View Full Version : Do teenagers just not listen?
yeah, alright, retorical question, i already know the answer!!!
is it too much to ask that they respect and adear to my house rule of "nobody to turn up here before 10am during the school holidays"? they have been told this by me and my own 13 year old, and have been warned that they will be barked at if arriving before 10, and just not by the dog!!! yet this morning, one of the pals phoned at 8am to find out if the planned cycling excursion was still on, told no, its been cancelled, and that my boy wasnt up yet, but then proceeded to round up another pal and arrive here 20 minutes later.
8.20am........10am??? where am i going wrong?!!! do they just not listen or do they just not care? i can only asume that the moment they hit the big one three, their brains switch off!! this is the first of my 5 children to reach the dreaded teens (hes only been at it for 3 weeks!!) and already im understaning why some animal mothers eat their young!!!
porshiepoo
23-Jul-09, 09:14
yeah, alright, retorical question, i already know the answer!!!
is it too much to ask that they respect and adear to my house rule of "nobody to turn up here before 10am during the school holidays"? they have been told this by me and my own 13 year old, and have been warned that they will be barked at if arriving before 10, and just not by the dog!!! yet this morning, one of the pals phoned at 8am to find out if the planned cycling excursion was still on, told no, its been cancelled, and that my boy wasnt up yet, but then proceeded to round up another pal and arrive here 20 minutes later.
8.20am........10am??? where am i going wrong?!!! do they just not listen or do they just not care? i can only asume that the moment they hit the big one three, their brains switch off!! this is the first of my 5 children to reach the dreaded teens (hes only been at it for 3 weeks!!) and already im understaning why some animal mothers eat their young!!!
LOL.
What do you do????????????????
In my experience - go with it.
There are some rules that simply should not be broken but then there are those rules that are simply going to cause you unnecessary hassle by trying to adhere to them. lol.
Look at it another way. The fact that your son and his friends are happy to go out so early in the morning should be encouraged. Let's face it, when your 13 year old gets a little older you're going to be reminding him of going out so early in the morning when you're trying to drag his ass out of bed at midday.
My girls went through a very active stage but nowadays it's hard to get them off their laptops and play stations.
You could always tell them that if they arrive so early they will be found jobs to do! ;)
Chill. The holidays are going to be a very stressful time if you don't.
We have the same rule... but I must look pretty scary in the morning when I get woken up and are in a grumpy mood. Noone ever dares to call before 9:30 during the holidays these days....
I told all those "active" mates to ring my kids on their mobile phones. Stopped them in their tracks as they tend to get a right mouthful off their mates if they wake them up. I am certainly not going to do the job for them!
I used to send one persistent mate up to our then 16 year old's bedroom and he gave up after being thrown out twice by a very very grumpy teenager....
Unfortunately teenagers are unbearably horrid... you better get used to it ;)
Teenagers are awful. I have one coming up 18, and I have been told, by parents of older children, that she will be at least 22 before she turns nice again!
ShelleyCowie
23-Jul-09, 10:30
Im dreading the teenager stage now! :eek: my OH's eldest is only 7 so we have a while yet! But 7 can be bad enough!!! [lol]
I think part of the blame lies with poor parenting and part with a change in social attitudes. I don't think 'teenagers', (I can't recall who invented the term), as we know them now with the "know-it-all" and beligerent attitude existed before the 1950's. Children before then were raised to be seen and not heard and have respect for elders whether they were family or not. Back then teenagers were responsible young adults, these days they are pampered over-grown babies. I know many young people in their 20's who still act like teenagers because respect and responsibilty hadn't been instilled in them from a young age. I despair the way society is these days, todays teenager is tomorrows parent and grand-parent but their lack of decent social skills doesn't bode well for the future. We're all going to hell on a skateboard. :eek:
bettedaviseyes
23-Jul-09, 11:33
oh teenagers never listen more you tell them not to do something the more they will lol my sister is a 11 years younger then me at the of 17 and i was always on her case she never listed to many things i has to say so i just decided let her learn the hard way in life and she will coming running to me it worked tho ;)
OH AND WE WERE NEVER TEENAGERS OURSELVES.....[disgust]
yeah, alright, retorical question, i already know the answer!!!
is it too much to ask that they respect and adear to my house rule of "nobody to turn up here before 10am during the school holidays"? they have been told this by me and my own 13 year old, and have been warned that they will be barked at if arriving before 10, and just not by the dog!!! yet this morning, one of the pals phoned at 8am to find out if the planned cycling excursion was still on, told no, its been cancelled, and that my boy wasnt up yet, but then proceeded to round up another pal and arrive here 20 minutes later.
8.20am........10am??? where am i going wrong?!!! do they just not listen or do they just not care? i can only asume that the moment they hit the big one three, their brains switch off!! this is the first of my 5 children to reach the dreaded teens (hes only been at it for 3 weeks!!) and already im understaning why some animal mothers eat their young!!!
Although I appreciate your concern you need to look on the bright side. You have a group of teenagers who want to get out and be active and not just stay at home playing the xbox all day or hanging out on a street corner complaining that there is nothing to do. I would consider yourself blessed.
cuddlepop
23-Jul-09, 14:45
I'm sure they've just got selective hearing.:roll:
Tell them houseworks done before ten so if they call round they can help.I'm sure that'll put them off.:lol:
I'm putting mine in a gnome.
Alice in Blunderland
23-Jul-09, 18:32
Those poor teenagers they are damned if they do damned if they don't. :lol:.
They are up and out by the back of eight or lying late in thier bed I know which I would rather see them doing. :D
I waken all mine in the morning as I leave for work at half eightish. Im a cruel mum :Razz
porshiepoo
23-Jul-09, 18:53
OMG, I can't be the only mother who had an extremely easy time with their kids? No way!
They may spend more time on their laptops than we would care for and one of them smokes :(, but other than that I have to say that both of mine have bought us not one ounce of bother.
They are respectful to us and even now at 18 they ask permission to sleep over their friends houses or to go to town etc. If we say that we'd rather they didn't then they accept that without any hesitation and without any attitude.
They're both very protective of the family as a whole and expect their friends to be respectful too but the best thing has got to be how open and honest they are with us. Sometimes we do giggle and say that they tell us much more than we really want to know but we wouldn't change anything about them.
As far as we're aware they are respectful in general to the outside world too. :)
If they're wrong about something they have no problem apologising, they're polite and they would never ignore someone or something in need.
C'mon, there must be others out there????
weeboyagee
23-Jul-09, 19:24
they are damned if they do damned if they don't.
Is this your standard line for fence-sitting these days? I notice this in a few posts - c'mon, be like me - have at the blighters every now and then - be aggressive in your argument! It's fun - the org is such a boring place without the pancake throwers.
WBG :cool:
northener
23-Jul-09, 19:42
Am a bovvvaaaaaahd?
Face, hand.
Gene Hunt
23-Jul-09, 20:23
My two girls are doing my head in. One has been in constant mourning since Michael Jackson died, if I have to hear "Man in the Mirror" one more time I am going to scream. The other one is loved up with what can only be called a scrounging workshy git, he doesnt talk when he comes into the house and had the audacity to help himself to a Beer. My Beer !!, The end result is bit of "fighting the power" going on with them and because they are twins they are well co-ordinated. The comment the other week was like living with me and their mum was like being in the Army. That gave me an idea .. [evil]
I woke them up on the Saturday Morning at 0600 for a room inspection. Which they failed spectacularly. Then they mustered for "Mess Duties" where they made Breakfast for me and their mum. Then there was PT where they came out for a run with me, and I "beasted" them the last mile or so. Then they had a "Bull Night" which consisted of them them cleaning their rooms, which were then inspected by me and their mum. Once they had that done it was time for "Latrine Duties" where they each cleaned a Bathroom. Priceless look on their face when they were handed a toothbrush to clean the toilets as a joke. After that their Mum took pity on them and let them have a "Naafi Break", I was all for having them dig a slit trench each in the garden (preferably in the rain) knock up a basha and then take turns on a two hours on/two hours off rota on Guard Duty all night (again, preferably in the rain) while I sit in the kitchen eating Bacon rolls and drinking Tea as Guard Commander laughing at their discomfort.
They havent complained since about the regular routine being "like the Army"
"Father of the Year" is in the bag I feel.
Alice in Blunderland
23-Jul-09, 20:37
"Father of the Year" is in the bag I feel.
Erm I'm not sure on that one :eek: but if you think it then ok. Don't say you weren't warned. :lol:
northener
23-Jul-09, 20:45
Don't forget Night Manouvres.
Black yer face out, boot the bedroom door in at 3 in the mornin' and scream whilst throwing a large firework in to the room.
That should finish them off nicely.:Razz
Gene Hunt
23-Jul-09, 21:45
Don't forget Night Manouvres.
Black yer face out, boot the bedroom door in at 3 in the mornin' and scream whilst throwing a large firework in to the room.
That should finish them off nicely.:Razz
Excellent Idea.
I might wait until one of them goes in the shower, open the door, lob an apple through the shower curtain and yell "Grenade" loudly.
Hours of fun .. :lol:
Don't forget Night Manouvres.
Black yer face out, boot the bedroom door in at 3 in the mornin' and scream whilst throwing a large firework in to the room.
That should finish them off nicely.:Razz
Excellent Idea.
I might wait until one of them goes in the shower, open the door, lob an apple through the shower curtain and yell "Grenade" loudly.
Hours of fun .. :lol:
Lol i actually feel sorry for these two lassies now. :lol:
Having had teenage sons - now long flown the nest. I feel for you all with or without problems.
BUT remember the employers first lesson:-
"Employ a teenager while they still know it all."
Teenagers are designed to be self absorbed and self centred. Once you realise that then its much easier to deal with them. One important thing is never to be worried about embarrassing them if they dont do as they are told..... Gone to a party when you said they couldnt? Go knock on the door and get them out. Friends coming round when you said they couldnt - ask the friends to leave....now, Said they stayed with a pal and you think they are fibbing.... Knock on the door and ask the parents. They soon learn what they can and cant get away with. They will jump to doing what you say if they think you will embarrass them in front of their friends.
The MOST important thing though is to watch for the moments when there is a glimmer of the wonderful adults they will be. When they make you a cuppa and sit on the arm of the chair and chat to you like they actually enjoy your company, When they arrive with their large unwieldy friends and sit on your living room floor including you in their chat - you might have to step over some amazingly HUGE feet but its worth it. When they gang up on you and tease you and make you laugh cos you know what they are saying is true....
I think the late teenage years are the hardest of all the ages to deal with as a parent but they are only short and they lead you into a grown up relationship with your grown up children which can be a wonderful thing.
Sheesh - sickly sweet or what..... can you guess what's happening tomorrow to make me view motherhood as such a wonderful thing?;)
I think part of the blame lies with poor parenting and part with a change in social attitudes. I don't think 'teenagers', (I can't recall who invented the term), as we know them now with the "know-it-all" and beligerent attitude existed before the 1950's. Children before then were raised to be seen and not heard and have respect for elders whether they were family or not. Back then teenagers were responsible young adults, these days they are pampered over-grown babies. I know many young people in their 20's who still act like teenagers because respect and responsibilty hadn't been instilled in them from a young age. I despair the way society is these days, todays teenager is tomorrows parent and grand-parent but their lack of decent social skills doesn't bode well for the future. We're all going to hell on a skateboard. :eek:
You might be right here but one part you are totally missing:
Teenagers are totally hormone ridden and they were in the 50's the same as now. The only difference was that they didn't act it all out in front of their parents. They respectfully kept their mouth shut and never told their parents how they really felt.
I much rather have kids who tell me about their problems, talk to me openly about everything but also tell me when I get on their nerves and blatantly ignore things I say. My kids have respect but say what they think and often act in a way I don't agree with. Teaching them right from wrong and teaching them respect is what's important. Not total obedience.
porshiepoo
24-Jul-09, 10:09
My two girls are doing my head in. One has been in constant mourning since Michael Jackson died, if I have to hear "Man in the Mirror" one more time I am going to scream. The other one is loved up with what can only be called a scrounging workshy git, he doesnt talk when he comes into the house and had the audacity to help himself to a Beer. My Beer !!, The end result is bit of "fighting the power" going on with them and because they are twins they are well co-ordinated. The comment the other week was like living with me and their mum was like being in the Army. That gave me an idea .. [evil]
I woke them up on the Saturday Morning at 0600 for a room inspection. Which they failed spectacularly. Then they mustered for "Mess Duties" where they made Breakfast for me and their mum. Then there was PT where they came out for a run with me, and I "beasted" them the last mile or so. Then they had a "Bull Night" which consisted of them them cleaning their rooms, which were then inspected by me and their mum. Once they had that done it was time for "Latrine Duties" where they each cleaned a Bathroom. Priceless look on their face when they were handed a toothbrush to clean the toilets as a joke. After that their Mum took pity on them and let them have a "Naafi Break", I was all for having them dig a slit trench each in the garden (preferably in the rain) knock up a basha and then take turns on a two hours on/two hours off rota on Guard Duty all night (again, preferably in the rain) while I sit in the kitchen eating Bacon rolls and drinking Tea as Guard Commander laughing at their discomfort.
They havent complained since about the regular routine being "like the Army"
"Father of the Year" is in the bag I feel.
Thank you so much for that. lol. I haven't laughed so much in ages.
Kinda makes me wish my twins would behave in a similar fashion just so that we can have some similar fun. :lol:
cuddlepop
24-Jul-09, 10:17
Gene that was priceless,think a few of us could do with your expertise.:lol:
I think the late teenage years are the hardest of all the ages to deal with as a parent but they are only short and they lead you into a grown up relationship with your grown up children which can be a wonderful thing.
I am sorry Squidge but I disagree with your statement about the late teen years being the hardest, my teen years were wonderful, I was having the time of my life sailing around the world, meeting new people going to new places, only at home with my parents and siblings less than 3 months in any year, longest trip away from home was 10 whole months spent on the Great Lakes, the best time of my teenage years.
But we had no tv, mobile phones, computers, duvets in those days, teenagers today are too soft, and greedy and selfish.
Gene Hunt
24-Jul-09, 10:31
Kinda makes me wish my twins would behave in a similar fashion just so that we can have some similar fun. :lol:
I am beginning to wish I hadnt now, they have been having those "Children of the Corn" moments where you just know they are communicating telepathically to outfox me again. The knowing looks give it away, they have filled my walking boots with yoghurt, erased my Ipod and just put "Man in the Mirror" on it, and they have just admitted to going out to my shed and moving things around after I leave it so I would think I was going senile when things arent where I think I left them.
Thing is though I am actually quite proud of them. They might not always listen to me but they do learn from me.
My teenager doesn't seem so bad when I think about it. At 18 (or very nearly) she phones me to tell me where she is going, doesn't smoke, has nice friends, is always really nice in front of her friends as well!!, and if I am picking her up from a friends or whatever she always comes out when she says she will. That could be because I threatened to go in with a shell suit on if she didn't come out in time!! She has done well at school, going to Uni, but hey - sometimes she is horrible!
bobbyrussell09
24-Jul-09, 15:03
Im dreading the teenager stage now! :eek: my OH's eldest is only 7 so we have a while yet! But 7 can be bad enough!!! [lol]
so can 21 lol;)
porshiepoo
24-Jul-09, 15:05
I am beginning to wish I hadnt now, they have been having those "Children of the Corn" moments where you just know they are communicating telepathically to outfox me again. The knowing looks give it away, they have filled my walking boots with yoghurt, erased my Ipod and just put "Man in the Mirror" on it, and they have just admitted to going out to my shed and moving things around after I leave it so I would think I was going senile when things arent where I think I left them.
Thing is though I am actually quite proud of them. They might not always listen to me but they do learn from me.
[lol] Oops!
The 'children of the corn' analogy is hilarious!
I soooooooo get the telepathic moments - annoying isn't it? Or probably more scary in your position. :lol:
Gave me a good laugh Gene and brought back memories of one of my old friends making her son scrub the kitchen floor with his toothbrush on his hands and knees. Also memories of looking after other people's teenagers and how exhausting it was keeping one step ahead of them. I have the 'children of the corn' telepathic capabilities as well as excellent hearing, so wasn't too bad and drove 'em mad that I knew what they were up to.
I've got it all to come again with my own child. I just hope that I come under the category of 'cool' like one of my friend's parents were.
purplelady
25-Jul-09, 00:00
My son turned the dreaded 13 last sun ho the joys and he is a rite teenager stuck in his room watching tv and playing computer games only coming out for food or to see who am speaking to lol x
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