View Full Version : Make Your Own Conspiracy Theory
pultneytooner
03-Aug-06, 21:32
ten quick and easy steps to your very own conspiracy theory . . . .
1) select historical event, at random.
2) google news articles/documents relating to chosen event, preferably from official/official-looking sources.
3) select, at random, any number of substantiated facts, with references, and links to their website.
4) google substantiated facts, and find any number of kind-of-related/completely unrelated unsubstantiated pseudo-facts/claims, with references.
5) google unsubtantiated claims, and find any number of other completely unrelated/substantiated/unsubstantiated pseudo-facts/claims, with links to their website.
6) invent some dubious logic, completely off the top of your head, linking one fact/pseudo-fact/claim to another fact/pseudo-fact/claim in some kind of half-plausible/completely implausible/completely stupid and illogical kinda way.
7) repeat previous step ad nauseam until such time as it becomes completely impossible to follow the tangled web of implausible /incoherent/just plain idiotic logic supposedly linking one fact/pseudo-fact/claim to another.
8) form nonsensical but earth-shatteringly devastating conclusion from aforementioned tangled web of illogic.
9) completely ignore anything remotely evidenced based that might possibly contradict aforementioned nonsensical but earth-shatteringly devastating conclusion.
10) present to a credible world, and sit back and wait till enough people have repeated the complete uttersh1te you've come up with enough times to make it true.
there you have it! it's a piece of the proverbial warm yellow stuff ain't it? :Dcan have hours of fun!
Kingetter
03-Aug-06, 21:59
That the same way Chancellors create Budgets?
You may mock pultneytooner, but there's plenty of evidence that the HIV virus that leads to AIDS was created in order to advance western (ie white) hegemony at the expense of the third world.
Look here (http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200410/s1216687.htm), here (http://www.geocities.com/newworldorder_themovie/aids.html) and here (http://www.kersplebedeb.com/mystuff/profiles/gilbert/aidsconsp.html), for example, if you think this is not serious. I don't know about anyone else on the Org but I take the claims of Nobel prizewinners seriously.
I have heard it claimed that there are connections to the PNAC and all this involves devious pathways to securing western dominace of oil reserves and production not only in the Middle East but also in other emerging oil-rich states, in Africa for example.
The more I delve into this the more convinced I am that something really bad is happening.
I have long believed that Aids was invented to target black skinned people but it turned out that it struck all skin colours because we are basically all the same under the skin. A serious miscalculation for those who perpetrated this atrocity. I will read your sites and ponder.
Dreadnought
04-Aug-06, 07:40
Here follows the reason for all the ills of the world:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/Minitar1/OddsnSods/WhitehousePentagram2.jpg
I don't know about anyone else on the Org but I take the claims of Nobel prizewinners seriously.
"Whoever stands for a just cause and fights for the freedom and liberation of his land from the invaders, settlers and colonialists cannot possibly be called a terrorist."
Yasser Arafat
Here follows the reason for all the ills of the world:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v223/Minitar1/OddsnSods/WhitehousePentagram2.jpg
The town planners fouled up big style, it isn't even an equilateral pentagram based on a circle. I guess its aesthetic/spiritual qualities have been nullified...
Lolabelle
04-Aug-06, 09:16
ten quick and easy steps to your very own conspiracy theory . . . .
1) select historical event, at random.
2) google news articles/documents relating to chosen event, preferably from official/official-looking sources.
3) select, at random, any number of substantiated facts, with references, and links to their website.
4) google substantiated facts, and find any number of kind-of-related/completely unrelated unsubstantiated pseudo-facts/claims, with references.
5) google unsubtantiated claims, and find any number of other completely unrelated/substantiated/unsubstantiated pseudo-facts/claims, with links to their website.
6) invent some dubious logic, completely off the top of your head, linking one fact/pseudo-fact/claim to another fact/pseudo-fact/claim in some kind of half-plausible/completely implausible/completely stupid and illogical kinda way.
7) repeat previous step ad nauseam until such time as it becomes completely impossible to follow the tangled web of implausible /incoherent/just plain idiotic logic supposedly linking one fact/pseudo-fact/claim to another.
8) form nonsensical but earth-shatteringly devastating conclusion from aforementioned tangled web of illogic.
9) completely ignore anything remotely evidenced based that might possibly contradict aforementioned nonsensical but earth-shatteringly devastating conclusion.
10) present to a credible world, and sit back and wait till enough people have repeated the complete uttersh1te you've come up with enough times to make it true.
there you have it! it's a piece of the proverbial warm yellow stuff ain't it? :Dcan have hours of fun!
This sounds very much like the "who, what, when, where and why" steps that I use when writing. Great when I've got a mental block with a "what on earth am I trying to do?" moment.
Back in the spring of 2001, the UK Government announced an obligation to cut carbon dioxide emissions under the directions of the Kyoto agreement. Under the then non-ratified agreement, provisions were written into the agreement to enable Nation States to justify their existing CO2 emissions if they could prove that they had made land-use changes so as to promote CO2 uptake eg the planting of forests etc. The policing of such provisions would be feasible via revolutionary camera technology which would be mounted onboard a satellite which was due to be launched in two years time. This satellite could recognise the type of land type, rain forest, desert, bogland etc.
The Blair Government seized on this opportunity and secretly plotted to turn uphill grazing land into forests, both the Ministry of Agriculture and the head of the forestry commission saw great benefits in this. Firstly, uphill farm subsidies were bleeding the treasury dry and the FC would gain greater importance within the British economy.
The aim was to put uphill farmers out of business by cutting subsidies even further and also to persuade farmers to leave farming altogether. This was to be enabled by the intentional introduction of Foot and mouth disease across much of Cumbria, Northumbria and Devon by teams of hired illegal immigrants trading in infected sheep which originated from former Eastern block countries and brought in via the EU.
It was calculated that Britain could justify the emission of an extra 27 million tonnes of CO2, almost a third of existing emissions. Due to the immoral nature of the methods employed, the fledgling Scotttish Executive was not included in the idea as it was thought that Scotland would be self sufficient in renewable energy by 2020 and that Scottish ministers were considered a security risk if the methods employed were made public, hence, no outbreak of F&M was recorded in Scotland in 2001.
The hiring of illegals to do the work would provide a handy escape goat if the real circumstances were unearthed.
During the outbreak, it was important for the Government to discredit those farmers who refused to take the compensation to leave farming by launching a bad press campaign about illegal livestock movements and to gain Public support for the Government. However, things backfired as the Government had to face difficult criticism of its own department, MAFF. Public opinion turned against the Government and it eventually had to shelve plans to clear the designated areas and they were forced to pay farmers handsomely to restock.
The final straw came for the Government's plans came when the said US/UK funded satellite crashed in September 2003.
It is only a matter of time until they rebuild the satellite...[para] :Razz
I think that the failure of the scheme has forced the Government in going down the Nuclear/Wind farm option as a last resort to meet its Kyoto obligations.
What about the Ribena Conspiracy?
A few months ago they had a game that you couldn't lose.. if you had a certain coloured straw you won a certain prize. Most of the prizes were Blackcurrant plants (probably genetically modified strains) but, all you had to do was send in your straw with your name and address and age.
Glaxo-Smith-bloomin'-Kline collecting DNA samples off these straws I tell ya![para] Gettin' us all databased up.[lol]
Has anyone heard the one that says that research into reduced intelligence levels in inner city children which led to the introduction of lead free petrol was suspect and we needn't have changed all those car engines to run on lead free petrol for that reason alone?
The other one which may have more substance is that the investigation which identified aluminium cooking utensils as a cause of altzheimers was flawed by sloppy sampling practice in the laboratory and that our saucepans are safe after all!
That of course sounds more like the standard cock up rather than the truly original and fascinating myth or legend which can be passed down through the generations like the Russian soldiers who were supposed to have come down the north railway line still with snow on their boots from their landing at Scapa sometime during the First World War.
Has anyone heard the one that says that research into reduced intelligence levels in inner city children which led to the introduction of lead free petrol was suspect and we needn't have changed all those car engines to run on lead free petrol for that reason alone?
The other one which may have more substance is that the investigation which identified aluminium cooking utensils as a cause of altzheimers was flawed by sloppy sampling practice in the laboratory and that our saucepans are safe after all!
That of course sounds more like the standard cock up rather than the truly original and fascinating myth or legend which can be passed down through the generations like the Russian soldiers who were supposed to have come down the north railway line still with snow on their boots from their landing at Scapa sometime during the First World War.
Sounds like a blending of conspiracy theory and urban myth. Bet that makes a good summer drink too.
Rheggers, you didn't follow any of steps 2 through 5. You're slipping...
You may mock pultneytooner, but there's plenty of evidence that the HIV virus that leads to AIDS was created in order to advance western (ie white) hegemony at the expense of the third world.
Look here (http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200410/s1216687.htm), here (http://www.geocities.com/newworldorder_themovie/aids.html) and here (http://www.kersplebedeb.com/mystuff/profiles/gilbert/aidsconsp.html), for example, if you think this is not serious. I don't know about anyone else on the Org but I take the claims of Nobel prizewinners seriously.
I have heard it claimed that there are connections to the PNAC and all this involves devious pathways to securing western dominace of oil reserves and production not only in the Middle East but also in other emerging oil-rich states, in Africa for example.
The more I delve into this the more convinced I am that something really bad is happening.Despite the common belief that AIDS and HIV suddenly appeared in the 1980s cases can be traced back to as early as the 1950s.
It was only when it started getting close to the poor dears in Hollywood that a great deal of fuss and publicity was created about it.
I hope you weren't taking my post seriously JAWS! I simply followed Pultneytooner's recipe.
There's some good stuff on the site (http://www.geocities.com/newworldorder_themovie/) which hosts the second link I posted above. I rather liked this one (http://www.geocities.com/newworldorder_themovie/intro_mindcontrol.html).
I hope you weren't taking my post seriously JAWS! I simply followed Pultneytooner's recipe.
There's some good stuff on the site (http://www.geocities.com/newworldorder_themovie/) which hosts the second link I posted above. I rather liked this one (http://www.geocities.com/newworldorder_themovie/intro_mindcontrol.html).
Well, I took you seriously, but I suspect that JAWS is continuing the spoof.
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