Attitude and Perception.

[cuddlepop]

There has been two cases in particular that have been reported in the press recently with regards to the accused "suffering" from Aspergers.:confused

The british citizen who hacked into America's security system,looking for evidence of aliens and todays report in the Mail about the failed suicide bomber.

The first only recently got a diagnose while the later has always suffered from mental health issues,one being Aspergers..

If someone was to tell you they had Aspergers how would you react?

Now be honest here,its really important to me because I fear my daughter thinks peoples attitude towards her will change if she tells them and/or they will percieve her to be "unstable":(

[crashbandicoot1979]

Personally it wouldn't bother me if someone told me they had aspergers. But then I grew up with a disabled sister so have had dealings with folk with various conditions and disabilities through my life so maybe I'm more tolerant/open minded than other people might be.

I do wonder if all the accused really do suffer from it. I fear that aspergers is maybe too easy a label to stick on someone as a means of trying to justify what they've done. Therefore those who really do suffer from it end up tarred with the same brush so people assume they're trouble. I don't think its a condition that the general public knows much about so its easy to pull the wool over their eyes.

[cuddlepop]

Personally it wouldn't bother me if someone told me they had aspergers. But then I grew up with a disabled sister so have had dealings with folk with various conditions and disabilities through my life so maybe I'm more tolerant/open minded than other people might be.

I do wonder if all the accused really do suffer from it. I fear that aspergers is maybe too easy a label to stick on someone as a means of trying to justify what they've done. Therefore those who really do suffer from it end up tarred with the same brush so people assume they're trouble. I don't think its a condition that the general public knows much about so its easy to pull the wool over their eyes.

I've found that people who have been around a disabled friend or relative are more tolerant of people with a disability,especially one you cannot see.

Aspergers is a Pervasive Developmental Disorder that quiet frankly restricts their ability to interact in a "normal" way.

They just dont compute unless you programe them properly from an early age.
We were relatively lucky as my daughter was 9 when she was diagnosed.

Like you I feel its a label thats being used to explain the unexplainable,in some cases.:(

[domino]

Would worry me in only that that they are much brighter than me but otherwise ordinary. have some experience of people with Aspergers.

[domino]

cuddlepop,
I think that both you and I dislike labels. They should only be used for packaging.

[cuddlepop]

cuddlepop,
I think that both you and I dislike labels. They should only be used for packaging.

Yes I'd agree with you there,labels are irrelavent its the package inside that counts.;)

[JAWS]

Cuddlepop, it might help if one of you gave a reasonable explanation (that is reasonable as opposed to the more dramatic extremes usually depicted) of what the condition entails. I have a suspicion that the only cases most people hear about are the very extreme cases shown on TV etc.

I am thinking of how things like paranoid schizophrenia are viewed because it is only generally mentioned when it is used as a defence in particularly violent or multiple murder cases. The impression given by that is that everybody suffering the ailment is likely to chop somebody into small pieces at a moments notice.

Other than that, because most problems with the mind are things people can never see, as you can with physical problems either directly or by diagrams, the instinctive problem of “fear of the unknown” can kick in and make some people very wary.

I would think that people being able to picture the kind of effect could well ease any qualms they might have.

[sweetpea]

If someone was to tell you they had Aspergers how would you react?

Now be honest here,its really important to me because I fear my daughter thinks peoples attitude towards her will change if she tells them and/or they will percieve her to be "unstable":(


I've worked with people who have Aspergers and have always treated them the same way as anyone else. :)

[YummyMummy]

There's nothing "unstable" about people with Aspergers - they are more likely to be most stable and consistent among us!

My husband and son have Aspergers Syndrome, so this is very close to my heart. Both are very open about their condition and we tell most people as it is part of us.

I have found everyone to be cool with this and those that don't know what it is, usually ask. We give them an explanation and they seem to understand.

The 2 cases are very interesting and I think it is more likely than not that those individuals have Aspergers. Tony Atwood's got a lot to say on this topic and helpfully points out that most folk that have Aspergers are very unlikely to ever commit a criminal offence (because of the focus on honesty; rules and rightousness!!), but some might inadvertantly get into hot water because of their "special interest", not realising the consequences of their behaviour and actions on others.

A great post Cuddlepop! Tell your daughter to be proud of who she is and anyone with an understanding of Aspergers Syndrome will be able to relate to her just fine.

[butterfly]

[quote=cuddlepop;493956].

If someone was to tell you they had Aspergers how would you react?


it wouldnt make any difference to me if they said they had aspergers.if you are worried about your daughters friends and how they would react then talk to the parents of these friends and explain the condition to them.maybe they just need to understand the condition and if they dont like it then they are not worthy of your daughters friendship.i can understand the need to protect your daughter from people who are unkind,this can be a cruel world.

[cuddlepop]

Cuddlepop, it might help if one of you gave a reasonable explanation (that is reasonable as opposed to the more dramatic extremes usually depicted) of what the condition entails. I have a suspicion that the only cases most people hear about are the very extreme cases shown on TV etc.

The condition has some common features these being an inability to relate to subtle expressions,
They cant face read the way we instinctively do.It all has to be taught.

Literal interpretation of lanuage,pull up your socks means just that.

There appears to be no empathy so they come across as cold and uncaring.
This is not the case they just dont no whats acceptable behaviour.

Everythings to extrem,5 portions of fruit and veg means 5.

Extreme stress and anxiety is how the condition manifests itself for my daughter.
A sore heads a brain haemorage,a pain in the chest a heart attack.:(
Very little confidence in her own ability;Its better to think you'll fail than try and then fail.

I hope this helps alittle Jaws.

[cuddlepop]

[quote=cuddlepop;493956].

If someone was to tell you they had Aspergers how would you react?


it wouldnt make any difference to me if they said they had aspergers.if you are worried about your daughters friends and how they would react then talk to the parents of these friends and explain the condition to them.maybe they just need to understand the condition and if they dont like it then they are not worthy of your daughters friendship.i can understand the need to protect your daughter from people who are unkind,this can be a cruel world.

Her friends are brilliant and some have stood by her since nursery.
The problem we're facing now is that she can repeat 6th year but would have to explain why she's staying on to people outwith school.
If she goes to college we've been told that she has to admit she has a "problem" that requires extra help.

What she has at school in her mind is not transferable to college so would all have to be reprogrammed again.:confused

[Goldie]

Education to the Nation is what is needed. I think it is about time school’s had time on the curriculum for teaching people about special needs. Schools have moved forward, in most cases, in the way they can offer help for people with special needs to be able to enrol into mainstream school’s, however, the children usually learn to ’accept’ that someone in their class has special needs but can’t really understand the bigger picture.

If children where being made aware of the difficulties people face through out the growing life as part of the curriculum, in living with and understanding special needs, it would make acceptance in adult life so much easier.

I am fortunate to have two children that have no special needs but they are totally understanding of people who do. They have several friends between them who do have special needs, physical and mental needs. I believe this is because they have been brought up to understand how we are all different but we all need to be treated with love and care.

The media can make or break situations. If you look back to Big Brother, one year they had Pete who suffered with torretts. He won the hearts of the nation and opened people’s eyes to torretts syndrome. Which made people more understanding to a syndrome that they had previously mocked.

I think people hold back if they don’t understand about why a condition will make people behave in a way that would not be considered ‘normal’ (I use that word only to mean normal to them). If we could educate children about all different disabilities they will learn to understand, accept and most of all realise that they can have a great friendship with people who are facing greater difficulties than themselves in everyday life.

The first time I came across Aspergers was when one of my friends nephew had Aspergers, she also went on to have a son diagnosed with Aspergers. It was absolutely no trouble at all to learn about his needs and to embrace his needs.
I believe it is lack of education about people’s needs that needs to be tackled.
I hope I have not upset anyone in any comments I have made, I truly have no problems or worries on being with anyone with any special need, mental or physical. I wish that people could know more and be more confident with special needs. They could then learn that some of the people who have been ‘labelled’ into groups that they shy away from are so loving and can enrich their lives so much.
Cuddlepop I love your saying ‘Never judge someone until you have walked two moons in their moccasins’
So true. Cheers

[teenybash]

Cuddlepop within society there are many people with Aspergers who have never been diagnose because it has been in the past 20/30 years that the condition was finally given a name.
Personally I don't see a problem and think it is wrong that a college would want to see your daughter admit to having a problem before accepting her....one of societies wrongs in my eyes.
Your daughter would have a great wrong done to her if she is prevented from entering college as, somewhere within her will be her gift or her special talent and this can be brought to light through extended education.
There are and have been many prominent figure who have or had Aspergers and among those that spring to mind are, Michael Palin, Bill Gates, Jim Hanson creator of the Muppets.Michael Angelo, Einstein and the list goes on.
I have someone close to me who I sincerely believe has Aspergers [undiagnosed]and though it is difficult at times to cope with the lack of empathy and the 'me first' tendancy as well as trying to give suttle instruction on what is acceptable or not Aspergers people can go on and live a fullfilling life having reached their potential.
I hope your lovely daughter will go on to college and be the very best she can be and show those that would label her that the best they can do with it is....................tear it up!!;)

[butterfly]

you havent offended me goldie,i just wish there was more people like you in this world.

[Goldie]

you havent offended me goldie,i just wish there was more people like you in this world.

Bless you thanks ;)

There are plenty of us - you being one of them too

Cheers

[JAWS]

Thanks, cuddlepop. I know a lot of people will have only come across the very extreme cases which tend to be the one's who make the headlines. As with any condition there are always a wide range of levels from people who are slight sufferers to those who are almost totally incapacitated and need constant care.

That was what I was trying to get across. As you describe, five as a general guide is taken as meaning five exactly and not four or six.

I am astonished at the attitude of the College. I would have thought that the last thing that your daughter needs is being made to feel that she has had a huge sign attached to her which, in effect, says, “Hello, I’m different!” That is ridiculous.

[butterfly]

Bless you thanks ;)

There are plenty of us - you being one of them too

Cheers

thankyou very much for that ,well chuffed now!

[butterfly]

I am astonished at the attitude of the College. I would have thought that the last thing that your daughter needs is being made to feel that she has had a huge sign attached to her which, in effect, says, “Hello, I’m different!” That is ridiculous.

thats exactly what i was thinking:mad:

[cuddlepop]

Thanks for all your replys,they have helped.

I think what the college is trying to do,much like all the professions we've had dealings with,is admit that she has a problem and accept it.

Without acceptence there can be no "recovery" if you like.

Her label will open doors for her that would have otherwise been closed ,so it can if choses use it to her advantage.

As she is high functioning it has alwas made her angry when she saw and heard discrimination taking place.
Unfortunatly without the confidence to challange authority it left her fustrated.

We were hoping that college would give her the tools to enable her to be an ambassator for disabilitys.:)

One little step has to be taken first and that acceptance.

[percy toboggan]

Aspergers ,manifests itself in many ways I understand. From wildly unusual behaviour to undetectable mannerism and traits. I know a little, from radio broadcasts... and think it's a branch of autism, but not as isolating or as difficult to deal with.

I also understand that many people with Aspergers are gifted in certain ways...often numerically and are good at problem solving, or drawing.

I'm probably better informed than most, although I know very little - why would I?

I'm only writing this to give a clue as to what Mr.Average bloke in the street might think who takes it upon himself to learn a little about most things.

[cuddlepop]

Aspergers ,manifests itself in many ways I understand. From wildly unusual behaviour to undetectable mannerism and traits. I know a little, from radio broadcasts... and think it's a branch of autism, but not as isolating or as difficult to deal with.

I also understand that many people with Aspergers are gifted in certain ways...often numerically and are good at problem solving, or drawing.

I'm probably better informed than most, although I know very little - why would I?

I'm only writing this to give a clue as to what Mr.Average bloke in the street might think who takes it upon himself to learn a little about most things.

Thank you for your input Percey.
Its a common held conception that people with Aspergers can be gifted in some way.
Unfortunatly though this does not apply in my daughters case.

Average inteligence but unable to communicate through the written word what is being asked of her.
Its as if there's a break in the connection that requires information to be read to her before she can answere questions.

But talk,she's talk the hind legs off a donkey.:lol:

[teenybash]

But talk,she's talk the hind legs off a donkey.:lol:

Then thisone of her gifts Cuddlepop, to talk, to communicate....what is needed is to find the way to have her chatty personality work for her.
I would suggest looking at what she talks about...is it particular subjects, interests is it creative ideas? Is she funny, humorous with her chatter or is she a bit of an actress, good at mimicing others, does she make people laugh with her......There could be an interesting journey ahead for this you lady....:Razz

[Julia]

I have a friend with Asperger's Syndrome and he leads a pretty normal life indeed, he has a job, drives and does most things that guys the same age as him do. Being aware that someone has Asperger's I thinks makes it easier to understand how or why the person says or does certain things that may appear unusual if you know what I mean.

Here's a good website (http://www.oaasis.co.uk/?gclid=CJjvnInXu5gCFQ48QwodMVIIbg) for parents and children alike

[cuddlepop]

Then thisone of her gifts Cuddlepop, to talk, to communicate....what is needed is to find the way to have her chatty personality work for her.
I would suggest looking at what she talks about...is it particular subjects, interests is it creative ideas? Is she funny, humorous with her chatter or is she a bit of an actress, good at mimicing others, does she make people laugh with her......There could be an interesting journey ahead for this you lady....:Razz

She's a natural born comedian.
Give her a voice and act to copy and she'll have you in stiches.

I wish she had the confidence to do this professionally but for just now she cant even attend any of the transition meetings she's suppose to attend.

When I worked in the nursing home she would chat away to the residents even the ones with severe dementia.At times having a conversation with herself.:lol:

My daughter has many special gifts,the greatest being tolerance of others.

[teenybash]

You are so lucky to have this lovely daughter who sounds like a joy.
Her confidance, with time and encouragement will grow....there is no rush, she is young yet.
I know all youngsters are under major pressure due to the type of education system we have and maybe she needs to know it is okay not to sure what she wants to do with her life..............I know in my teens I hadn't a clue where I was going far less how I was going to get there:confused
Enjoy your walk along lifes road with her, guiding and steering her to be the best she can be...........love the laughter she brings, smile at her sense of humour and sit in wonder as you watch her grow into a happy, healthy young woman.:)

[cuddlepop]

I have a friend with Asperger's Syndrome and he leads a pretty normal life indeed, he has a job, drives and does most things that guys the same age as him do. Being aware that someone has Asperger's I thinks makes it easier to understand how or why the person says or does certain things that may appear unusual if you know what I mean.

Here's a good website (http://www.oaasis.co.uk/?gclid=CJjvnInXu5gCFQ48QwodMVIIbg) for parents and children alike

Thats what I think too Julia.
If peole know that you usually have to repeat an instruction several times before she understands what is being asked of her,the people wouldnt lose their temper with her.
At times her obsessive behaviour of needing to know what everyones up to drives us mad.
Unlimited text tarif is wonderfull for her mobile.:lol:

That a good website,thanks for posting this link.