Kingetter
01-Aug-06, 09:43
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and
improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs, dances and plays the summer
away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the
cold.
The End
THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs, dances and plays the summer away.
Come Winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference
and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well
fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and
starving.
The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a
table laden with food.
The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a
country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while
others have plenty.
The Labor Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of
Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The ABC,
interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking news,
broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing 'We Shall Overcome'.
Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that the squirrel has
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers and calls for an immediate tax hike
on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share' and increases the charge
for squirrels to enter the Melbourne city centre.
In response to pressure from the media, the government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the
beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken
to court and fined for not hiring grasshoppers as builders for the work he
was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the
court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish
it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially
mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and redistributed to the more needy
members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly
imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building
a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as
a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to
Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On
arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians' apparent
love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and
attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them
pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to return
them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would
face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money
from people's credit cards.
A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the
squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council
house he is in crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain
it. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is
blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since
their arrival in Australia.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to
get money for his drug habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately
because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of
the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he
has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10,000,000 and state
the obvious, is set up.
Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is
increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for
enriching Australia's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by
the government for not befriending the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press
blame it on the government obviously not addressing the root causes of
despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of
prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million dollars each because their rights were
infringed when the government did not inform them that there were mice in
Australia.
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the
burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their
credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and
order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a
shortfall in government funds.
The End
improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs, dances and plays the summer
away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the
cold.
The End
THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs, dances and plays the summer away.
Come Winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference
and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well
fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and
starving.
The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a
table laden with food.
The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a
country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while
others have plenty.
The Labor Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of
Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The ABC,
interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with breaking news,
broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing 'We Shall Overcome'.
Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that the squirrel has
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers and calls for an immediate tax hike
on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share' and increases the charge
for squirrels to enter the Melbourne city centre.
In response to pressure from the media, the government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the
beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken
to court and fined for not hiring grasshoppers as builders for the work he
was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the
court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish
it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially
mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and redistributed to the more needy
members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly
imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building
a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as
a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to
Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On
arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians' apparent
love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and
attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them
pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to return
them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would
face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money
from people's credit cards.
A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the
squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council
house he is in crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain
it. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is
blamed for the grasshopper's drug 'illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since
their arrival in Australia.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to
get money for his drug habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately
because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of
the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he
has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10,000,000 and state
the obvious, is set up.
Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is
increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for
enriching Australia's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by
the government for not befriending the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press
blame it on the government obviously not addressing the root causes of
despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of
prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million dollars each because their rights were
infringed when the government did not inform them that there were mice in
Australia.
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the
burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their
credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and
order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a
shortfall in government funds.
The End