Another blonde one

[peedie man]

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a big note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde.” The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

[laguna2]

lol [lol]:lol:[lol] .................

[peedie man]

This new blonde schoolteacher has her first day at school...during a break she walks outside and observes a field with kids running around...except one kid who is standing all alone...she walks up to the kid and says "it's OK for you to go out there and join in the fun " but the kid says" it's better if I stay here"..."why" says the blonde"...because the kid says "I'm the goalie"

[peedie man]

Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

[floyed]

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

[floyed]

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.

"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.

[peedie man]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

[peedie man]

Safety First From a Blond Female

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I ease my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully get out of the car

And open the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.

They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

But to my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting

Their horns and waving like crazy.
It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me.He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! ''What's going on here?"

"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"'Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"

I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"

[peedie man]

A blonde phones the fire station to say her house is on fire the fireman says how do we get there ??.... The blondes says IN YOUR BIG RED TRUCK...