Scottish Exec promote "Baby Bonding" [Archive]

HomeFixit

25-Mar-07, 22:07

There was an article in Scotland on Sunday today - apparently the Scottish Executive advise parents to carry their babies in soft slings and give them massages to prevent mental health problems in later life.

http://scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=461952007

I've got a wee fella of my own and I spent many hours gazing into his eyes when he was tiny... personally I think breastfeeding and being at home rather than rushing back to work are more important than baby-slings and massages.

Good on the Executive to try and promote bonding between parents and children, though.

As one wise woman said:
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children."
-- Marianne Williamson

What do you think?

_Ju_

25-Mar-07, 23:19

I agree with you, in that spending (quality) time with your babies and breast feeding does more that any legislative directives could.

The feeling I get is that fewer mum's here are encouraged and taught how to breast feed (I am not talking about the mothers that cannot breast feed for physiological reasons), so the massages and soft slings would be a substitute for that close contact. I wouldn't swap the hard work it was breast feeding my little boy for anything, even though I was exhausted for 6 months and didn't sleep a whole night for 2 years. He still loves to rest his forhead on my arm when he wants a cuddle (age 5), and I know that is reminiscent of his babyhood and breast feeding.

Angela

26-Mar-07, 09:50

My daughter takes her baby to a (free) baby massage class in Perth where they live.

She finds it's very relaxing for her as well as the baby. It's very popular - just not enough spaces for all the people who want to go along unfortunately.

Of course once you've learned how to do the massage you can do it at home, but getting out to the class is good socially too, especially if you're feeling a bit isolated.

Bobinovich

26-Mar-07, 10:41

I took our first along to baby massage classes in the health centre in Thurso - I found it to be a great way of bonding with him, which is why I did it as opposed to Mrs Bob because she was already bonding in her own way.

However I found it much more difficult bonding with our 2nd as she was breast fed for almost the a year, which automatically made mum the natural bonder - even though it was me who got up and lifted her from her moses basket to her mum and then back once she was done (mum barely had to wake up!). It wasn't until she came off the breast that I was able to bond fully with her.

Even now 7 & 5 years on respectively I have one-on-one time with each at some point in our hectic weekly schedules by taking them swimming individually, and it's usually me who tucks them into bed at night as they see their mum for more of the day and this is part of my time with them.

Angela

26-Mar-07, 10:48

Even now 7 & 5 years on respectively I have one-on-one time with each at some point in our hectic weekly schedules by taking them swimming individually, and it's usually me who tucks them into bed at night as they see their mum for more of the day and this is part of my time with them.

Agree with you Bobinovich that there are lots of ways for both parents to bond with their children at all ages....and one-on-one time is very important, even more so as they get older perhaps.

emszxr

26-Mar-07, 11:15

i do massage my 9 month old usually at night after her bath. she really likes it.
i also carried her in a sling when she was little, but she too heavy now, kills my back ( too many times lifting washing machines :lol: )
but i do agree that breastfeeding is the best form of bonding for a mother and her baby. i love breast feeding my baby. knowing that she is getting the best i could give her is a wonderful feeling. i breast fed my 1st as well. and she still shouts for me if she falls or hurts herself for a cuddle. but she also has great time with her dad. she is a bit of a daddys girl. they go in the land rover together and muck about outside. so there is time for each parent to bond and have some one on one time with each child.

HomeFixit

26-Mar-07, 12:14

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking baby massage - its a great way to spend time with your baby, especially for dad's I suppose. I hadn't thought of that!

One of the midwives in Wick does a baby yoga class too which is great fun, and she also does baby swimming. I've heard there is a baby swimming class just started last week in Thurso - best ask the midwives if you are interested since they are organising it.

j4bberw0ck

26-Mar-07, 13:29

apparently the Scottish Executive advise parents to carry their babies in soft slings and give them massages to prevent mental health problems in later life.

I'm as lost as the next parent on a number of aspects of how to deal with child upbringing, but I do wonder where we went so wrong that Governmental agencies (I presume it's an agency rather than the MSP's) have to get into giving advice on such things. I mean, an organisation that can't even sort itself out is advising on child-rearing? It's Government agencies that seem to make worse a fair number of mental health problems.

Angela

26-Mar-07, 13:38

I'm as lost as the next parent on a number of aspects of how to deal with child upbringing, but I do wonder where we went so wrong that Governmental agencies (I presume it's an agency rather than the MSP's) have to get into giving advice on such things. I mean, an organisation that can't even sort itself out is advising on child-rearing? It's Government agencies that seem to make worse a fair number of mental health problems.

Don't disagree with you there Jw0ck - as you probably know I'm none too keen on these government "initiatives".:lol:

But I do think that groups provided at a local level can be a very good thing (especially to first time parents, who may be feeling a bit isolated) and as far as I can see are over-subscribed, so there is a demand for them.

I imagine they do as much for the mental health of the parents as for the future mental health of the babies.

I just wish they'd been around when my first child was a baby and I was an isolated first-time mum! :(

j4bberw0ck

26-Mar-07, 14:13

Mmm - you may have a point, Angela. Now, as the first-time dad of a teenager I could use some advice now and again..... any mind-readers specialising in teenage "logic" about here?

_Ju_

26-Mar-07, 14:40

Mmm - you may have a point, Angela. Now, as the first-time dad of a teenager I could use some advice now and again..... any mind-readers specialising in teenage "logic" about here?

You are using the wrong math: logic has nothing to do with teenagers. Chaotic Fractals, however..........

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.piglette.com/fractals/butterfly.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.piglette.com/fractals/butterfly.html&h=480&w=640&sz=267&hl=en&start=1&um=1&tbnid=5G5rt2QPSk2imM:&tbnh=103&tbnw=137&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmathematical%2Bfractals%2Bchaos%26svn um%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1B2GGIC_enGB204 GB204%26sa%3DN

justine

26-Mar-07, 15:01

Mmm - you may have a point, Angela. Now, as the first-time dad of a teenager I could use some advice now and again..... any mind-readers specialising in teenage "logic" about here?

you may want to remember what it is like to be a teenager and remember the stresses that you went through...Thats what i do with my oldest who is 17 this years...I think like her...But it all depends on the situation...:lol:

Angela

26-Mar-07, 15:11

you may want to remember what it is like to be a teenager and remember the stresses that you went through...Thats what i do with my oldest who is 17 this years...I think like her...But it all depends on the situation...:lol:

Hard to balance being the parent (in charge) and seeing things from your teenager's point of view I sometimes found...have I gone way OT here, or can I justify myself by saying it's still about bonding?:roll:

golach

26-Mar-07, 15:18

you may want to remember what it is like to be a teenager and remember the stresses that you went through...Thats what i do with my oldest who is 17 this years...I think like her...But it all depends on the situation...:lol:
Sorry Justine, I have two teenage grandaughters, and no way could I begin to fathom their stresses, as a '50's teenager myself, I cannot think of anything that I considered as being stressful, nothing was "PC", respect was a god given right to your parents and all those in authority. We lived in a simpler and happier time.

justine

26-Mar-07, 15:25

Sorry Justine, I have two teenage grandaughters, and no way could I begin to fathom their stresses, as a '50's teenager myself, I cannot think of anything that I considered as being stressful, nothing was "PC", respect was a god given right to your parents and all those in authority. We lived in a simpler and happier time.

Ok not the best suggestion....But i agree with you about not having things that i would class as stress when i was a teen..Not quite a 50.s but 70,s...My parents were strict but fair and i found no hard ships....But maybe you will be able to help me out with my only boy when he reaches teen, as i have no idea what it is like to be an adolescent male....But he has 7 sisters to guide him along the way....

And yes it is all about bonding, but it also has to do with passing on your beliefs and thoughts to your children to show them what is right and wrong....
My kids are 16,12,8,5,4,4,2,1 and i am still learning all the right and wrong ways of becoming a good parent....Its a lie when they say it gets easier the more you have...

Angela

26-Mar-07, 15:29

Sorry Justine, I have two teenage grandaughters, and no way could I begin to fathom their stresses, as a '50's teenager myself, I cannot think of anything that I considered as being stressful, nothing was "PC", respect was a god given right to your parents and all those in authority. We lived in a simpler and happier time.

What do your children (your g'daughters' parents) feel though golach?

My grown up kids see a big difference from when they were teenagers (not all that long ago) and how things are now...sometimes when we're chatting and I say boringly (as you do!) "when I was....it was like this"...and they say "but Mum, it was the same when we were...." :lol:

I feel everything's changing much faster all the time...but that could be a sign of old age ;)

sorry, gone well OT here....

cuddlepop

26-Mar-07, 16:49

The Scottish Executive in one breath are encouraging mothers to go back to work and in the other there all"Baby Bonding"incentives.:confused
Touch no matter if your young or old or even an animal is relaxing.
Go hug a tree;)

HomeFixit

26-Mar-07, 21:09

Yes its all a bit bemusing, trying to promote baby bonding at the same time as encouraging mums back to work. Eventually the government might realise that childrearing is the most important work in the world - they should be paying mums to stay at home and bring up the next generation.

Breastfed babies will be healthier and use less NHS resources, massaged babies will be happier and less likely to cost the state in health provision...

I wonder whether George Bush and Tony Blair were breastfed with stay-at-home mums or whether they were bottle-fed by nannies? What about Osama or Hitler? I bet Jesus was breastfed, but they probably didn't have baby massage in those days.

Julia

26-Mar-07, 22:21

I breastfed my daughter for 13 months and aim to breastfeed my new son longer than that if I can, hopefully until he is 2 as recommended by the World Health Organistation, I am definitely not the norm, I do not know anyone else who breastfeeds. I spent 7 weeks in one of the maternity wards in Raigmore and in all that time you see a lot of babies come and go, of them all only two mothers breastfed!

In my experience a lot of women have already made up their mind which feeding method they want to adopt before they are even pregnant. It annoys me that some won't even try it!

There is no better way to bond with your baby (IMO), it costs nothing, is best for their digestive system, and totally hassle free!

I don't see how I can go back to work without having to cut back drastically on his feeds once he starts weaning at six months of age, some of you might think I am mad but feeding my baby and bonding with him are more important to me than going back to work.

squidge

27-Mar-07, 08:12

j4bberw0ck - there is no guide to understanding teenagers... my older two are 18 and 16 and one day they are 30 and the next they are 3. Its mad - i try to enjoy the maturity of them whilst rolling my eyes at the childishness of them. They are a delight and I love their company - most of the time lol

HomeFixit

27-Mar-07, 10:56

I breastfed my daughter for 13 months and aim to breastfeed my new son longer than that if I can, hopefully until he is 2 as recommended by the World Health Organistation

... some of you might think I am mad but feeding my baby and bonding with him are more important to me than going back to work.

I don't think you are mad Julia! I'm still feeding my son at 15 months and intend to let him lead the way with weaning. He hardly feeds during the day at all now, mainly just at night, but its been a godsend especially when he had the sick-bug and whenever he's tired or frustrated with life!

I get really annoyed when health professionals advise early weaning. I think maybe sometimes its because they come from a generation where bottle-feeding and weaning by four months were the norm so they have no personal experience about how wonderful it is to breastfeed an older baby. They just seem to ignore the government advice to exclusively breastfeed until 6 months and the WHO advice to carry on breastfeeding until 2 years.

emszxr

27-Mar-07, 11:05