golach
26-Jun-07, 22:31
The ability to make and understand puns is the highest level of language
development.
Here are the (alleged)10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at him and says, I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!"
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other
says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said," I can't
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but
they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up
the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh
can prevent florist friars.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. ! He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him (Oh man, this is so bad, it's good) a
super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
development.
Here are the (alleged)10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at him and says, I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
"Dam!"
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other
says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said," I can't
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but
they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up
the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh
can prevent florist friars.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. ! He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him (Oh man, this is so bad, it's good) a
super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.