trinkie
01-Dec-07, 08:40
The Post Office Queue.
When I wis yeoung in days gone by
There wis something I wanted till do
Whenever I'd get my Pension Book
To stand in the Post Office queue!
How I dreamed of that day
And what I wad say
Till those I met standin there
I'd hold my head high
There'd be no need till try
I’d keep a superior air.
For I'd come of age
I'd turn a new page
In my Book of Life, you see
I'd be there in the queue
Wi fowk that I knew
Fowk fa grew up wi' me.
There'd be Bella and Maggie and Chessie and Chane
An yin cheil fa's name I forget
An Willie and Chimmy and Billy and Chon
An some ithers I know, but regret.
But that wis my dream
An now it wad seem
The Post Office is no till be
For the modern auld folk
(This fair mak's me choke)
Hev nae Bookie at all ye see !
I'm sorry till mention
The fact is wur Pension
Goes straight in the Bank
Doon e street
There's no Bookie for us
They call it a 'fuss'
Fowk standin aroon on ould feet!
But doon till ai P.O.
I 'm eager till go
So I set off there each day
An stand in the queue
for an hour or two
An chat wi ould freens.... as I say -
There's Bella and Maggie and Chessie and Chane
An Peter and Donal' and Hugh
We each buy one stamp
Then back home we tramp
An the next day return till e queue.
On Monday's hids quiet
So we start a riot
An liven the place up so weel
We shove and we push
Create a richt crush
An Ann shives in her high heel.
On Tuesday we go in the efternoon
An tak them all by surprise
We put on our hoods
Our bonnets and snoods
Richt over our failing eyes.
On Wednesday were good
For the thocht o' the food
They bring us from Meals on Wheels
Mak us subdued
Wi their rhubarb that's stewed
An custard like jellied eels.
On Thursday we're tired
Quite under-fired
Cos we'd all been up in the night
But there in the queue
The first thing I knew
Ould Donal had started a fight.
On Friday again
A mornin' of rain
We're doon till wur queue once more
Though we're all soakin' weet
From wur heads till wur feet
We march through the Post Office door.
Up till e coonter
We go wan by wan
An ask for a single stamp
We fumble in purses
Wi oaths and wi curses
Cos wur fingers are all rather damp.
The wiffie disna smile tae us
No' Thank you' does she say
Bit that's just fine
We're no deterred
We'll be back there the very next day.
Then Robbie hes a richt good thocht
So roon the coarner we go
"Let's rob ai bank"
He says till us
So off we dash quite slow.
In we go through the big double door
Wi our brollies and sticks and canes
"This is a hold up"
Says Robbie out loud
An Donal throws a few stanes
Somebody then falls doon on ai floor
An Bella trips ower him as weel
The alarm has gone off
There's a richt royal roar
An Chessie wallops some cheil
He’s no very pleased
An hits her back
An Maggie raises her stick
Then Cheemag and Robbie
An Nellie and Hugh
Hand us each a brick.
We all start throwin' withoot a care
We hevna hed such fun
Since Chinnad sat on a broken chair
While eatin a hot-cross bun.
Then in cam ai Poliss
An said "Aye, aye,
What's goin on in here?"
"We've come till rob ai bank" says Chon
An we all raise a cheer.
"But this is no the Bank" he says
"Hid's further doon ai street"
We all look roond and double back
An mak a hasty retreat.
Back till ai Post Office we slowly go
An each ask for a stamp
Then home we mak our weary way
Smiling, though very damp.
When I wis yeoung in days gone by
There wis something I wanted till do
Whenever I'd get my Pension Book
To stand in the Post Office queue!
How I dreamed of that day
And what I wad say
Till those I met standin there
I'd hold my head high
There'd be no need till try
I’d keep a superior air.
For I'd come of age
I'd turn a new page
In my Book of Life, you see
I'd be there in the queue
Wi fowk that I knew
Fowk fa grew up wi' me.
There'd be Bella and Maggie and Chessie and Chane
An yin cheil fa's name I forget
An Willie and Chimmy and Billy and Chon
An some ithers I know, but regret.
But that wis my dream
An now it wad seem
The Post Office is no till be
For the modern auld folk
(This fair mak's me choke)
Hev nae Bookie at all ye see !
I'm sorry till mention
The fact is wur Pension
Goes straight in the Bank
Doon e street
There's no Bookie for us
They call it a 'fuss'
Fowk standin aroon on ould feet!
But doon till ai P.O.
I 'm eager till go
So I set off there each day
An stand in the queue
for an hour or two
An chat wi ould freens.... as I say -
There's Bella and Maggie and Chessie and Chane
An Peter and Donal' and Hugh
We each buy one stamp
Then back home we tramp
An the next day return till e queue.
On Monday's hids quiet
So we start a riot
An liven the place up so weel
We shove and we push
Create a richt crush
An Ann shives in her high heel.
On Tuesday we go in the efternoon
An tak them all by surprise
We put on our hoods
Our bonnets and snoods
Richt over our failing eyes.
On Wednesday were good
For the thocht o' the food
They bring us from Meals on Wheels
Mak us subdued
Wi their rhubarb that's stewed
An custard like jellied eels.
On Thursday we're tired
Quite under-fired
Cos we'd all been up in the night
But there in the queue
The first thing I knew
Ould Donal had started a fight.
On Friday again
A mornin' of rain
We're doon till wur queue once more
Though we're all soakin' weet
From wur heads till wur feet
We march through the Post Office door.
Up till e coonter
We go wan by wan
An ask for a single stamp
We fumble in purses
Wi oaths and wi curses
Cos wur fingers are all rather damp.
The wiffie disna smile tae us
No' Thank you' does she say
Bit that's just fine
We're no deterred
We'll be back there the very next day.
Then Robbie hes a richt good thocht
So roon the coarner we go
"Let's rob ai bank"
He says till us
So off we dash quite slow.
In we go through the big double door
Wi our brollies and sticks and canes
"This is a hold up"
Says Robbie out loud
An Donal throws a few stanes
Somebody then falls doon on ai floor
An Bella trips ower him as weel
The alarm has gone off
There's a richt royal roar
An Chessie wallops some cheil
He’s no very pleased
An hits her back
An Maggie raises her stick
Then Cheemag and Robbie
An Nellie and Hugh
Hand us each a brick.
We all start throwin' withoot a care
We hevna hed such fun
Since Chinnad sat on a broken chair
While eatin a hot-cross bun.
Then in cam ai Poliss
An said "Aye, aye,
What's goin on in here?"
"We've come till rob ai bank" says Chon
An we all raise a cheer.
"But this is no the Bank" he says
"Hid's further doon ai street"
We all look roond and double back
An mak a hasty retreat.
Back till ai Post Office we slowly go
An each ask for a stamp
Then home we mak our weary way
Smiling, though very damp.