What would you say if you could?

[Vistravi]

A thought accured to me after looking at crayola's thread meeting up with the dead.
When my dad died i didn't get to say goodbye or tell him i loved him. He choose his end to go unnoticed as that was his way of trying to make it better for us. It was his choice to do that but it didn't stop some of my family like myself felling like we had missed telling him we loved him or to say goodbye. He died when i was at work at preciesly half 6. I knew that day i wouldn't be finishing my shift, don't know why but i never did that day as got a call saying to come home at 7ish.
If i could by any means nesscary i would've said goodbye to him and wished him well in the afterlife. I can't and it will always be left feeling like there was unfinished things with him. It's been 3 years and i still miss him and as i think of the future esp when i have my kids, it saddens me to think that they'll never know their grandad. he'd have been a wonderful grandad as he was a great dad. As i have some of his personailtiy in paritcular his blunt tongue and scary temper, he showed me how to use these qualitys in cutting down any one who deserved it to size. He taught me the imortance of loving my siblings no matter what fall outs we had as i can remember him telling me that friends would come and go but i'll always have my siblings. Between him and mum i've become the perceptive person i am now and due to my dad i am wary of who i show my heart to. I firmly believe that he has been watching over me since his death and has helped me overcome things and make some hard descions.
My mum told me when we were speaking again after 2 years apart that she never doubted that i'd surrive the painful grief unscathed and that i'd always been the strong one. I can see that now as i know i am a strong person and always have been. Now i am strong for so many people. i am the one that most of my friends turn to for advice on most things and who i there for my younger brothers and sister one of my bros in particularly whenever they need advice or help with anything.
Does anyone else feel that they missed saying goodbye to someone due to bad words exchanged or missed opportunitys?

[butterfly]

Lot's of people never got the chance to say goodbye.You should do what your signature says.You have to keep moving on lol!

[alex]

Seems to me, that sitting at the bedside of a dying parent there never will be the right words to say and that you are living your life in a way that reflects your love and respect far better than mumbled words through tears ever could.

I believe that is how we should respect our forbears memory when they pass on peacefully, through emulating their good qualities in ourselves and attempting to control the bad.

[unicorn]

Lot's of people never got the chance to say goodbye.You should do what your signature says.You have to keep moving on lol!
That is so much easier said than done for many, many people.
Everyone says move on it just is not that easy to stop the thoughts that hit you at unexpected times and to stop the tears at special times.

[Vistravi]

That is so much easier said than done for many, many people.
Everyone says move on it just is not that easy to stop the thoughts that hit you at unexpected times and to stop the tears at special times.

Exactly unicorn.
I have moved on with my life and i'm a diferent person from then, a few recent events have made me think about him and how i didn't speak to him at all the day he died which bothers me still.

[Aaldtimer]

Kahlil Gibran on Death:-

Then Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."
And he said:
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor.
Is the sheared not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.