kids an the internet..

[grumpy1]

Im interested in what others would do given the same circumstance....
i have 3 children and i let them all use the computer, however i am very careful to moniter where they go and who they talk to..my middle daughter has got herself rather infatuated with a site called Habbo,..its a virtual world where u can meet friends build up yr house etc..she quite often chats to her school friends...up to recently its been quite harmless....
well i just found out that she has been having an unsavory topic of conversation...so i went on the site only to find f....ing and blinding and really quite shocking for a site that is aimed at young teen..i have instantly banned her from the pc... told her im cancelling her subscription and tried to explain to her the dangers of chatting to strangers like this...
she finds it hard to make friends at the best of times and really doesn't have very many...so as a result im the worst mother ever..theres been lots of tears and major tantrums...
so my question is have i been too hasty in my actions....i personally feel i have done the right thing to try and protect my child against what could be a risky situation..after all they're not kids long and they should enjoy it..

[hotrod4]

I think you are right in the way you have handled it.(though she will see it as too harsh as it wasnt her that was typing in the sweary words but she's paying the price for it) There is too much "Out there" that can affect and harm kids.Personally i use BT for my broadband and each person has to sign in to use it.(I know they can try and bypass that) but it lets them know that I am watching,and they never know when I will check the logs;). It has different settings for different age groups.

[balto]

Im interested in what others would do given the same circumstance....
i have 3 children and i let them all use the computer, however i am very careful to moniter where they go and who they talk to..my middle daughter has got herself rather infatuated with a site called Habbo,..its a virtual world where u can meet friends build up yr house etc..she quite often chats to her school friends...up to recently its been quite harmless....
well i just found out that she has been having an unsavory topic of conversation...so i went on the site only to find f....ing and blinding and really quite shocking for a site that is aimed at young teen..i have instantly banned her from the pc... told her im cancelling her subscription and tried to explain to her the dangers of chatting to strangers like this...
she finds it hard to make friends at the best of times and really doesn't have very many...so as a result im the worst mother ever..theres been lots of tears and major tantrums...
so my question is have i been too hasty in my actions....i personally feel i have done the right thing to try and protect my child against what could be a risky situation..after all they're not kids long and they should enjoy it..
sympithis with you here grumpy1, my middle daughter also has let this habbo go to her head, she is 8, at one stage she had invited 2 children? onto my msn address(wont allow her her own one) and i went through the message archive and there was noway these were kids that she was speaking to going by the content of the conversation, so these 2 were swiftly reported,as you say they arent kids for long. i agree with what you have done, well done for taking a stand.

[A9RUNNER]

Its a difficult one to police. In every walk of life there are bad people to avoid at all costs, however I think in real life you have an instinct as to who the wrong uns are. On the web I think it is easier to put a false persona over. After all I bet half the folk on here are not as the posts they make indicate. (ie I bet all the moaning sods are actually cheery happy folk ;))

But where kids are involved it makes it all so much more difficult. The unsavoury conversations online probably mimic topics that teenagers discuss face to face in real life with lots of bragging and bravado in front of friends. However on the intenet a "friend" may not actually be of a similar age and may have alterior motives. My daughter loves using the web however she is young enough yet that she sticks to whatever kids website I put on for her and she doesnt have an email address. When she is older I suppose I will have these same worries myself. What I dont understand is why some kids are allowed to have accounts with websites that are clearly not intended for the age they are. For example Bebo. I have seen young kids who have bebo pages yet in bebos terms and conditions you are supposed to be 13 to have an account.

[ShelleyCowie]

I can honestly say i have never heard of Habbo! Am i behind with the times? lol!

I know many people with Bebo and you actually have to be 13 i think! And i do know quite a few people that are not.

I think you are right in what you have done. I have seen many young people on computers IE aged 5+ and for maybe playing PC games aimed for children (from discs only) then maybe thats ok. But not for the internet!!

So well done for the way you have handled it! ;) It seems a very fair punishment. Until kids/teens can learn to NOT abuse the internet then they should not use it. Well thats what i say!

Shame they didna have a kiddies .org! [lol]

[rfr10]

I would install parental controls onto your computer and let your daughter know you have these installed to ensure she is kept safe on the internet. You can usually configure these programs to log and capture screen shots whenever any inappropriate language is detected on screen. Rather than banning her from using the computer, you can restrict sites she is able to visit and also allocate certain times that she can access the internet for.

May I also take this time to promote our child internet safety information on our website at the following link which may be useful for your daughter-

http://www.hyv.org.uk/internet-child-safety.html

;)

[ShelleyCowie]

Its a difficult one to police. In every walk of life there are bad people to avoid at all costs, however I think in real life you have an instinct as to who the wrong uns are. On the web I think it is easier to put a false persona over. After all I bet half the folk on here are not as the posts they make indicate. (ie I bet all the moaning sods are actually cheery happy folk ;))

But where kids are involved it makes it all so much more difficult. The unsavoury conversations online probably mimic topics that teenagers discuss face to face in real life with lots of bragging and bravado in front of friends. However on the intenet a "friend" may not actually be of a similar age and may have alterior motives. My daughter loves using the web however she is young enough yet that she sticks to whatever kids website I put on for her and she doesnt have an email address. When she is older I suppose I will have these same worries myself. What I dont understand is why some kids are allowed to have accounts with websites that are clearly not intended for the age they are. For example Bebo. I have seen young kids who have bebo pages yet in bebos terms and conditions you are supposed to be 13 to have an account.

Ah A9Runner u was typing the same time as me...about bebo..i was correct then lol

[teenybash]

You have done exactly the right thing....the tantrums will pass.
You might find it useful to discuss with her putting parental controls into place and limiting the time she spends online and including her in why you have made this choice may well see her settle down and possibly see your point of view. Good old fashioned compromise and take it from there.

[Ricco]

Grumpy1, you have done the correct thing. I organised a set of lessons on Internet safety at school, using two resources:

BBC Chatguide - http://www.bbc.co.uk/chatguide/teachers/ram/chatguide_hi.ram

ChatSafe - Thames Valley Police video (not active at present)

Worth getting your daughter (and her friends) to watch these.

[grumpy1]

thanks to all for the constructive feedback...the battle has been won for today but i fear the war is not over lol

[Ash]

i sit with my nearly 5 year old, on nick jnr website or cbeebies and we play games and print out pics, but i would never ever let her go on the internet unsupervised, too many young people on bebo, and i think they should be over 13 aswell, i dont agree with letting them on these sites at all

[honey]

ive never heard of Habbo either, but is it not moderated? maybe report these members.

my 9 year old got a laptop for xmas, and has joined club penguin. its a disney site and sounds similar, but its a lot stricter by the sounds of it. there certain phrases and words that cant be used when chatting to other members for example. I dont know about the older kids, but it is aimed for up to 14 year olds..

HTH

[YummyMummy]

Grumpy1, you have done the correct thing. I organised a set of lessons on Internet safety at school, using two resources:

BBC Chatguide - http://www.bbc.co.uk/chatguide/teachers/ram/chatguide_hi.ram

ChatSafe - Thames Valley Police video (not active at present)

Worth getting your daughter (and her friends) to watch these.


www.thinkyouknow.co.uk (http://www.thinkyouknow.co.uk) is good too - different age categories for children and young people themselves and a great resource for parents and carers too. Some very powerful scenarios to watch (but I think you may need teacher/training access for those)

[kitty kat]

every teen ha a potty mouth when speaking to friends my only concern (in your shoes) would be would she use other peoples pc's instead. explaining the dangers is all you can do because if she really wants to use it she will. at least she knows you are checking now and will be more careful about what she says but i would rather have it going on where i can check than behind my back as a lot of teens do. as long as she does not agree to meet these people and give out personal details telephone numbers address etc. i no alot of people will disagree with me but i would rather have it done where i can check:confused

[pinotnoir]

If you go to this link http://www.gotateenager.org.uk/
and type bebo into search box and scroll down you will find a link to "Tips on internet safety".

Searching through this site you will find many tragic tales regarding the malevolent influence of social networking sites and from personal experience I would caution any parent about the dangers of unsupervised internet access.