The George W Bush joke thread or Tuesday joke thread

[willowbankbear]

This one may have been posted before, but I liked it & Im posting it so enjoy it.....


George Bush was attending a small classroom of young
> students. The illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a
> "tragedy".
>
> One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on
> a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills
> him, that would be a tragedy".
>
> " No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."
>
> A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children
> drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a
tragedy."
>
> "I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call
> a great loss."
>
> The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched
the
> room, "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a
> tragedy?"
>
> Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand.
> In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs Bush
> was struck by a friendly fire missile and blown to smithereens, that
> would be a tragedy."
>
> "Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why
> that would be a tragedy?"
>
> "Well," said the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly
> wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a flippin
> accident either".

[lin]

:lol:never heard that one before made me laugh[lol]

[Billy Boy]

Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?

A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.

[willowbankbear]

"Did you know former President Garfield could write Latin with one hand and Greek with the other at the same time? That was Garfield.

When President Bush heard about it, he said, 'We had a talking cat for president?'" --Jay Leno

[willowbankbear]

Talking Dog for SaleIn Pulteneytown, a man sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog
for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the
backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just
sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Aye," the dog replies.

"So, what's your crack?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would
be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies eight years
running.

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the
airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible
dealings there and was awarded medals for my work.

"Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.

The owner says, "Ten quid."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"

"Cause he's always lying. He never conned you as well."

[George Brims]

Laura Bush bought "Dubyah" a parrot for his birthday. She told Dick Cheney, "The bird is so smart! George has already taught him to mispronounce over 200 words!"

"Wow, that's pretty impressive," Cheney said. "But you realize that he just 'says' the words. He doesn't understand what they mean."

"That's okay," Laura replied. "Neither does the parrot."

[Kingetter]

BUSH AT THE PEARLY GATES


Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
Saint Peter says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

[Kingetter]

BUSH IMPRESSED BY GOLD URINAL


Before the inauguration, George W. was invited to a 'get acquainted' tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked President Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal! That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal.
"Just think," he said, "when I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!" Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal. That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."