View Full Version : Arranged/Forced Marriages...what do you think?
Penelope Pitstop
11-Mar-08, 12:42
What do you think about muslim arranged/forced marriages where the parents/family pick the husband/wife?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7288952.stm
Personally I don't agree with it at all, but am interested in your opinions.
there is nothing wrong with an arranged marriage, but forced marriages are completely different, and completey appalling.
I have asian friends, some will marry someone picked by their parents, others wont, but the important thing here, is, at the end of the day, its their choice.
Boozeburglar
11-Mar-08, 12:53
This is not exclusively an Islamic question.
I have met some very happily married, but I am instinctively against anything that removes personal freedom or choice.
In some situations, an arranged marriage is organised more like a dating agency, and there is a large amount of choice.
One of my friends went to Pakistan and married a man she never met, she seems 'happy enough', whatever that means.
What do you think about muslim arranged/forced marriages where the parents/family pick the husband/wife?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7288952.stm
Personally I don't agree with it at all, but am interested in your opinions.
Whether or not I or anyone else agrees with it is not IMO the issue. The issue is surely that in Britain this is against the law, and every person in the country should be protected under those same laws.
Boozeburglar
11-Mar-08, 13:09
Most arranged marriages are not against the Law.
The madness of the law for arranged marriages needs to be addressed...No human has the right to force another to do anything.....And marrying a young child to an older man is disgusting........
Our daughter came home with a religious education book, which covers all aspects of religious ceremonys, not once does it ever mention the words Forced Marriages.....but it exists and all for a dowry......[evil]
Arranged marriages are not new, this has been happening since the Dark Ages even in the Christian Society. Just have a look back in history at the Royal Families of the World, I use this example as a quick reference point, nothing against the Royals.
Sapphire2803
11-Mar-08, 13:37
I'd have to agree with what some others have said. There's a big difference between arranged marriage and forced arranged marriage. If someone is quite happy with the idea of marrying someone they may never have met, all arranged by their parents, then fine. Wouldn't suit me, but that doesn't mean I should force my opinions on others.
Forced marriages are another issue though. I think anyone who forces their children into a marriage they don't want for the sake of money or (so called) honour should be locked away for many years. The folk (mainly men) who stubbornly believe they have the rule over their children (mainly daughters) in such a way, need re-educating. Preferably in a small, dark, locked room with a length of hose. Harsh? maybe, but then look at all the 'honour killings' over the last few years.... Makes me sick!
Penelope Pitstop
11-Mar-08, 15:29
Yeah, consenting adults entering into this type of arrangement is fine....their choice.
What I worry about is the young girls, some as young as 13 being forced into this. All under the banner of an arranged marriage.
I'm sorry.... maybe I am being a bit old fashioned. If someone moves to this country isn't it because they want a better life? Isn't it because they want to get away from the regimes in their old country?
Why, then, insist on still hauling their children 'back home' to a marriage that the parents arrange for them? Why not allow the children to adopt the system in that wonderful country that the parents felt they had to move to for a better quality of life?
I was moved here when I was a nipper and I have adopted the laws, policies and rituals of Britain. If I had children I would not feel duty bound to haul them back to Canada to marry someone there. They have their own life to lead and their own choices to make.
Personally, I think it smacks of indoctrination. But then, as I said, maybe I am old fashioned. :eek:
Arranged marriages are fine if both parties are willing.
It is when one is forced into it that it becomes unacceptable.
Penelope Pitstop
11-Mar-08, 17:34
I'm sorry.... maybe I am being a bit old fashioned. If someone moves to this country isn't it because they want a better life? Isn't it because they want to get away from the regimes in their old country?
Why, then, insist on still hauling their children 'back home' to a marriage that the parents arrange for them? Why not allow the children to adopt the system in that wonderful country that the parents felt they had to move to for a better quality of life?
I was moved here when I was a nipper and I have adopted the laws, policies and rituals of Britain. If I had children I would not feel duty bound to haul them back to Canada to marry someone there. They have their own life to lead and their own choices to make.
Personally, I think it smacks of indoctrination. But then, as I said, maybe I am old fashioned. :eek:
Well said Ricco.
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