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Gizmo
11-Jul-08, 12:24
Disaster in Wick
An Appeal for Your Help


A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Friday morning. Epicentre: Close to Lidl, Wick, Scotland

The earthquake decimated the town, causing nearly £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken up well before their Giro arrived. Caithness FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Wick

One resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon Kylie Mackay said: "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning".

Locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight and Fruit Shoots to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals, rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos, and bone china from Whatsits.
Can You Help....?

Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing
for the victims of this disaster.


Clothing is needed most of all, especially:
· Fila or Burberry baseball caps
· Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)
· Shell suits (female)
· White sports socks
· Rock-Fort boots or any other product sold in Primark

Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your efforts will make a difference.
Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew are ideal.

Please do not give anything that requires peeling.

Remember:
· 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims
· £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9
· £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves

Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells

Please do not send tents for shelter.
The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding Caithness communities.

brokencross
11-Jul-08, 12:27
Are you trying to create a real earthquake.

rfr10
11-Jul-08, 12:28
I'm confused.... :confused

Gizmo
11-Jul-08, 12:38
I'm confused.... :confused

About what?

rfr10
11-Jul-08, 12:39
About what?

Everything you've just typed :Razz

CFM
11-Jul-08, 12:42
Are you trying to tell us that Barnsley is not in Caithness?

Gizmo
11-Jul-08, 12:42
Everything you've just typed :Razz

What's confusing about it?, it's a humourous post i saw on another website, i just altered the text slightly to fit Wick.

Beamer
11-Jul-08, 12:43
Thanks for a good laugh Gizmo - made my day.

Gizmo
11-Jul-08, 12:44
Are you trying to tell us that Barnsley is not in Caithness?

Oops!...i proof read it 3 times before i posted aswell...shudda gone to specsavers :)

silverfox57
11-Jul-08, 12:45
About what?
think you have wrong thread ,should be in joke threads.:lol:

tisme
11-Jul-08, 12:46
Excellent, well done :lol:

Gizmo
11-Jul-08, 12:49
think you have wrong thread ,should be in joke threads.:lol:

Nope, it's of 'General' interest to me :)

highlander
11-Jul-08, 12:51
Good one!! gawd help if there is a special offer of baked beans in tesco's next week, could be a lot of rumbles then lol

weegie
11-Jul-08, 12:57
it made me laugh :)

rfr10
11-Jul-08, 13:00
What's confusing about it?, it's a humourous post i saw on another website, i just altered the text slightly to fit Wick.

I thought you were being serious first of all until I read the clothing wanted :Razz

Ash
11-Jul-08, 13:01
ive copied that and emailed it to friends :lol::lol:

helenwyler
11-Jul-08, 13:30
Brilliant, Gizmo :lol:! Every line a gem. Thanks for posting it and giving me a lunchtime LOL!

teenybash
11-Jul-08, 13:40
Absolutely Brilliant...................[lol]

scorrie
11-Jul-08, 13:43
Brilliant, Gizmo :lol:! Every line a gem.

"it's a humourous post i saw on another website, i just altered the text slightly to fit Wick"

helenwyler
11-Jul-08, 13:49
"it's a humourous post i saw on another website, i just altered the text slightly to fit Wick"

Yes I know, scorrie. I read that too. It is still very funny, and I'm glad Gizmo posted it :D.

Gizmo
11-Jul-08, 13:52
Yes I know, scorrie. I read that too. It is still very funny, and I'm glad Gizmo posted it :D.

Some people eh?

Glad you enjoyed it Helen, it certainly made me laugh when i first saw it :)

wifie
11-Jul-08, 14:09
Tsk, tsk, tsk Gizmo...........................;)!

mccaugm
11-Jul-08, 14:18
[lol]Saw this on an email years ago, at the time the reference was to the Glasgow area although think most places are reasonably applicable.

LOL

Alice in Blunderland
11-Jul-08, 14:41
Okay, Ive got my emergency supplies all gathered up and ready for dispatching..........................which street will I send them too .......:lol:

Will there be queues of people waiting desperately for these essential items ......


Were there any BRITISH people killed ? there is no mention of any deaths.....

I am willing to help out in any way I can take as many people to the pub as can fit in my car will that help :confused Will I be on the telly if I help ?

BazzaG
11-Jul-08, 15:34
Lmfao nice one gizmo

nightspirit
11-Jul-08, 16:09
Nice twist on an old joak - they did one about port glasgow down here a while back.. just as funny but gettin old

balto
11-Jul-08, 17:01
[lol]thanks gizmo for cheering me up, super story.[lol]

plasticjock
11-Jul-08, 19:02
Disaster in Wick
An Appeal for Your Help..............
A major earthquake ...............one resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon Kylie Mackay said: "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning".

Your posting is very funny, Gizmo. Only the person who slips on the banana-skin doesn't laugh.

The version I've got varies slightly with:
'...One resident, pregnant Tracy Sharon Smith, a fifteen-year-old mother of four said “I wasn’t long in, like, when my littlest, Sigourney, came running in the bedroom wiv me babysitter, crying, like, and I had to change both their nappies, like. My younger two, Tyler DiCaprio and Danii-Kylie slept right through it, like. I haven’t seen my eldest, Jude MC-Flash, since Friday, like, so I hope he’s alright, like. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha, like....”'

Additionally there is:
'Bangladesh, Somalia, Ethiopia, Rwanda & Uganda have already organised clothing aid shipments ready for immediate transportation.
Buses are still running through the area, though drivers report that the amount of debris in the streets is no more than that which they usually have to avoid.
Aerial pictures show a wide area of devastation but it is unclear how much of it can be attributed to the tremor.'

I can't mention where my version happened cause I still live there but it was a brill April Fool several years back and caused a bit of controversy when the local lemon-suckers didn't see the humour in it. I imagine they would have enjoyed it if it had been another area, though.