View Full Version : Teenagers
Hi all,
our 17y old son can't make his mind up if he wants to move to Caithness with us in the summer or get a flat here in England, as he will be 18 just after we move.
I was wondering if there is any similar aged sensible teenagers about who could introduce him to Caithness and teenage activities in the area. Unfortunately he doesn't like any kind of sport but has shown interest to join a gym.
He is into XBox Live (Call of Duty and the likes) and likes to hang out with mates for xbox matches etc.
He sometimes plays pool. And I think that's where his interests end apart from sitting in town looking at girls....
I had endless talks with him but I think it would be easier for him if he could make friends before he has to decide.
We are in Caithness (Shurrery near Halkirk) from the 5th to the 17th of April. Would be nice if he could meet up with other teenagers.
All ideas and offers welcomed!
Bad Manners
26-Mar-09, 18:23
Our lad moved up here when he was sixteen and knew no one. he now has so many friends we almost need an appointment to see him.
Hope he will like it up here our lad would not move back now he likes it too much.
Dreamweaver
26-Mar-09, 19:15
Mine was 16 and he hated it :~(
my two boy were early teens one stayed and one went back to kent at 17 but they do and did have lots of friend
i have a 17year old and there is nothing for them up here to do and if he is looking for work hel be like the 200hunderd or more kids looking for work
Hi all,
our 17y old son can't make his mind up if he wants to move to Caithness with us in the summer or get a flat here in England, as he will be 18 just after we move.
I was wondering if there is any similar aged sensible teenagers about who could introduce him to Caithness and teenage activities in the area. Unfortunately he doesn't like any kind of sport but has shown interest to join a gym.
He is into XBox Live (Call of Duty and the likes) and likes to hang out with mates for xbox matches etc.
He sometimes plays pool. And I think that's where his interests end apart from sitting in town looking at girls....
I had endless talks with him but I think it would be easier for him if he could make friends before he has to decide.
We are in Caithness (Shurrery near Halkirk) from the 5th to the 17th of April. Would be nice if he could meet up with other teenagers.
All ideas and offers welcomed!
does he relise how much it cost to rent or buy a flat and ongoing bills can he afford to.
But i think the problem hear stefan is your timing in deciding to move has put your lad in an awkward situation you could have waited a we while longer until your son was in a position with a job and able to support himself so then he could make a proper decision if the lad is 18 he probably isnt ready to move out and support himself so he hasnt really got much of a choice really has he? Sorry but im just trying to see it from your sons view point.Caithness is a nice place but there is not a lot of work up there thats why a lot of people move away unfortunatley.
i have a 17year old and there is nothing for them up here to do and if he is looking for work hel be like the 200hunderd or more kids looking for work
I agree with u thats going to be his biggest problem getting a job in something he wants to do
, however
I agree with u thats going to be his biggest problem getting a job in something he wants to do
Yes it will be so difficult for him to find work unless he has some specialist subject is a good life but if you are moving to the country but will be a bit isolated and a bit difficult to make friends unless he drives. As said that is why a lot of people leave Caithness to enable their brood to find work down South as not a lot going up here. Hope all goes well for you and that your decision will be the right one.
I don't think we need to discuss those things here. I have my very good reasons why I don't hang around ugly Burton any longer for him. There is no chance he will get a job in the next few years and support himself. He has an offer for supported living down here, but that's a long story and doesn't belong here.
I don't want to discuss my reasons for moving now, but keep in mind I have two more children who can't wait to move to Caithness, they have spent all their holiday in the last 2 year in Caithness and think it's great. Live can't evolve around a lazy teenager, there are other people to consider.
I was just looking to see if there was other teenagers about who enjoy living here and help him along in making a decision. After all you can only make an informed decision when you know both sides of a story (or both places to live in this case).
If he was my own son I wouldn't even give him a choice but I don't have a choice. I am just trying to help him with this unavoidable decision.
Teenagers are difficult, the best of them , when you come at Easter take him out and about to see what the local scene is like.There are army cadets, air cadets and things like that where one could make friends. I am sure there will be some clubs or that in thurso in wick there is a Youth club.
It would be difficult to leave him behind and as you say there are other two to consider. Hope all goes well for you and hope you all enjoy Caithness, peace and quiet. Have you got land? Maybe a horse or some anmals would be of interest.
makes you wonder why on earth folk move up here for, all these negative posts are enough to put anyone of, sure the employment status at the moment is poor, but its the same all over, so surly he should come up here at least he could go to college and still be living at home, so he doesnt need to worry about forking out for all the bills himself.
He is not interested in animals. What he is looking for is somebody who goes to a gym or youth club who will meet up with him beforehand and introduce him. He is not a confident person to go out and do things by himself, although he doesn't look it.
He won't even go to a college course if he doesn't know anybody.
And please don't start telling me know that I need to change that. I call all my kids my sons and daughters but apart from one they are fostered and they have only lived with me for 2 or 3 years. We have kids with very difficult histories and some things can't be changed. Not for a long while.
So if anybody has got a teenager who is willing to meet up with my son and show him round the gym or the youth club or simply have an xbox live session than I would be delighted to hear from them. PM me for his gamer tag.
Please don't turn this into another long winding discussion.
Thanks.
makes you wonder why on earth folk move up here for, all these negative posts are enough to put anyone of, sure the employment status at the moment is poor, but its the same all over, so surly he should come up here at least he could go to college and still be living at home, so he doesnt need to worry about forking out for all the bills himself.
I didn't think it was difficult to find a job. ob offers on the forum all the time, college courses about and so on.
He doesn't have to worry about bills, as a LAC he gets most of his bills paid for if he stays behind.
"Living at home" is a difficult thing for a fostered young person. Home is not always where you live. Home is where your heart is.
I didn't think it was difficult to find a job. ob offers on the forum all the time, college courses about and so on.
He doesn't have to worry about bills, as a LAC he gets most of his bills paid for if he stays behind.
"Living at home" is a difficult thing for a fostered young person. Home is not always where you live. Home is where your heart is.
goodluck anyway, hope it works out for you.
Hi
If he has few interests as it is ,then he will find it more limiting up here. The opportunities for young people here are even less. In terms of jobs the world and it's wife are trying to get jobs, training placements,and work experience so they are all targetting the same people, colleges, job centre, social projects and government programmes.
Sport won't freak him out because it's not widely available here, there's no state of the art facilities.
Hi there Stefan,
I have to say im surprised at all the negative comments on this thread and that no one has responded to your initial question of 'I was wondering if there is any similar aged sensible teenagers about who could introduce him to Caithness and teenage activities in the area'.
I moved to Thurso from Shetland, by myself, when I was 16 to study at the North Highland College. I was terrified of being alone for the first time and of not making any friends but by the time my first October break came along I was having such a good time I didnt go home to Shetland again until Christmas! Im now 27 and im still here and i still love it :D !!
The North Highland College is very popular and although your son doesnt want to go to college, it means there is always a lot of teenagers about who are away from home and looking to make new friend.
The Thurso youth club is also very good and theres a gym in the swimming pool just accross the road. Why not give the youth club a call on 01847 892964 and see if they have anything going on when you are up or if they could arrange for someone to show him around?
All the best whatever happens :)
I don't think we need to discuss those things here. I have my very good reasons why I don't hang around ugly Burton any longer for him. There is no chance he will get a job in the next few years and support himself. He has an offer for supported living down here, but that's a long story and doesn't belong here.
I don't want to discuss my reasons for moving now, but keep in mind I have two more children who can't wait to move to Caithness, they have spent all their holiday in the last 2 year in Caithness and think it's great. Live can't evolve around a lazy teenager, there are other people to consider.
I was just looking to see if there was other teenagers about who enjoy living here and help him along in making a decision. After all you can only make an informed decision when you know both sides of a story (or both places to live in this case).
If he was my own son I wouldn't even give him a choice but I don't have a choice. I am just trying to help him with this unavoidable decision.
Stefan your first post u said he was your son now you are saying he isnt your son so if u have fostered him should you not treat him like your son because it defeats the object of fostering and you have quite clearly stated in the above post why u dont want to hang around burton so your moving for your benifit only and you havent thought about your kids thats how you ar comming across to me.
Your saying life cant evolve around a lazy teenager u should have thought about all that before having or fostering kids thats how i see it.
I just hope the lad isnt reading this posts.
wee sparkle
27-Mar-09, 00:04
well.. i'm 17... 18 in june... and could probably suggest a few things that your son may be interested in :)
- The gym at the swimming pool is a reasonably good one, and once you know a few people, going together is really good!
- I go to MLM (music link media) on a thursday, just home from it!:lol: And it's like in the local youth club where folk go to meet friends, with teenage bands playing, pool tables, table tennis, PS3, and xbox..... loads of people go... and it is one of the best social events in wick!
- I have a brother, who is about to turn 15, who enjoys playing the xbox, also a best friend who is 18 and also enjoys the xbox... so i'm sure he'l have two friends already
- Im not sure of how many other 'non-sporting' things there are in wick... but could find out quite easily...
I hope this is of some help, if you need a guide, i could possibly help, thats if he doesnt mind being toured around by a girl :p
Youve just said what I was thinking but I didnt want to get involved in another heated debate.
Why are some people here so unwelcoming it makes the place look bad:~( Why cant we all just get on and help each other out. x
Hi there Stefan,
I have to say im surprised at all the negative comments on this thread and that no one has responded to your initial question of 'I was wondering if there is any similar aged sensible teenagers about who could introduce him to Caithness and teenage activities in the area'.
I moved to Thurso from Shetland, by myself, when I was 16 to study at the North Highland College. I was terrified of being alone for the first time and of not making any friends but by the time my first October break came along I was having such a good time I didnt go home to Shetland again until Christmas! Im now 27 and im still here and i still love it :D !!
The North Highland College is very popular and although your son doesnt want to go to college, it means there is always a lot of teenagers about who are away from home and looking to make new friend.
The Thurso youth club is also very good and theres a gym in the swimming pool just accross the road. Why not give the youth club a call on 01847 892964 and see if they have anything going on when you are up or if they could arrange for someone to show him around?
All the best whatever happens :)
purplelady
27-Mar-09, 00:22
My girls were just 18 and 20 when we moved here they both found jobs easy and settled into life here , my son was only 5 so he had no problem think it depends on wether your sons wants to settle here or not, i for one am not settled here am counting the days till I can leve but that is me x
Please don't turn this into another long winding discussion.
Thanks.
:L:L:L:L:L you have a lot to learn about the Org!!!!
I know S&HLEN, and its not a bad place! Caithness is a lovely place with lovely people - like wee sparkle :D !! x
wee sparkle
27-Mar-09, 00:33
I know S&HLEN, and its not a bad place! Caithness is a lovely place with lovely people - like wee sparkle :D !! x
Awwwwww! :D Thanks very much! - im blushing now :p -
I do think caithness has a bad rep for its teenagers, alot of whom seem to find trouble quite easily... but for the vast majority, average people, much like myself, its a safe place with a reasonable amount to do (yes we could do with a wee bitty more), but there are some very genuine people my age, who don't get into trouble, and who (much like Stefan's son) just like to play the xbox, maybe play some pool, hit the youth club once a week, just generally have a good time.... whilest staying outta trouble.
=)
Stefan your first post u said he was your son now you are saying he isnt your son so if u have fostered him should you not treat him like your son because it defeats the object of fostering and you have quite clearly stated in the above post why u dont want to hang around burton so your moving for your benifit only and you havent thought about your kids thats how you ar comming across to me.
Your saying life cant evolve around a lazy teenager u should have thought about all that before having or fostering kids thats how i see it.
I just hope the lad isnt reading this posts.
You are right eddie, why move here for some strange reason or whatever and going to leave the fostered son behind. Strange I would say. I have said this forum is getting bad and I am to leave it for once AND FOR ALL BUT i HOPE THIS FOSTER PARENTS WHO ARE MOVING TO THIS COUNTY ENJOY Why does some want to run back to whereverererer??? Why do they come here in the first place with no job ect. I can understand if they have a job to come to but just to run away from something well????? Why should my meagre taxes keep a lazy teenager? What on earth is the country coming too??????
Alice in Blunderland
27-Mar-09, 00:41
Weesparkles mum here.................GET TO BED
If Im around when you are up you are most welcome to come through and visit and have a chat with the kids that hang around my house as well as my own.
Im sure we could have a few of weesparkles friends in to let you know whats going on up here. :)
I work with someone who has teenagers and lives in Halkirk so will ask her tomorrow what she thinks or about where her boys go.
wee sparkle
27-Mar-09, 00:43
Weesparkles mum here.................GET TO BED
If Im around when you are up you are most welcome to come through and visit and have a chat with the kids that hang around my house as well as my own.
Im sure we could have a few of weesparkles friends in to let you know whats going on up here. :)
I work with someone who has teenagers and lives in Halkirk so will ask her tomorrow what she thinks or about where her boys go.
Right right right! ......... im going [disgust]
Catran and Eddie - the org at its worst.[disgust]
Wee sparkle and Alice in Blunderland - the org at its best.;)
Welcomefamily
27-Mar-09, 00:56
It depends what he is use to? facilities up here are extremely poor for teenagers, extremely limited sports facilities and they have to travel so far to play an active role in any sport if they are of a good standard. Limited Educational facilities however it is improving, (however it is only a very small town). Job opportunities are limited.
However you can play an X box in any bedroom any where in the world.
Lots of opportunity for drink, drugs, becoming a boy racer, but then on the bright side, lots of fresh air, fishing, shooting, walking, surfing, no McDonalds, No KFC or Pizza Huts.
Kids are generally more friendly in smaller rural communities, I think all of mine intend at some stage to join the other two down south, lots more opportunity.
Alice in Blunderland
27-Mar-09, 00:56
You are right eddie, why move here for some strange reason or whatever and going to leave the fostered son behind. Strange I would say. I have said this forum is getting bad and I am to leave it for once AND FOR ALL BUT i HOPE THIS FOSTER PARENTS WHO ARE MOVING TO THIS COUNTY ENJOY Why does some want to run back to whereverererer??? Why do they come here in the first place with no job ect. I can understand if they have a job to come to but just to run away from something well????? Why should my meagre taxes keep a lazy teenager? What on earth is the country coming too??????
Are you being serious or have you taken a loopy turn ?.
Goodness so many assumtions , judgements, accusations and downright ignorant statements in one post..................a credit to the org........ not
Need a hand packing for you to leave and plllllllllleeeassssse dont bang the door as you go.:Razz
Alice in Blunderland
27-Mar-09, 00:59
Right right right! ......... im going [disgust]
Get to bed now or Im flicking the fuse in the power box and your room is in instant darkness [lol]
Shheeesh teenagers. Do I have to come downstairs to you BBBBEEEDDDD !
Catran and Eddie - the org at its worst.[disgust]
Wee sparkle and Alice in Blunderland - the org at its best.;)
I agree!!!!!!!
Teenagers are difficult, the best of them You more or less took the words out of my mouth. It's not so much a question of if there are any sensible teenagers here but more a question of are there any sensible teenagers anywhere? :)
Aren't teenage years about being anything except sensible? I thought that came with the territory, it certainly used to when I was that age.
Stefan, he will either like it here or be bored out of his tree, it depends what his interests are and what he may want to do with his life. Bright lights and a club on every corner there ain't but then not all teenagers find that sort of thing necessary.
Come on, where are all the teenagers we have on here, join in and give Stefan some help with information.
You are right eddie, why move here for some strange reason or whatever and going to leave the fostered son behind. Strange I would say. I have said this forum is getting bad and I am to leave it for once AND FOR ALL BUT i HOPE THIS FOSTER PARENTS WHO ARE MOVING TO THIS COUNTY ENJOY Why does some want to run back to whereverererer??? Why do they come here in the first place with no job ect. I can understand if they have a job to come to but just to run away from something well????? Why should my meagre taxes keep a lazy teenager? What on earth is the country coming too??????
Don't worry catran, we will have a whip round and send you the half-penny it will cost you in contributions during the next decade to keep every idle teenager there may be during that period in the whole of Britain.
In fact we will be generous and send you two half-pennies so you will be well in profit.
Alice in Blunderland
27-Mar-09, 08:55
Come on, where are all the teenagers we have on here, join in and give Stefan some help with information.
My guess, lying on street corners, granny bashing or walking out in front of cars, making a nuisance of themselves somewhere smoking and drinking ......... erm whats the other things I read about them often :lol:
Only joking ! ;)
Im sure there are a few who will come on and lend a hand to let us know what its like up here and what there is to do. :D
I think your comments are totally out of order, Its none of your business who moves here everyone in the country is welcome to move where-ever they please. Your commenting on lazy tennagers im sorry but not all tennagers are lazy and while your on about your taxes why dont you start on the adults to while your at it.
Im sorry but jobs in any part of the country at the moment are hard to come by.
You dont know whats going on for them and neither do I but they ll obviously have there reasons and its not our business to know unless it affects us.
Im the one thats fed up of coming on here to see such horrible comments and making people that come here feel well and truely unwelcome its not fair.
I ll be the one leaving the org im so outraged at how cruel people can be on it.
x
You are right eddie, why move here for some strange reason or whatever and going to leave the fostered son behind. Strange I would say. I have said this forum is getting bad and I am to leave it for once AND FOR ALL BUT i HOPE THIS FOSTER PARENTS WHO ARE MOVING TO THIS COUNTY ENJOY Why does some want to run back to whereverererer??? Why do they come here in the first place with no job ect. I can understand if they have a job to come to but just to run away from something well????? Why should my meagre taxes keep a lazy teenager? What on earth is the country coming too??????
Thank you all for your positive comments and please PM me with any offers for meetings, xbox live gamer tags etc.
I will also PM some of you who have made offers.
For those who have commented negatively about me coming to Caithness and my abilities to foster: Read The Children Act 1989, The Leaving Care Act 2001, Every Child Matters and The National Fostering Regulations.
Once you've done come back here and explain your points, as they make absolutely no sense on the basis of those legal documents, which have to be adhered to by every single Foster Carer in the country, no matter where they choose to live and what their reasons might be.
Also remember that "my son" has a Social Worker, A Leaving Carer Worker, A Pathway Plan Worker, a Key Worker and a Therapist who all work with him in his best interest according to his wishes and feelings.
I am sure many "birth children" wished they had that much support.
So if there isn't anything for teenagers in the area why are you people sitting at home moaning about teenagers drinking, taking drugs and make the whole place look untidy? How do you expect things to change if you don't do anything?
I am always proactive and if I find that if I can help then I will. For starters I could help with transport. I have a 7 seater and a son. If anybody has teenagers and know a date and time of interest (youth club?) to go to between the 5th and 18th of April please pm me and I will happily collect up to 5 teenagers and do the transport. Will take me 80mile round trip? Fine. Don't moan. Get on with it.
Stefan
You are right eddie, why move here for some strange reason or whatever and going to leave the fostered son behind. Strange I would say. I have said this forum is getting bad and I am to leave it for once AND FOR ALL BUT i HOPE THIS FOSTER PARENTS WHO ARE MOVING TO THIS COUNTY ENJOY Why does some want to run back to whereverererer??? Why do they come here in the first place with no job ect. I can understand if they have a job to come to but just to run away from something well????? Why should my meagre taxes keep a lazy teenager? What on earth is the country coming too??????
Maybe I have read wrongly but where does it say that Stephan has no job?How do we know what he does and doesnt have?Its entirely up to him and his family where they move [disgust]
As for foster caring well when the child is 18 he does not have to stay with the family of he doesnt want to,again it is his choice to make but why should the whole family put a move on hold to satisfy one person?Even if it was Stephans biological child he may not have wanted to move up to caithness at the age he is at,so why is it different because he is a foster child?
Stephan I wish you well with your move,as for your foster son it will be a big change in his life and only by trying it wil he know if he likes it or not,there isnt that much to do for teenagers but its a case of making the best of what there is really!My 17 year old likes it here but will be leaving for Uni in September and probably wil make a new life for himself down there once his studies are completed,as there arent many opportunities up here for good employment.Anyway I wish you well with whatever choice you and your foster son make x
Stefan, is your son a driver? I moved away 5 years ago when I was 20 so I don't know how much has changed but one of the things I found very frustrating being a teenager living in the countryside (not the town) was not being able to drive and public transport being non existent.
Good luck with the move and if your son does decide to move hopefully he will like it.
supernova
27-Mar-09, 12:31
Thank you all for your positive comments and please PM me with any offers for meetings, xbox live gamer tags etc.
I will also PM some of you who have made offers.
For those who have commented negatively about me coming to Caithness and my abilities to foster: Read The Children Act 1989, The Leaving Care Act 2001, Every Child Matters and The National Fostering Regulations.
Once you've done come back here and explain your points, as they make absolutely no sense on the basis of those legal documents, which have to be adhered to by every single Foster Carer in the country, no matter where they choose to live and what their reasons might be.
Also remember that "my son" has a Social Worker, A Leaving Carer Worker, A Pathway Plan Worker, a Key Worker and a Therapist who all work with him in his best interest according to his wishes and feelings.
I am sure many "birth children" wished they had that much support.
So if there isn't anything for teenagers in the area why are you people sitting at home moaning about teenagers drinking, taking drugs and make the whole place look untidy? How do you expect things to change if you don't do anything?
I am always proactive and if I find that if I can help then I will. For starters I could help with transport. I have a 7 seater and a son. If anybody has teenagers and know a date and time of interest (youth club?) to go to between the 5th and 18th of April please pm me and I will happily collect up to 5 teenagers and do the transport. Will take me 80mile round trip? Fine. Don't moan. Get on with it.
Stefan
Nicely said Stefan. People don't realise what dedication it takes to be a foster carer and why shouldn't you want to move to such a beautiful location? Why are some people so anti "incomers". Don't they realise that people also move out of Caithness? Scots have been helping to populate the rest of the world for centuries. I am please to say that our experiences here have been almost entirely pleasant, the locals are very friendly. There are just a few who spoil it, including some people on the org who like to spew out their prejudices and backward opinions.
There are a lot of teenagers who get into trouble but only because there is a serious lack of things to do. While the youth clubs, cadets, scouts etc are wonderful there just arn't enough things to cater for the teenagers with different interests. There are also of course, many great youngsters in the area who don't get into trouble, of which the county should be proud.
Because other people will read this I will answer in detail:
Stefan your first post u said he was your son now you are saying he isnt your son so if u have fostered him should you not treat him like your son because it defeats the object of fostering and you have quite clearly stated in the above post why u dont want to hang around burton so your moving for your benifit only and you havent thought about your kids thats how you ar comming across to me.
I never said he wasn't my son, I just clarified his legal status, as a foster son he is not legally my son, but I sure as hell treat him like my own. As much as I can because there are several fostering regulation that make it difficult. For example I can not decide where he lives.
However, the objective of fostering is not to treat them like your own but to provide them with an environment where they are safe from harm and have an opportunity to achieve.
Actually I have not stated why I wasn't going to hang around Burton any longer, other than that I believe it's ugly here. There are many reasons for leaving and many reasons for moving to Caithness. One of them is that I have waited for said foster son to finish his NVQ level 2 engineering course at the local college for the last 2 years, which he decided to pack in a couple of month ago...
Your saying life cant evolve around a lazy teenager u should have thought about all that before having or fostering kids thats how i see it.
I just hope the lad isnt reading this posts.
I thought about it long and hard. My partner has two grown up children who have left home and our daughter was only 3 when we started fostering. Life is not easy with lazy teenagers in the house, but statistically children over 15 are extremely hard to find a fostering family for. We take them on, we give them all we can and support them into adulthood (even when we don't get paid for it any more).
"The lad" understands very well that he is lazy and when I read this post out to him he was chuckling and saying that you had no idea.
:L:L:L:L:L you have a lot to learn about the Org!!!!
I sure do :roll:
Weesparkles mum here.................GET TO BED
If Im around when you are up you are most welcome to come through and visit and have a chat with the kids that hang around my house as well as my own.
Im sure we could have a few of weesparkles friends in to let you know whats going on up here. :)
I work with someone who has teenagers and lives in Halkirk so will ask her tomorrow what she thinks or about where her boys go.
Thanks a lot. I will pm you.
I sure do :roll:
and it dont take long either.:lol:
On a serious note though. I hope that you and your son find happiness in caithness. Most people are welcoming and others, well lets say, the less said the better.
As for your son , im sure he will find caithness slower than hes used to, but it grows on you. Summers are great if you get one, and you could always get him surfing in thurso, they have a comp there ever year.. many teens think its boring with nowt much to do, but they say that in big cities aswell.
Hope you both enjoy your time here.
You more or less took the words out of my mouth. It's not so much a question of if there are any sensible teenagers here but more a question of are there any sensible teenagers anywhere? :)
There are plenty of teenagers who don't drink or take drugs. Who are able to have a conversation, keep their rooms reasonably tidy and see a sense in getting up before 4pm. They might make you a cuppa occasionally or take the rubbish out.
They don't hang around town verbally abusing passers by, breaking into cars or damage other peoples property.
They keep themselves busy with sending endless text messages, stealing flags from each other (COD) or meet up to hang out at the youth club. You might see them in town but they are not a nuisance.
That's sensible to me.
If you say that's not sensible then you don't know many teenagers....
Maybe I have read wrongly but where does it say that Stephan has no job?
I'd like to know that too. How many times have I said I foster?
Fostering Agency Regulations state that one parent has to be available to support the child / the children should they not be in education.
In other words: it's a full time job.
I certainly won't be running out trying to find employment in Caithness if I already have a full time job. 24/7 job actually.
Depending on the children we have it can be that difficult that my partner also has to stay at home, which she did last year. Back in employment now as things got easier...
Stefan, is your son a driver? I moved away 5 years ago when I was 20 so I don't know how much has changed but one of the things I found very frustrating being a teenager living in the countryside (not the town) was not being able to drive and public transport being non existent.
Good luck with the move and if your son does decide to move hopefully he will like it.
No, he doesn't drive yet, but he has applied for a grant towards his lessons and will be learning to drive if he moves with us.
However, I am not afraid to taxi my kids to the bus stops and pick them up later. He walks everywhere here which can be up to 5 miles or he takes his push bike if it's further away.
I understand there are good bus links from Halkirk to Thurso and Wick. We will be renting in Halkirk for a couple of years, so he should be fine.
In the summer he will be fine walking or cycling to town, it can be quite nice. in the depths of winter though, takes it little more determination lol
Sorry, Stefan, I wasn't meaning to knock teenagers, especially by suggesting they were all troublesome and yobbish in their behaviour. It was more that they sometimes act in ways that adults can't quite make sense of and do things which make you just stand an shake your head.
I know I must have done when I was that age and my sons certainly did without being out of hand. One thing I am out of touch with, I have to admit, is teenagers and computers, they weren't around even when my lads were that age.
It's more that I gave up, a long time ago, trying to make sense of what teens do and, even more so, trying to work ot the logic. I tend just to accept them as they are, providing they are not creating trouble, and let them get on with it.
One thing I will say is that you don't have to explain to anybody on here why you are a foster parent or what your lad does or does not do with regards to work or anything else. That is your business and yours alone and nobody has the right to poke their nose in that matter.
Certainly nobody has the right to try and dictate who is or is not welcome here, and by far the majority of those you live here would never dream of being so rude. I've always found the people of Caithness both warm and friendly and also very welcoming. Having said that, like everywhere else, there will always be the odd exception who gives a bad impression of what the locals are like.
Cedric Farthsbottom III
27-Mar-09, 22:45
I'm not a teenager Stefan,but ye are all wanting to move to Caithness.Yer family will either like it or you will not.I moved to Caithness with dunderheed and another guy fae Ayrshire.I love Caithness,a true community,aye its not perfect,but what is?The other guy fae Ayrshire didnae enjoy it and went back to Ayrshire,Dunderheed loved Caithness but work took him to Sutherland.He didnae go back to Ayrshire though.Ye bring the family to Caithness,it will be a hit or a miss.Thats life.The teenager is old enough to know for himself what he wants for himself.Let go.Ye've done yer bit.Its now up to him.
I stayed in Caithness good family,good friends and whit a guid laugh I've had in 15 years.Long may it continue.Nae worries it will:D
teenybash
27-Mar-09, 23:12
Stefan, you might just find your son likes it here as he sounds a quiet lad. He may not be into animals excetera but, he might just find himself liking the slower, less pressurised way of life here......and there are plenty of lovely teenage people in Caithness as well as the motley crew you get anywhere.
Hope he does decide to stay and you all find what you seek. Good luck.:)
All adults were teenagers once which a lot seem to forget. It would do them better to pass on their wisdom rather than criticise.
Crikey I cant believe some of the posts on this thread!
I moved up here from England without a job but it didnt mean I was expecting the tax payers to keep me, I was quite capable of paying my own way so people shouldnt judge you just because you dont work!
I moved up with 3 children eldest & youngest loved it from the start, middle one HATED it!! It took him a couple of years to settle in properly but now he would never leave.
Jobs are hard to come by up here but its no different than any other remote area you just have to be willing to travel further.Theres the same social activities as anywhere else if not more, my kids do alot more activities up here than they did when living in the town.
wee sparkle
28-Mar-09, 00:19
All adults were teenagers once which a lot seem to forget. It would do them better to pass on their wisdom rather than criticise.
Well said! Tend to find alot of adults just presume all teenagers are drug-taking, school-dodging, alcoholics.... when most are harmless :D
Well said! Tend to find alot of adults just presume all teenagers are drug-taking, school-dodging, alcoholics.... when most are harmless :DMaybe they judge teens by their own standards.
wee sparkle
28-Mar-09, 00:37
Maybe they judge teens by their own standards.
Maybe indeed..... i think some just read things in the news... and see clusters of them outside late at night... and assume that we're all like that...:confused
Maybe indeed..... i think some just read things in the news... and see clusters of them outside late at night... and assume that we're all like that...:confusedWe all know that all adults never did any wrong, don't we?;)
wee sparkle
28-Mar-09, 00:49
We all know that all adults never did any wrong, don't we?;)
Hahaha course not!..... ;)
Hahaha course not!..... ;)It's an unwritten rule that adults may tak no responsibility for their previous acts as a teenager. This there-fore allows them the right to pontificate when talking about teens.
wee sparkle
28-Mar-09, 01:01
It's an unwritten rule that adults may tak no responsibility for their previous acts as a teenager. This there-fore allows them the right to pontificate when talking about teens.
I quite believe it! :lol:
Or as Alice would say:
" Do as mummy says.... not as mummy does!" :lol:
Alice in Blunderland
28-Mar-09, 09:21
It's an unwritten rule that adults may tak no responsibility for their previous acts as a teenager. This there-fore allows them the right to pontificate when talking about teens.
AMEN to that one TBH angels we were the lot of us when we were teenagers. :eek:
I quite believe it!
Or as Alice would say:
" Do as mummy says.... not as mummy does!"
CORRECT my dear child and always remember that one.
oooops its before lunchtime so you wont see my reply for a few hours yet now will you. ;) Teenagers sheesh :roll:
We all know that all adults never did any wrong, don't we?;)
How dare you suggest such a thing TBH, are you a latent teenager, [lol]
i moved up here from Bath two months ago,lovin it!! I have two babies (both in their early twenties) who have made there own ways into the world,youngest in Edinburgh,eldest stayed in Bath (work and mates!).Love them with all my heart but they have been (and still can be) a 'challenge'! Isn't having the good times as well as the bad part of having kids,its what makes the memories.how many times ,if we're all honest,did our peers sigh at us when we were young and tell us that we were up to 'no good' etc,life is all about taking chances and making decisions,from deciding to walk to what glass to put your false teeth into at bedtime! :D
How dare you suggest such a thing TBH, are you a latent teenager, [lol]Apologies Golach, now I am away till sulk.:~([lol]
Apologies Golach, now I am away till sulk.:~([lol]
Tidy that room, and dont slam that door [lol]
Gene Hunt
28-Mar-09, 20:58
Teenagers ?? .. never underestimate them. My identical twin daughters pulled a stormer on myself and the wife a couple of weeks ago that we only found out about recently.
Daughter one was grounded on a Friday night for being a bit cheeky to me. She was upset as she had wanted to nip out to her boyfriends for an hour before he went off for the weekend with his parents. Daughter two said she was staying in. Turns out that daughter one did indeed sneak out. Daughter one left daughter two the jumper we had seen her wearing (they were both wearing dark jeans and have similar hairstyles), daughter two had nipped downstairs into the kitchen a few times but had changed her jumper in between so that we would think it was her sister as she passed the open space that leads into the living room. We knew daughter one was in a mood and didn't expect her to speak so their little plan worked. Daughter one sneaked back in an hour or so later and we were none the wiser.
They would have got away with it too but daughter one made a comment at Breakfast the other day about something her boyfriend said "that Friday night I was grounded" Me and the wife exchanged confused looks, they knew they had dropped themselves in it and they came clean right away.
I really don't know whether to be angry or proud of them but both of them lost two weeks allowance anyway. One week for disobeying me and their mum and another week for being stupid and telling us about it.
LOL, I should imagine that most people who have a twin have taken advantage of it at some point!
I really don't know whether to be angry or proud of them but both of them lost two weeks allowance anyway. One week for disobeying me and their mum and another week for being stupid and telling us about it.
I expect somebody to say "Oh, no, you can't do that, you should have thought about having twins before you got married and ..."
Nah, only joking, but just for the record: I wish I could do that. Fostering Regulations state that pocket money can only be withheld for a period of time, after which it has to be given to the child.
So much for treating them like your own. And can you imagine the uproar if I did that with my daughter but not the foster kids ?
both of them lost two weeks allowance anyway. One week for disobeying me and their mum and another week for being stupid and telling us about it.
Lol I like it, my father always dished out a double punishment also, for exactly the same reasons, his words were "One for what ever you did, and the other for getting caught", after a few punishments, I endeavoured not to get caught, but never worked all the time [lol]
purplelady
29-Mar-09, 00:37
Crikey I cant believe some of the posts on this thread!
I moved up here from England without a job but it didnt mean I was expecting the tax payers to keep me, I was quite capable of paying my own way so people shouldnt judge you just because you dont work!
I moved up with 3 children eldest & youngest loved it from the start, middle one HATED it!! It took him a couple of years to settle in properly but now he would never leave.
Jobs are hard to come by up here but its no different than any other remote area you just have to be willing to travel further.Theres the same social activities as anywhere else if not more, my kids do alot more activities up here than they did when living in the town.
my elest hated it tool but ahe has settled well and has good job at bt as a manager now I truely think she wouls not have done so well in england x
Gene Hunt
29-Mar-09, 12:28
I expect somebody to say "Oh, no, you can't do that, you should have thought about having twins before you got married and ..."
Nah, only joking, but just for the record: I wish I could do that. Fostering Regulations state that pocket money can only be withheld for a period of time, after which it has to be given to the child.
So much for treating them like your own. And can you imagine the uproar if I did that with my daughter but not the foster kids ?
Bit surprised at that rule regarding the pocket money, it's not really a punishment if it is just delayed but then your hands are tired aren't they ??, my two get a lot of leeway as teenagers but they know where the line is.
My two made a big effort to get half of their punishment overturned as they maintain it is my genetics that cause them to be "a bit dopey at times", I said I would think about it if they cleaned the car as well as doing their chores around the place.
Suckers .. :lol:
Bit surprised at that rule regarding the pocket money, it's not really a punishment if it is just delayed but then your hands are tired aren't they ??, my two get a lot of leeway as teenagers but they know where the line is.
My two made a big effort to get half of their punishment overturned as they maintain it is my genetics that cause them to be "a bit dopey at times", I said I would think about it if they cleaned the car as well as doing their chores around the place.
Suckers .. :lol:
There are plenty of other punishments we can use (no TV, no sweets, no outings, no friends round etc.) but the rule about pocket money makes a lot of sense. If you withhold pocket money you can encourage children to offend (shop lifting), which isn't a problem with your own if you taught them all the right values... but can easily happen with foster children. Some kids had to steal off their parents (money for food) or from the shops/market (food) for years. They easily go back to that if we stopped their pocket money. Some kids steal food from the kitchen for years just because that's what they've always done... even though than can have food whenever they want. They take it and hide it in their room. Stealing is nothing unusual for some foster kids and taking their money away is not going to help them to understand those shiny new values about "only take what you can pay for and bring the receipt home".
At least your kids are trying. Not all teenagers would offer to do more jobs to get their money back, or at least some of it. Seems they know how to get to you though.... :roll:
Gene Hunt
29-Mar-09, 18:06
There are plenty of other punishments we can use (no TV, no sweets, no outings, no friends round etc.) but the rule about pocket money makes a lot of sense. If you withhold pocket money you can encourage children to offend (shop lifting), which isn't a problem with your own if you taught them all the right values... but can easily happen with foster children. Some kids had to steal off their parents (money for food) or from the shops/market (food) for years. They easily go back to that if we stopped their pocket money. Some kids steal food from the kitchen for years just because that's what they've always done... even though than can have food whenever they want. They take it and hide it in their room. Stealing is nothing unusual for some foster kids and taking their money away is not going to help them to understand those shiny new values about "only take what you can pay for and bring the receipt home".
At least your kids are trying. Not all teenagers would offer to do more jobs to get their money back, or at least some of it. Seems they know how to get to you though.... :roll:
Never considered that side of things really, but that does make sense. Its shocking though that children have to go through things like that. Life is tough enough as an adult these days and their childhoods should be something to be enjoyed and not endured. Kudos for fostering though, takes a lot of character to go through all that.
My kids do know how to get round me, its the father/daughter thing really. Now that my son has left home I am outnumbered three to one by women, so its like being ambushed by Tigers and having a stick of celery for defence but they are taking the punishment this time. They lied and defied me and their mum and that isn't acceptable no matter how clever they were.
I have a nice clean car though, inside and out .. :lol:
Are you being serious or have you taken a loopy turn ?.
Goodness so many assumtions , judgements, accusations and downright ignorant statements in one post..................a credit to the org........ not
Need a hand packing for you to leave and plllllllllleeeassssse dont bang the door as you go.:Razz
I have gone but I feel there is one last thing to do, I do not bang doors, neither am I ignorant, this is not a door banging home only state facts when the occassion arises,. I admire people that can foster it is such a worthwhile vocation and it certainly is a labour of love. I have friends that have fostered for many many years, the husband being an engineer and the missus devoting all her time to the children in her care, setting an admirable example for their bairns future wellbeing. Not an easy task but they do get great satisfaction when they get their foster children who have made their way in the world visiting with their children.
I would also like to take this opportunity of thanking those generous orgers who so willingly offered to donate towards my taxes. The offer has been declined but if they so wish they can contribute to a charity of their own choosing. http://forum.caithness.org/images/icons/icon10.gif
I know this is an old thread but my son has finally decided to live with us in Halkirk and has been here for a week.
He is 18 in 2 weeks and is looking for some mates. He didn't get on the course at college he wanted to do as he didn't apply for it in time (because he wasn't sure that he was coming up) and is now considering a career in the army.
He enjoys xbox live, doesn't drive and hates public transport (not a good combination up here but he will have to get used to the buses for now).
If there is any teenagers/young adults who want to meet up with him or just enjoy a match on xbox live (he plays mostly call of duty 4 online) then please PM me with an xbox live ID or mobile number.
He also needs to get fit for the army, so if there is anybody out there who wants to bike around or goes to a gym please also get in touch.
Bump.
He is getting depressed and wants to get back down south.... anybody out there who drives ?
He is just sitting in his room on his xbox 12 hours a day... can't carry on like that... he can't cope with the fact that everything is so far away up here.... likes it generally and he is a good lad, but not coping well right now....
He is missing people knocking on his door or him being able to pop round his mates...
tartanyorkie
10-Sep-09, 17:36
My son and I are in the same boat! It is only because he goes to school in Thurso that he has made friends. There are few kids here but because they have all grown up together it is hard for someone to break in. He sits on his XBox and laptop all weekend. I am the one who gets depressed, 10 hours a day on my own. If it wasn't for my husband I would not see a soul for days. The buses from here are terrible, either the school bus or one in at lunchtime and cannot get out again until half past three - one hour is too long to spend in Thurso never mind three!! You do really have to be able to drive to live up here. If I could get a job it would not be so bad, but that would be another thread I would have to rant on.
How long have you been in Reay? There is the Reay Ball in the hall on saturday night, get yourself and hubby along there to meet a few folk.
tartanyorkie
11-Sep-09, 09:55
Ha ha, I have been to 'events' in Reay before. People appear from somewhere - I have never seen them before and never see them again. People only speak to people they know, it is not a very sociable place and that is not only my opinion, other newcomers say it, lol.
dragonfly
11-Sep-09, 10:07
Bump.
He is getting depressed and wants to get back down south.... anybody out there who drives ?
He is just sitting in his room on his xbox 12 hours a day... can't carry on like that... he can't cope with the fact that everything is so far away up here.... likes it generally and he is a good lad, but not coping well right now....
He is missing people knocking on his door or him being able to pop round his mates...
how about a girlfriend for him.................I have a 17 year old going to the 1st bidder, she's mouthy, untidy, opinionated, has known everything since she was 4 years old but I think she does have a nice side to her as well (so other people outside the family have told me) :lol: and after next week she may be a driver who could pop round to collect him
how about a girlfriend for him.................I have a 17 year old going to the 1st bidder, she's mouthy, untidy, opinionated, has known everything since she was 4 years old but I think she does have a nice side to her as well (so other people outside the family have told me) :lol: and after next week she may be a driver who could pop round to collect him
My son says has she got facebook ?
He'll check it out. Then he might offer a penny ;-)
No honestly, does she have facebook? PM with her name.
dragonfly
11-Sep-09, 10:19
a penny sounds a good offer for her :lol: think she has just created a facebook account so she can spy on me however she has bebo - will PM her name on that - forgot to add that she is in training for when she turns 18 by then she will be a fully fledged pub goer!
Editing to say hubby says we will pay the penny!
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