays?

Grannies aka Nannas and Grandads are often very important in children's lives. I never knew my grandfather who died when I was only 2, and my other grandfather was crippled so badly he had little time for three lively little girls- but my grandmothers played a very important role in my life.

So- what was the most important gift your grandparents gave you? A sense of humour? A work ethic? Wisdom?

[Kenn]

I too never knew my maternal grandfather but his wife was always there, a gentle lady who taught me many things.
I adored my paternal "Gramfer," but his wife scared me half to death!
I can only hope that I can inspire my grandson who is brighter that a lighthouse and who listens and remembers what I tell him, I was explaining to him about the different words that are used here and quick as a flash he replied, "Oh so you speak a different language."
I have yet to explain to him that although I live in "God's own county," that I am of Cornish origin and that's another can of worms.

[Aaldtimer]

Mebian Kernow!

[golach]

GRAND CHILDREN, are just a bain on grandparents lives, hands out all the time, Bank of Dad is empty, lets go to Grandad, he is an easy touch!! Oh Grand kids are great when they are kids (not teenagers), once they reach the age of puberty, then look out, their demands go sky high. I have 4 granddaughters, from the ages of 21,17,16 and 10, my 10 year old is a wee darling (at the moment) as the other 3 were until they became teenagers.

And as for their parents!! Do they not think I have a social life of my own at the weekend, I do not need to have the hassle of looking after someone elses bairns, I did that when they were little, Grandparents have their own lives to live.

[annemarie482]

my kids must have usual grandparents! lol
as a babysitter for a night out once every 8 weeks is too much to ask
even then, if it is accepted, the kids have to be split to a grannies house each!

but there are many many young parents out there who seem to be out virtually every weekend every frid and sat, disappearing to festivals for days etc!
they have no idea how lucky they are to have such good parents.

[Dadie]

Lol.
My Mum and Dad look after the kids for me to go back to work, until I get childcare sorted out or the schools go back, whichever is sooner as work is going on longer than the 6 weeks first quoted .
But for nights out (and I dont ask often, only if we have a wedding dance to go to etc) its more likely for them to say no or humm and haw for a while.
And in emergencies, its no bother for the kids to be dropped round (real emergencies like funerals down south or an operation not a dentist appt or haircut).

[Doreen]

I have two lovely grandkids love them to bits but as im getting older but not that old 40 sumthing but canna keep up with them they seem to have boundlest energy but thats not a bad thing one is 6 the other is 2 em actully going through the terrible twos its lovely seeing them but is it just me but after a whole day im shattered after they have been to visit dont get me wrong its not i dont enjoy having them when they leave to go home i miss them but also i sit and go aww its so quiete must be an age thing.

[Corrie 3]

I have two lovely grandkids love them to bits but as im getting older but not that old 40 sumthing but canna keep up with them they seem to have boundlest energy but thats not a bad thing one is 6 the other is 2 em actully going through the terrible twos its lovely seeing them but is it just me but after a whole day im shattered after they have been to visit dont get me wrong its not i dont enjoy having them when they leave to go home i miss them but also i sit and go aww its so quiete must be an age thing.

Yep Doreen, its an age thing........I love seeing mine and having fun but I must admit its lovely when I go home to some lovely peace and quiet!!

C3......

[Doreen]

Aw corrie ur my soull mate lol x

[bagpuss]

Strangely enough I don't recall my grandparents ever actually having to look after me- it was always my job to care for them. As a five year old I recall being left with my grandfather - who could not move from his sick-bed, and the family dog,while my granny went off to meet her sisters in the middle of Aberdeen. I had to fetch drinks ofwater for Grandad, and draw quietly so as not to wake him up. As a teenager, I was left with a grandmother who'd had a stroke and a younger cousin, in charge of a hotel on New year's Eve.

I never got a word of praise from anyone in the family- but the fact that everyone was safe speaks for itself. these days, no doubt I'd have been labelled a victim of neglect. Not a bit of it- I took pride in the fact that I was so much more grown up than my peers

[JD6400]

I have one Granny still living and to be honest I would be lost without her! She helps me so much from helping with my kids to taking up the curtains! She is a fit as a fiddle, and I could talk to her about anything. We often have long chats on the phone putting the world to rights! My kids adore her and she said it's her Grandbairns and Great Grandbairns that keep her going.
I was very close to my other Granny and both my Grandads and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about them and feel very blessed to have had them in my life.
My parents and in-laws are also fantastic. My husband and I are very lucky to have great families who all live close. Live can throw a lot at us but when the chips are down it's your family (and very close friends) that will be there for you through thick and thin. I never take my family for granted and appreciate them very much x

[Koi]

Growing up I often felt that I did not really know my grandparents let alone have a realtionsip with them. For my son i have ensured that for him it is different and he has great realtionships with both sets of grandparents. If i really need a babysitter i can usually get one as his grandparents are always happy to have him and my sister is often the first person i ask as she's like a second mum to my son. For the most part i will get a babysitter once a week for my zumba class, its just often shared with everyone.
I don't like to ask and would never expect them to look after him for a whole day or even most of the day. Vists to see his grandparents are usually only a couple of hours long. But as a rule i try to find ways to take my son along with wherever i need to go and only ask if he can not come with me. He's my child and my responsbility. My parents and my partner's parents are always happy to help us out and are happy to have him but he is a whirlwind of energy and he tries them out. This is why I would not expect them to have him for more than a couple of hours.
I don't know how the parents with children under 10 manage to get out every weekend or even most weekends. I certainly am lucky to get out at the weekend at all. Though this is partly because i don't drink. On the rare occasions that i do go out at the weekend i can usually get a babysitter and i will be home about half 11 - 12 to let them go home.

[Bazeye]

Have to delay my grandparenting for a while as my daughter told me a few weeks ago she was a lesbian. Mind you, her girlfriend's quite tidy.

[lindsaymcc]

I didnt know one set of grandparents very well, and they died when I was about 6/7yrs old. The other set were the ones we adored! My Granny is still here but sadly lost my Grandad 2.5yrs ago. My Granny is 85yrs old and is in no way able to look after my 3 kids, and I wouldnt dare ask her to! As she is the only family we have within a 600 mile radius, leaves us to be the PARENTS! We had the kids, its our responsibility to look after them.

When my dad visits (twice a year) he will send me and hubby out for the evening, however we usually go out at 7.30pm once kids in bed, and are home by 10pm! I know full well that once the kids are old enough to be left alone, we will go out more, but for now, Im actually happy to stay home.

I think the grandparents that do regularly have their grandchildren - and Im talking once/twice a week so the parents can go out are saints but at the same time, hindering the parents.... life changes when you have children, you have to make huge sacrifices, which means you cant just dump and run whenever the fancy takes you.

[Doreen]

I didnt know one set of grandparents very well, and they died when I was about 6/7yrs old. The other set were the ones we adored! My Granny is still here but sadly lost my Grandad 2.5yrs ago. My Granny is 85yrs old and is in no way able to look after my 3 kids, and I wouldnt dare ask her to! As she is the only family we have within a 600 mile radius, leaves us to be the PARENTS! We had the kids, its our responsibility to look after them.

When my dad visits (twice a year) he will send me and hubby out for the evening, however we usually go out at 7.30pm once kids in bed, and are home by 10pm! I know full well that once the kids are old enough to be left alone, we will go out more, but for now, Im actually happy to stay home.

I think the grandparents that do regularly have their grandchildren - and Im talking once/twice a week so the parents can go out are saints but at the same time, hindering the parents.... life changes when you have children, you have to make huge sacrifices, which means you cant just dump and run whenever the fancy takes you.

Dont agree thats all about being grandparents i enjoy having mine stay over and they certainly are no burden on us they bring so much joy.

[canadagirl]

I have a 3 yr old step-grandaughter and a 'real' one due in the next couple weeks. I adore my grandaughter and have her over as much as possible. She is very lucky to have two sets of grandparents within a mile away, and a ton of other relatives, all close by. I was thinking about the coming one and how if that child wanders from the straight and narrow it will be hauled back by it's britches! I know as a kid I absolutely listened to what my grandparents had to say. That being said, I live in a small close knit community with a lot of people I went to school with and the kids don't get away with much as everyone knows them and keeps an eye out. There is a lot to be said for having several generations of families in a community!

[squidge]

I remember my nana quite well. She lived with us until she died when I was about 7. My grandma looked after us on occasions and I loved her dearly. My children have a quite different relationship with my parents. For a start althoughmy mum and dad are in their 70s they are not old in the same way as my grandparents were. No hats. No listening to the Archers. No face powder or frocks. You are more likely to see my mum dancing round the room to Neil Diamond and wearing jeans than a coat with a fur collar. They still drive to see us all the way from Northern France. Granted my dad snores in the chair after lunch but hey, he is allowed at 76. My husbands parents still work, they are younger than mine by a long way. They will happily have the wee ones overnight on occasions and help out if needed. They also stand in as proxy grandparents to the older ones, emergency contacts and the like. When I have had the babies or been I'll my parents and in laws have been wonderful. When there has been a traumatic time my parents have always been a tower of strength on several occasions flying over to support me at the drop of a hat. I have a stepgrandaughter too. She is 2 months younger than my youngest child. The two have a lovely relationship but I rather think I'm not like a grannie at all as I am still a mummy I think I struggle to find my Grannie head if you like. At 47 with a two year old daughter and granddaughter I think it's impossible to be like a grannie with one and a mummy with the other. Time will tell.