Sapphire2803
28-Jan-08, 14:48
And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwins are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
This years nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI. was killed in March as he
was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck". Burns
got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath
so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns
clothes caught on something however, and the other man found Burns
"wrapped in the drive shaft".
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December
in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his
bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38
Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged
24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into
the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as
he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law
students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength
according to police reports.
Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the
Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest"
members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had
spent several years awaiting South Carolinas electric chair on a murder
conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While
sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV
set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN.
A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a
muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his
face, sheriffs investigators said.
Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents rural Dunkirk home at about
11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber
muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the
lighter to look into the barrel when the gun-powder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment
in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan
Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said
Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the
chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and
struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after
midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis,
38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching
trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol
fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon
inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and
the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After
Traveling Approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the
testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and
striking a tree Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the
accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his
testicles, which will never operate as intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank
God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we
might both be dead," stated Wallis "I've been a trooper for 10 years in
this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that
those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon
being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs
the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck???
(Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure
as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued
that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)
This years nominees are:
Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI. was killed in March as he
was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck". Burns
got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath
so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns
clothes caught on something however, and the other man found Burns
"wrapped in the drive shaft".
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December
in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his
bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38
Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged
24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into
the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as
he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law
students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength
according to police reports.
Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the
Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest"
members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had
spent several years awaiting South Carolinas electric chair on a murder
conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While
sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV
set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN.
A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a
muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his
face, sheriffs investigators said.
Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents rural Dunkirk home at about
11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber
muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the
lighter to look into the barrel when the gun-powder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment
in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan
Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said
Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the
chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and
struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after
midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis,
38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching
trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Pooles pickup truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol
fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon
inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and
the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After
Traveling Approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the
testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and
striking a tree Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the
accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his
testicles, which will never operate as intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank
God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we
might both be dead," stated Wallis "I've been a trooper for 10 years in
this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that
those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon
being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs
the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck???
(Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure
as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued
that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)