fifilabelle
08-Nov-13, 10:25
Ode to “Big Mama”
The local village known as Reay
is giving press a lot to say
Its residents are all in shock
A murderer has run amok
The public, though, has ‘nowt to fear
no need to buy protective gear
The target wasn’t you or I
but something found inside a sty
Yes, we’re talking pink AND big
and known by all as “Mama Pig”
a rusty trailer isn’t great
for any pig to meet its fate
But die she did, this breeding sow
the questions are just Who? and How?
Did someone from the butcher’s shop
decide that “Mama’s” for the chop?
Suspects made a motley crew
Her pony pals called Pip and Blue
Did either one decide to slash her?
Hoping for a tasty rasher
Perhaps a crazed, psychotic sheep
caused Mama Pig’s eternal sleep
or jealous hogs with mighty sword
just ran her through to claim reward
We just don’t know, we never will
so in the words of Benny Hill........................
“Mama” was only 25(stone), she didn’t want to die
and now she’s just ‘cooked breakfast’ for that deep-freeze in the sky
where the customers are angels and ferocious ‘wogs’ are banned
and a piggy’s life is full of fun in that fairy-dairy land
but a piggy’s brain remembers so Mama hatched a plan
she’d haunt who was responsible for turning her to spam
was that the trees ‘a rustling or the ‘inges of the gate
or Mama’s ghostly gammon a sizzlin’ on the plate
They won’t forget Mama! MaaaaaaMaaaaaa
and she gave the best of bacon in the West
The End
The local village known as Reay
is giving press a lot to say
Its residents are all in shock
A murderer has run amok
The public, though, has ‘nowt to fear
no need to buy protective gear
The target wasn’t you or I
but something found inside a sty
Yes, we’re talking pink AND big
and known by all as “Mama Pig”
a rusty trailer isn’t great
for any pig to meet its fate
But die she did, this breeding sow
the questions are just Who? and How?
Did someone from the butcher’s shop
decide that “Mama’s” for the chop?
Suspects made a motley crew
Her pony pals called Pip and Blue
Did either one decide to slash her?
Hoping for a tasty rasher
Perhaps a crazed, psychotic sheep
caused Mama Pig’s eternal sleep
or jealous hogs with mighty sword
just ran her through to claim reward
We just don’t know, we never will
so in the words of Benny Hill........................
“Mama” was only 25(stone), she didn’t want to die
and now she’s just ‘cooked breakfast’ for that deep-freeze in the sky
where the customers are angels and ferocious ‘wogs’ are banned
and a piggy’s life is full of fun in that fairy-dairy land
but a piggy’s brain remembers so Mama hatched a plan
she’d haunt who was responsible for turning her to spam
was that the trees ‘a rustling or the ‘inges of the gate
or Mama’s ghostly gammon a sizzlin’ on the plate
They won’t forget Mama! MaaaaaaMaaaaaa
and she gave the best of bacon in the West
The End