scorrie
05-Apr-09, 22:56
As a bit of light relief from the Jade Goody bickering I offer up this, hopefully, controversy free tale.
I have had chronic sinus problems for many years now and two operations have only offered partial relief. Despite the daily steroid nasal sprays, there are days where the muck simply fills up the sinuses and causes discomfort. One day I had a serious blockage on one side, whilst the other was relatively clear. The urge to sneeze came upon me and I convulsed, closing my eyes, as a 200 mph rocket whooshed out of the nostrils. I could tell right away that a "tenant" had vacated the premises at a similar rate and my previously congested sinus felt wonderfully clear. The downside was the obvious fact that a fluorescent green blob was now on the loose, as I had had no time to grab a tissue. It was time to search the kitchen to locate where our snottary friend had made landfall. A check of the lino turned up nothing and looking all round the cupboards was equally fruitless. The horror of a worktop landing reared its ugly head, although I was sure the angle of trajectory was all wrong for such a possibility. Scanning the worktops revealed nothing and the cooker was clear as well. I resigned myself to the fact that my jumper or jeans must be sporting a new logo!! A thorough search showed that my clothing was as clean as a whistle, so where the heck could it be? It definitely came out and it felt pretty substantial, we are talking chewed Roundtree's Fruitgum proportions here!!
I had to go out, so I resigned myself that I would return to discover that my Wife had found the culprit first and I would have to blame one of the kids!
Once I got down the street, everything passed as normal until a man approached me and asked if I had the time. I raised my left arm, turned my wrist towards me and there, right in the middle of the face of my watch, was our translucent green escapee!! I had to stifle the urge to tell the mannie that it was 3'o' Blob and instead wiped the offender away with a tissue and the words "Bloody Starlings"
After I told my wife about the incident she was calling me Harry Snottar for several days.
I have had chronic sinus problems for many years now and two operations have only offered partial relief. Despite the daily steroid nasal sprays, there are days where the muck simply fills up the sinuses and causes discomfort. One day I had a serious blockage on one side, whilst the other was relatively clear. The urge to sneeze came upon me and I convulsed, closing my eyes, as a 200 mph rocket whooshed out of the nostrils. I could tell right away that a "tenant" had vacated the premises at a similar rate and my previously congested sinus felt wonderfully clear. The downside was the obvious fact that a fluorescent green blob was now on the loose, as I had had no time to grab a tissue. It was time to search the kitchen to locate where our snottary friend had made landfall. A check of the lino turned up nothing and looking all round the cupboards was equally fruitless. The horror of a worktop landing reared its ugly head, although I was sure the angle of trajectory was all wrong for such a possibility. Scanning the worktops revealed nothing and the cooker was clear as well. I resigned myself to the fact that my jumper or jeans must be sporting a new logo!! A thorough search showed that my clothing was as clean as a whistle, so where the heck could it be? It definitely came out and it felt pretty substantial, we are talking chewed Roundtree's Fruitgum proportions here!!
I had to go out, so I resigned myself that I would return to discover that my Wife had found the culprit first and I would have to blame one of the kids!
Once I got down the street, everything passed as normal until a man approached me and asked if I had the time. I raised my left arm, turned my wrist towards me and there, right in the middle of the face of my watch, was our translucent green escapee!! I had to stifle the urge to tell the mannie that it was 3'o' Blob and instead wiped the offender away with a tissue and the words "Bloody Starlings"
After I told my wife about the incident she was calling me Harry Snottar for several days.