A Poem

[Kingetter]

T A N H A I Y A N



(LONELINESS)

That I should take for ever more the solitary path
And wear unhappiness beneath disguising cloak –
The image of celibacy without its purity -
Is my fate, not a route I would select.
The track I followed while Time's Sands ran through
At unalterable pace, brought me to this barren place.
Before me only dark forbidding clouds with forked light
Flashing messages that warn of worse to come.
A glance behind shows not where I have been - footprints
Quickly covered by wind blown dust that I once was
And will become again - nor at first on either side
A clue to give me form or scope or bearing.


I cross the threshold that should spell freedom
Yet feel the chains still round my feet, the same
Constraints which others do not see nor comprehend.
The scene but repetition of past deception.
This transient existence lacking substance even merit
A passage through that abstract - time
May be but a game of Chess for unknown players
I an inanimate piece upon their board.
That space between conception and cremation, the interlude
Which allows each grain of life to make allotted moves
What plan created so grand a scale?
With such little choice for me?
Convicted, sentenced without trial except that of living
Given not those sought after gifts nor any substitute.
For whom is served by such injustice
May they be well content.
Cloudlike, wandering, blown by each wind of change
En passant, without perspective, abandoned.
Truth and reason found missing when most needed.
Drifting aimlessly towards unknown destiny.
Searching for elusive joy
Seeing Life as game and toy
Feeling pain and anguish
No soothing balm to clear the hurt.
And when this mortal life is done,
The body laid to rest,
What epitaph would serve best?
Tanhaiyan

James.