They so DO bite and chase you

[porshiepoo]

For all those cynical people that rubbish any claims that Frogs can actually chase you and bite you, read on:

Hubby decided today to 'cleanse' the lake :roll:. This involves manly Uber waders, Industrial size and strength rake and Manly super strong biceps (told him I'd put that there).
Whilst potting up me veggies etc and wistfully watching said Super strong bicep man flexing his pecs I hit a brainwave.
The tons of weed he was raking out would be perfect for weed suppressant on my new veg plot and even better, would make a good cover over the intended paths so I could get a good idea of raised bed sizes.
So off I trot to the 10ft high pile with my less than industrial size, or even strong rake and a gruesome looking garden fork.
I happily start to fork the weighty - o so weighty - weed over the paths, chuffed with my progress and then I spot movement from the ever growing mountain of weed. Yes, the entire mountain moved!
Just about to fork another load, happen to glance to my right and O.....M....G, a mass exodus of what hubby calls Newts but I know to be monitor Lizzards. Scream?????? I screamed and ran, quickly followed by my rather not so brave Great Dane Huntly.
Manage to breathe and calm myself down despite the fact that they were pretending to head back to the pond but were actually in attack formation toward me.
Now I am scared rigid of anything like these monstrous dinosaur type things but even I didn't like seeing the odd one flounder or get squished in the charge so I - from a distance - pointed with Rake at all the refugees while hubby scooped them up and shoved em back.
Then I decided to be brave. Despite knowing they're massive and probably have teeth like a Velociraptor I decided to help move them. How brave am I? So I armed myself with gloves, mask and some improvised type of shield come picker upper and helped save loads of the tiny critters. Yay for me!
However, whilst engrossed in my entirely unselfish and may I say, heroic, act, a Frog bigger than a cat (I kid you not) decided to chase me. [evil]
Again I screamed, again Huntly barked and legged it and again Hubby laughed!
Monster frog dissappeared and I assumed it had hopped back to the pond so I continued with my task of raking (too scared to help the Lizzards now) and I swear to you that Frog not only followed me but it tried to attack me. Whenever I sent hubby in for the kill (alright catch!) it hid, only to poke its eyes up and look at me as soon as it knew he'd gone. Its head even turned to watch me as I moved.
Another scary moment soon followed when its friend and co accused decided to bolt for the pond. I was as far away as I could be while shouting and willing it into the pond and then I spot Huntly. Oh No! As much as I hate Frogs I could never look at Huntly the same again if he touched one so I had to keep his attention locked on me from this great ruddy distance while the Frog and suspected attempted human murderer legged it to the pond. God knows what the neighbours thought I was doing!

Just to let you know that I think you should all be aware that this breed of Frog is massive, it's humongous and its legs are ridiculously long. It's obviously some kind of Hybrid Frog crossed with ......erm........well.....I don't know, just something big!
So beware and don't say I didn't warn you, the Frogs are secretly evolving rapidly and perfecting their attack formations. I had a lucky escape, but save yourselves people, stay away from the water.


Needless to sat I am still Frog, Lizzard, Spider and any other creepy thing Phobic.

[kriklah]

oh crap, and i just filled our new pond with tadpoles:eek:

[porshiepoo]

Blimey Mate, fill it back in!
Why, why, why would anyone willingly fill their pond with Tadpoles? Why? WHY?

Fingers crossed that you don't have the same evolved species as I have residing in mine. If you do, lock your doors at night and offer a sacrifice to the Frogs as often as possible. NO, not the kids!!!! Use the cat.

All the advice I can give I'm afraid.
Good Luck, I'll pray for you.

[kriklah]

but id run out of cats before i run out of kids, and i have a lot of cats!!! and besides, its the kids fault i now have the potential for the end of life as we know it, they brought the spawn of the devilfrogs home!!! (ok so im the mug that dug the pond but thats besides the point!!!)

[porshiepoo]

Wow, that's a tricky one!!!!!!!!! Cats or kids, cats or kids, cats or kids??????
Like you say, it iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis the kids faults really!
Such a monumental decision has to be your alone though I'm afraid, but whatever you do, appease them before they invite the Monitor Lizzards or else it'll be the larger family members you'll be sacrificing. :eek: While you may relish sacrificing the In Laws, they could be harder to convince that they want to go to the pond! Could get messy! Or bothersome!!! Or Both!!!!

If the Lizzards should happen to move in do remember that although you may survive a bite, they do follow you ready to devour you once the poison has worked its magic. Just a word of caution there, we have to stick together during these times.

[kriklah]

ooohhh use the in laws, hadnt thought of that!!! dad in law alone should keep them well fed for a few hours!!;)

[northener]

Porshie, there's plenty of kids around here you can feed to your new chums. I'll capture a few and send them down.

You can't have them all though, I need a few myself to placate the Crocadillapig that lives under my shed.

[Dog-eared]

You shouldn't have bought that house with pond next to Dounreay !! :lol:

[Aaldtimer]

Porshie, when did you flit to the tropics?:confused

[porshiepoo]

Porshie, there's plenty of kids around here you can feed to your new chums. I'll capture a few and send them down.

You can't have them all though, I need a few myself to placate the Crocadillapig that lives under my shed.


Alas, it's too late for me I fear. Save yourselves.

I have to go out today and continue moving the weed. I think Hubby finds it quite amusing that the Monitor Lizzards and Giant Frogs are waiting for me. He reckons he had a narrow escape when he went past this morning and only just made it out of there alive. He assures me he is neither humouring me or being sarcastic!

[porshiepoo]

You shouldn't have bought that house with pond next to Dounreay !! :lol:

Wish we had. At least then they'd glow and their cover would be blown! ;)

[porshiepoo]

Porshie, when did you flit to the tropics?:confused

Lived here in Tropical Caithness for some time now ;)

I sense a mocking, disbelieving tone to that reply Aaldtimer? May you never have to face one of these beasts, they're mighty fearsome.

[northener]

Porshie,

It would appear they have survived:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/02/080218172307.htm

You are right to be afraid..........

[Ricco]

LOL, Porshie. :lol:

Poor wee froggies - I look forward to the spring when the can be heard singing melodiously (well, maybe not) in my pond. Lots of baby tadpoles, though not many will survive the fish.

[BRIE]

gosh I nearly fell off my seat laughing!!! :lol: porshiepoo I can picture you doing it too! good job the girls werent helping we would be hearing the screams in Inverness. lol:lol:

[porshiepoo]

Porshie,

It would appear they have survived:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/02/080218172307.htm

You are right to be afraid..........

O me god, that is soooooooooooo what they looked like. Imagine that picture if you will, only bigger. Much much bigger.
They must have high tailed it to the pond today, I only know because the water level has risen drastically.
I was brave today and moved all the pond weed but I did have my daughters Shih Tzu tied to a pole close by, just in case. [lol]

I found another pre-historic? creature in the weed today though. Hubby will play it down and tell me it's simply a large worm, but I know different.
I'm not sure what species yet but I'm thinking Anaconda!!!! OK, a baby one.

[Thumper]

Porshie you have my sympathy!I think you have maybe found my ex hubby's hiding place [lol] ;) x

[porshiepoo]

Porshie you have my sympathy!I think you have maybe found my ex hubby's hiding place [lol] ;) x

Ooooooooo, which one would he be? The Beeslebufo lookalike (Frog from hell apparently - all scientifically backed up y'know), the Monitor Lizard or the Snake?????

[Thumper]

Errm I think he would be a mix of all three [lol] but if I had to choose I would plump for the Beeslebufo frog....are you sure its not a toad ?;) x

[northener]

Don't look.....

But why would a frog need a pencil????

[Thumper]

Don't look.....

:eek: yep its definately my ex....run Porshie Run! :lol: x

[BRIE]

Errm I think he would be a mix of all three but if I had to choose I would plump for the Beeslebufo frog....are you sure its not a toad ?;) x

could of been a toad thumper, was it telling lies porshiepoo;):lol:

[kriklah]

you never know, it could be a prince under an enchantment.......go on, give it a kiss.....i dare ya!!!!!!!:lol:

[scorrie]

For all those cynical people that rubbish any claims that Frogs can actually chase you and bite you, read on:

Hubby decided today to 'cleanse' the lake :roll:. This involves manly Uber waders, Industrial size and strength rake and Manly super strong biceps (told him I'd put that there).
Whilst potting up me veggies etc and wistfully watching said Super strong bicep man flexing his pecs I hit a brainwave.
The tons of weed he was raking out would be perfect for weed suppressant on my new veg plot and even better, would make a good cover over the intended paths so I could get a good idea of raised bed sizes.
So off I trot to the 10ft high pile with my less than industrial size, or even strong rake and a gruesome looking garden fork.
I happily start to fork the weighty - o so weighty - weed over the paths, chuffed with my progress and then I spot movement from the ever growing mountain of weed. Yes, the entire mountain moved!
Just about to fork another load, happen to glance to my right and O.....M....G, a mass exodus of what hubby calls Newts but I know to be monitor Lizzards. Scream?????? I screamed and ran, quickly followed by my rather not so brave Great Dane Huntly.
Manage to breathe and calm myself down despite the fact that they were pretending to head back to the pond but were actually in attack formation toward me.
Now I am scared rigid of anything like these monstrous dinosaur type things but even I didn't like seeing the odd one flounder or get squished in the charge so I - from a distance - pointed with Rake at all the refugees while hubby scooped them up and shoved em back.
Then I decided to be brave. Despite knowing they're massive and probably have teeth like a Velociraptor I decided to help move them. How brave am I? So I armed myself with gloves, mask and some improvised type of shield come picker upper and helped save loads of the tiny critters. Yay for me!
However, whilst engrossed in my entirely unselfish and may I say, heroic, act, a Frog bigger than a cat (I kid you not) decided to chase me. [evil]
Again I screamed, again Huntly barked and legged it and again Hubby laughed!
Monster frog dissappeared and I assumed it had hopped back to the pond so I continued with my task of raking (too scared to help the Lizzards now) and I swear to you that Frog not only followed me but it tried to attack me. Whenever I sent hubby in for the kill (alright catch!) it hid, only to poke its eyes up and look at me as soon as it knew he'd gone. Its head even turned to watch me as I moved.
Another scary moment soon followed when its friend and co accused decided to bolt for the pond. I was as far away as I could be while shouting and willing it into the pond and then I spot Huntly. Oh No! As much as I hate Frogs I could never look at Huntly the same again if he touched one so I had to keep his attention locked on me from this great ruddy distance while the Frog and suspected attempted human murderer legged it to the pond. God knows what the neighbours thought I was doing!

Just to let you know that I think you should all be aware that this breed of Frog is massive, it's humongous and its legs are ridiculously long. It's obviously some kind of Hybrid Frog crossed with ......erm........well.....I don't know, just something big!
So beware and don't say I didn't warn you, the Frogs are secretly evolving rapidly and perfecting their attack formations. I had a lucky escape, but save yourselves people, stay away from the water.


Needless to sat I am still Frog, Lizzard, Spider and any other creepy thing Phobic.

I worked with a guy at Dounreay who told me he had met a frog on the road to Latheron in the wee small hours of the morning. He claimed that the frog tried to "take over" his body and he only managed to prevent this from happening after a half-hour battle of "minds"

I am pretty sure that alcohol and other substances were involved in that meeting but it livened up an otherwise mundane tea-break.

[northener]

I worked with a guy at Dounreay who told me he had met a frog on the road to Latheron in the wee small hours of the morning. He claimed that the frog tried to "take over" his body and he only managed to prevent this from happening after a half-hour battle of "minds"

..........

It's nice to know that nuclear fusion was in the hands of such stalwart and straight-thinking characters:D

Then again, I once got stared out by a vole up Strath Halladale.

[Gene Hunt]

I worked with a guy at Dounreay who told me he had met a frog on the road to Latheron in the wee small hours of the morning. He claimed that the frog tried to "take over" his body and he only managed to prevent this from happening after a half-hour battle of "minds"

I am pretty sure that alcohol and other substances were involved in that meeting but it livened up an otherwise mundane tea-break.

Maybe he ran into the Hypno Toad from Futurama .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AOfbnGkuGc ..

[porshiepoo]

Don't look.....

But why would a frog need a pencil????

Oh, come on. Think man, think.
Pencil. Sharp. Very pointy. Filled with Lead. Massive pre-historic Frog creature????????????????????
It's to spear you with obviously. Bet they just jab to start with though. Bet they like to get their pound of fun out of it before they go in for the kill and stab you and then wrap their tongue round you and cover you in acidic juices while you're still alive and then shout their mates to join in and then............

O god I so need help!!!!!!!!!!!

And please don't tell me that they can't evolve. Look at Kermit - he talks and has his own show. The beginning of a mass take over I fear.:eek:

[Gene Hunt]

Oh, come on. Think man, think.
Pencil. Sharp. Very pointy. Filled with Lead. Massive pre-historic Frog creature????????????????????
It's to spear you with obviously. Bet they just jab to start with though. Bet they like to get their pound of fun out of it before they go in for the kill and stab you and then wrap their tongue round you and cover you in acidic juices while you're still alive and then shout their mates to join in and then............

O god I so need help!!!!!!!!!!!

And please don't tell me that they can't evolve. Look at Kermit - he talks and has his own show. The beginning of a mass take over I fear.:eek:

Learn from Kermit and buy yourself a Pig.

If Kermit is anything to go by Frogs are petrified of Pigs. Finding one that can do a karate chop might be a bit difficult though.

[porshiepoo]

Learn from Kermit and buy yourself a Pig.

If Kermit is anything to go by Frogs are petrified of Pigs. Finding one that can do a karate chop might be a bit difficult though.

Baluddy brilliant idea.

NORTHERNER: Can I borrow Crocodilapig please????

[butterfly]

Porshiepoo,next time you go to the pond take a picture of these frogs then post it on here to satisfy my curiosity please!

[northener]

NORTHERNER: Can I borrow Crocodilapig please????

No, get stuffed.

[scorrie]

It's nice to know that nuclear fusion was in the hands of such stalwart and straight-thinking characters:D



Relax, it was Nuclear FISSION we were involved with. The guy went on to be a Psychology Professor after he left Dounreay. Not bad for a laddie prone to trying Mr Spock's Mind-Meld on itinerant amphibians.

[scorrie]

Maybe he ran into the Hypno Toad from Futurama .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AOfbnGkuGc ..

I remember Hypnotoad well. We have blown-glass Christmas Tree decorations which, rather strangely, include a frog who is a ringer for Hypnotoad. Frogs/Christmas? Am I missing some connection here?

[porshiepoo]

Porshiepoo,next time you go to the pond take a picture of these frogs then post it on here to satisfy my curiosity please!

Crikey I'll try but I ain't risking me life looking for them. I can get a photo of them from a mile away and they'd still look huge so that's not a problem, but you'll have to wait for them to appear agin cos I ain't enticing them out.
Too bloody scary!

[porshiepoo]

No, get stuffed.

Oh, well that's erm............pleasant isn't it! I just hope Crocodilapig doesn't also begin to evolve and eat you up! :eek:

[scorrie]

Porshiepoo writes a letter to Kermit the Frog:-

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i237/scorrie57/MuppetsChristmas_LettersToSanta8.jpg

Dear Kermit, Fancy coming to my place for dinner?


Like all polite frogs, Kermit replies:-

Dear Porshie, Sure thing, it sounds great.

ps What's for dinner?


All too late Kermit sees the reply:-

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i237/scorrie57/photo.jpg


YOU!!

Aye, it's a frog-eat-frog world we live in ;)

[Gene Hunt]

Porshiepoo could be right about these frogs, doing a bit of research for a presentation and this came to light .. http://www.ntsb.gov/ntsb/brief.asp?ev_id=20001208X06881&key=1 .. seems they even attack aircraft now !!