Emms
24-Dec-06, 00:24
I have previously posted that I was not particularly in the 'festive mood' - but how things can change!.
Christmas, this year, was just something that everyone else was talking about and even although I tried hard to 'take part' for the sake of my family, my heart was never really in it. The reasons for this?; my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and not wanting us to see him suffering in his last days, he simply walked out - vanished into thin air with no trace since. No sightings and no body and no way for us to move on. This has had a tremendous impact upon my family. My mother has gone to South Africa to be with friiends and my sister has gone to Hawaii (with her 6 year old daughter) to work. I felt that I was left behind - just waiting incase there was some news of my father. Then my best friend was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, and three weeks ago, following a dodgy mammogram and dodgy ultrasound, I was told that I may have breast cancer. I was also diagnosed with fibroids and am having an operation at the end of January 2007 to remove them. Festive season? ---- forget it.
Then yesterday morning Murrayfield hospital phoned and said I had Fibroidenoma and not cancer, which was a relief. Within a couple of hours my two daughters arrived with M&S bags stuffed with food and informed me that, as I was working Christmas day, we were going to celebrate it early. They set up the table, cooked the food, told endless jokes, poured endless drinks and said 'having fun is compulsory not an optional extra'. How right they were.
Although there were many empty seats around our table this year (and I couldn't help shedding a tear for the people who could not be with me to celibrate), I suddenly realised that my two daughters,who are 23 and 20, were hurting too. Yet they had arranged Christmas dinner at the drop of a hat - the only way they could demonstrate that we need to stand united as a family. That they love me and need me and I need to be there for them as much as they are for me. 2006 has been awful but 2007 WILL be better.
I have spent the year grieving for what I have lost, rather than appreciating what I still have. Thank-you junior Emms 1 and 2 for giving me a reality check and for making me look foreward to 2007 - whatever that may hold.
And thank you orgers for offering friendship and good wishes throughout my troubles. I have had the most wonderful christmas day and I hope that each and every one of you can have an equally good family-oriented day. Sometimes you have to experience the 'lows' before you can appreciate the 'highs' - what a lesson to be taught by your children. Thanks girls.
Christmas, this year, was just something that everyone else was talking about and even although I tried hard to 'take part' for the sake of my family, my heart was never really in it. The reasons for this?; my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and not wanting us to see him suffering in his last days, he simply walked out - vanished into thin air with no trace since. No sightings and no body and no way for us to move on. This has had a tremendous impact upon my family. My mother has gone to South Africa to be with friiends and my sister has gone to Hawaii (with her 6 year old daughter) to work. I felt that I was left behind - just waiting incase there was some news of my father. Then my best friend was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, and three weeks ago, following a dodgy mammogram and dodgy ultrasound, I was told that I may have breast cancer. I was also diagnosed with fibroids and am having an operation at the end of January 2007 to remove them. Festive season? ---- forget it.
Then yesterday morning Murrayfield hospital phoned and said I had Fibroidenoma and not cancer, which was a relief. Within a couple of hours my two daughters arrived with M&S bags stuffed with food and informed me that, as I was working Christmas day, we were going to celebrate it early. They set up the table, cooked the food, told endless jokes, poured endless drinks and said 'having fun is compulsory not an optional extra'. How right they were.
Although there were many empty seats around our table this year (and I couldn't help shedding a tear for the people who could not be with me to celibrate), I suddenly realised that my two daughters,who are 23 and 20, were hurting too. Yet they had arranged Christmas dinner at the drop of a hat - the only way they could demonstrate that we need to stand united as a family. That they love me and need me and I need to be there for them as much as they are for me. 2006 has been awful but 2007 WILL be better.
I have spent the year grieving for what I have lost, rather than appreciating what I still have. Thank-you junior Emms 1 and 2 for giving me a reality check and for making me look foreward to 2007 - whatever that may hold.
And thank you orgers for offering friendship and good wishes throughout my troubles. I have had the most wonderful christmas day and I hope that each and every one of you can have an equally good family-oriented day. Sometimes you have to experience the 'lows' before you can appreciate the 'highs' - what a lesson to be taught by your children. Thanks girls.