Rheghead
15-Nov-09, 01:38
I've nothing against new people moving into the area but I had to put pen to paper to object to my local planning comittee about the bloke who plans to move in over the road.
My grounds for my objections are as follows.
1. Visual Amenity
The bloke is so big and ugly that whenever I look out upon the land in front of my property that I will baulk with revulsion constantly, goodness knows how my daughter and wife will be feeling right now.
2. Birds
Given the fact that he is as ugly as sin, how the flippin heck can he knock so many birds out cold? They surely must be so dumb to get sucked in by him?
3. Noise
He farts like a trooper and it will make my life a flipping misery, I will have to move house and I got a team of noise specialists in to monitor the noise.
4. Health and safety
His health must be on an all time low, all those free indian take outs from Halkirk must be doing shite for his everincreasing waistline and my flippin' view! Not to mention the holes in the road out to west Reay, my suspensin will be knackered in a fortnight.
5. Cumulative Effects
His family will also move in this next week which makes it a lot worse.
6. Transport
More noise and intrusion into our lives will be caused by the extra road stock needed to supply our local shop in pies and other fatty products.
7. Against the Chief Medical Officers Advice
The Chief medical officer of the UK consistently says that obesity is undesirable, this alone must mean he shouldn't live across the road from me.
8. Why fat people when I could have slim?
Why do I need fat people over the road when I can have slim? There is a better alternative, we just need to open our minds to that fact.
I recommend that the fat bloke gets refused his plans to move in next week, the only saving grace about him is that he isn't planning on having a windturbine near our properties.
My grounds for my objections are as follows.
1. Visual Amenity
The bloke is so big and ugly that whenever I look out upon the land in front of my property that I will baulk with revulsion constantly, goodness knows how my daughter and wife will be feeling right now.
2. Birds
Given the fact that he is as ugly as sin, how the flippin heck can he knock so many birds out cold? They surely must be so dumb to get sucked in by him?
3. Noise
He farts like a trooper and it will make my life a flipping misery, I will have to move house and I got a team of noise specialists in to monitor the noise.
4. Health and safety
His health must be on an all time low, all those free indian take outs from Halkirk must be doing shite for his everincreasing waistline and my flippin' view! Not to mention the holes in the road out to west Reay, my suspensin will be knackered in a fortnight.
5. Cumulative Effects
His family will also move in this next week which makes it a lot worse.
6. Transport
More noise and intrusion into our lives will be caused by the extra road stock needed to supply our local shop in pies and other fatty products.
7. Against the Chief Medical Officers Advice
The Chief medical officer of the UK consistently says that obesity is undesirable, this alone must mean he shouldn't live across the road from me.
8. Why fat people when I could have slim?
Why do I need fat people over the road when I can have slim? There is a better alternative, we just need to open our minds to that fact.
I recommend that the fat bloke gets refused his plans to move in next week, the only saving grace about him is that he isn't planning on having a windturbine near our properties.