View Full Version : Beards
John Little
13-Apr-10, 21:28
So my wife said to me this morning that I have a face like sandpaper when I gave her a wee kiss. Well I told her that it was partly her fault because of the electric razor she bought me and which I use because it is quicker than a wet shave,
Did ye ever see a microscope picture of shaved beard close up?
With an electric shaver the ends of the whiskers are all ragged and torn and with a wet shave it's a clean cut.
Can I help it if I have a beard like desperate Dan?
I think he used an angle-grinder to keep smooth.
I could of course grow a beard. I did try it once but the end product made me look like one of thoise pictures you see of evil mediaeval Kings and it was most discouraging.
If I did have a beard it would probably now be all grey and I should look like an aging hippy. But of course beards are not particularly fashionable these days.
They used to be of course but they died as a fashion in the 1920s. Apparently there was am anti-beard turn in the papers and people began to take the mickey out of people who had beards.
Children used to run after men with beards shouting 'BEAVER' at them and gradually they were shamed into being clean shaven.
So I shall stay clean shaven despite my wife's reservations- but I wondered about the prevalence of beards on the forum and how they are regarded.
Herself thinks she does not like them as they tickle.
So- what dya think? Any aging hippies out there?
I do not know why you think beards are out of fashion. You only need to watch TV to most men are sporting a designer stubble. Even the Makers of Shaving Equipment have special Razors to keep your beard or designer stubble neat and tidy. If they are going to the expence of this then Beards are definately in fashion.
I myself have had a Full Beard since 1974 and although it is now white Mrs Kodiak still says that if I ever shave it off then she will divorce me. So fashionable or not I will keep mine. :D
I've noticed over the years academics often have beards (particularly the ones on dodgy '70s Open University programmes).
I just wonder, is it to make them look intellegent or do they not know how to shave? :lol:
DeHaviLand
13-Apr-10, 21:51
I've noticed over the years academics often have beards (particularly the ones on dodgy '70s Open University programmes).
I just wonder, is it to make them look intellegent or do they not know how to shave? :lol:
I have a beard, so that dispels the looking intelligent theory :eek:
John Little
13-Apr-10, 21:53
"I just wonder, is it to make them look intellegent or do they not know how to shave?"
Lots of folk singers have beards too .....
"I just wonder, is it to make them look intellegent or do they not know how to shave?"
Lots of folk singers have beards too .....
And bikers of the very dodgy variety :eek:
Shhh I'll find out....
Oy! Tubthumper do you have beard?
John Little
13-Apr-10, 21:58
What sort of beards do you think conspiracy theorists have?
John Little
13-Apr-10, 22:12
Well there's your orange-tawney beard, your purple-in-grain beard, your straw coloured beard, your French crown colour beard - your perfect yellow....
I like my hubby to have a beard as it covers up his wrinkles [lol][lol]
I love beards!!! They are the most manly thing ever....just ace. Think I actually have a fetish :)
ShelleyCowie
13-Apr-10, 22:48
My OH had a goatie when i met him, he was 25 when i met him. he is now 28 and has a full beard :lol: But i actually like it. Liked the goatie too. I absolutely hated facial hair on men before i met him, but he really suits it and i couldnt see him without it now. Probably wouldnt fancy him anymore [lol]
But he maybe shaves (trims) the beard once every few months. But i have warned him he is not allowed to grow it really long. He wanted a wee pleat :roll:
I've grown a beard many times, however, as the hairline has receded then the beard is now a big no-no. Rather miss having one, they are quite handy for storing excess food, just flick the tongue down when you're peckish, and they're also make good facewarmers in the winter. :)
my oh did have a beard once but i could not stand giving him a kiss its clean shaven men for me and the splash it all over bit leaves a lovely smell
Tubthumper
13-Apr-10, 23:04
The question's asked, have I got beard
I think that's very sad
An ageing lady like myself
Hirsute of chin like lad?
I am posessed of chin that's cleared
Of whiskers and of stubbly beard
I pluck out each that has appeared
So does that make me bad?
Who on our org might have a chin
That's covered up with moss
Who of our pals that post a lot
Hides food amongst the dross
Now I consider on our board
One bloke that just can't be ignored
That's Drunken Duck who high has soared
Of Nimrod he was boss
Then Little John who says he's clean
His chin looks like fresh bap
His wife's chapped thighs won't stand the itch
She gave him such a slap
And packed him off to have a shave
An ultimatum woman gave
No fun for matrimonial slave
The poor wee hen-pecked chap
Ducati rides a motorbike
In every kind of weather
He likes to dress with chains and stuff
To decorate his leather
He's Judas Priesties greatest fan
Gets dressed right up when'er he can
Like Village People biker man
Gets tickled with a feather
But maybe Fred has chin of hair
And beard in which you could
Conceal a bear of medium size
If close to chest it stood
In band he plays piano hot
His whiskers covered in fresh snot
Get stuck in keys and jam the lot
And surely spoil the mood
But back to me, a damsel fair
Before we come to blows
I wear clean pants, I wax my legs
Put polish on my toes
What makes you think I have some hair
That sticks right out of anywhere
(Apart from those that hide down there)
Except from out my nose
Kevin Milkins
13-Apr-10, 23:08
I love beards!!! They are the most manly thing ever....just ace. Think I actually have a fetish :)
Now this concerns me, I quite like Fatima Whitbread and Susan Boyle.:roll:
Tubthumper
13-Apr-10, 23:16
Another question has been posed
Conspiracy theorist beard
Just what decorum of the face
Are worn by people weird
Do they all wear a grassy knoll
A 9-11 building fall
Or tinfoil hat to cover all
From alien signals feared
The question's asked, have I got beard
I think that's very sad
An ageing lady like myself
Hirsute of chin like lad?
I am posessed of chin that's cleared
Of whiskers and of stubbly beard
I pluck out each that has appeared
So does that make me bad?
Who on our org might have a chin
That's covered up with moss
Who of our pals that post a lot
Hides food amongst the dross
Now I consider on our board
One bloke that just can't be ignored
That's Drunken Duck who high has soared
Of Nimrod he was boss
Then Little John who says he's clean
His chin looks like fresh bap
His wife's chapped thighs won't stand the itch
She gave him such a slap
And packed him off to have a shave
An ultimatum woman gave
No fun for matrimonial slave
The poor wee hen-pecked chap
Ducati rides a motorbike
In every kind of weather
He likes to dress with chains and stuff
To decorate his leather
He's Judas Priesties greatest fan
Gets dressed right up when'er he can
Like Village People biker man
Gets tickled with a feather
But maybe Fred has chin of hair
And beard in which you could
Conceal a bear of medium size
If close to chest it stood
In band he plays piano hot
His whiskers covered in fresh snot
Get stuck in keys and jam the lot
And surely spoil the mood
But back to me, a damsel fair
Before we come to blows
I wear clean pants, I wax my legs
Put polish on my toes
What makes you think I have some hair
That sticks right out of anywhere
(Apart from those that hide down there)
Except from out my nose
Tubthumper you are a very naughty er ........;)[lol]
Boozeburglar
13-Apr-10, 23:23
If I did have a beard it would probably now be all grey and I should look like an aging hippy. But of course beards are not particularly fashionable these days.
They used to be of course but they died as a fashion in the 1920s.
I think ye'll find hirsuteness is the order of the day amongsy the young folks at the mo.
Tubthumper
13-Apr-10, 23:26
Boozeburglar has a chin of steel
There's no sign of a sprout
He's quite a chap, stands strong and proud
But just a little stout
Employed as Batman's hardy minder
Facial hair? He'll always find 'er
Shave it off with angle grinder
Keeps his sexy pout
Tubthumper
13-Apr-10, 23:28
Young Shelley Bain's devoid of beard
Unless I've got it wrong
She keeps her hair in tip-top shape
Not short, but not too long
The problem is elastic straps
When she bends down to fright the chaps
By showing off her bottom baps
And tiny little thong
Boozeburglar
13-Apr-10, 23:31
Nope Tubes, I am a beardy all right.
Wife complains, but when she shaves her's I will shave mine.
;)
I’m a serial beard wearer.
I shave one off and start growing another.
Other times it’s just cos it has a few stray cornflakes lodged in it.
Boozeburglar
13-Apr-10, 23:33
Is that not a cereal beard then?
Tubthumper
13-Apr-10, 23:33
I got it wrong, I'm very sad
I sometimes make wee boobs
But did you have to spoil it all
By naming me as 'tubes'
I know that I am strong and tough
If it was error fair enough
But I think that was very rough
About as bad as 'Tchyoubs'!
:~(
Is that not a cereal beard then?
Yea that was the spell check i was intending...lol
Tubthumper
13-Apr-10, 23:36
There's dafi over Orkney way
He keeps a covered face
He has to since he left his home
In nameless mainland place
He has amazing undead power
In mirror he is known to glower
Hatched, they say, in dark P*rtg*wer
But left without a trace
Tubthumper
13-Apr-10, 23:41
Clean-shaven is another pal
Who's named Bobinovich
He keeps his chin like baby's erse
With moisturiser rich
And when he's keeping weather eye
On Shelley's car when, by and by
She bends and shows her assets, why
You can't tell which is which
Clean-shaven is another pal
Who's named Bobinovich
He keeps his chin like baby's erse
With moisturiser rich
And when he's keeping weather eye
On Shelley's car when, by and by
She bends and shows her assets, why
You can't tell which is which
:eek::eek::eek:
Tubthumper
13-Apr-10, 23:44
Too far Ducati??
Too far Ducati??
I don't know but I suspect shelley will tell ya in a minute :mad:
Tubthumper
14-Apr-10, 00:01
Ducati is unhappy as
His secret is released
About the leather gear he wears
And how his 'tache is greased
Before he goes to special pub
That's known as the Blue Oyster Club
Upon his chin some oil he'll rub
For YMCA feast
My secrets out, its mine to shout
Blue Oyster is for me
Leather gear is all I wear
Oil and sequines in my hair
Chaps n waistc't, nipple rings
An all kinds of wierd things
Out of closet, end of strife
just, fer gawds sake, don't tell the wife
David Banks
14-Apr-10, 01:34
Well, I'm a beardie and have had one since I could grow one. The first couple of tries were somewhat disappointing with their bare spots.
My first grey hairs showed up in my beard when I was still in my 20's in Edinburgh, before I moved to Alberta.
For a while, because of humid Ontario summers, I went to a goatee for the extra cooling.
Now, I'm back to a full facial fungus. They do make great face warmers in the winter, and I just keep it shorter for summer. Oh, Canada.
P.S. After a little time, I find they grow on you.
Lots of IT guys, geeks and gamers have beards, especially if you work with Linux. They've always been popular in our subculture.
I'd grow one, if I could but alas no, I can grow a mighty neck-beard but thats about it.
Also
10 reasons why you should grow a beard (http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/)
Beard with a beard (http://www.thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=253)
i want one but am not allowed one!! Though i dinna shave at all when im at work for a fortnight (apart fae the night before i go home!)
I HATE SHAVING!
The fair tubthumper has no beard
Well this is so, as I have heard
He doesn’t shave it would appear
She only Veets her feet and calfs
But never does anything by half’s
Except for gender, which is strange
Maybe wrong and may be right
Appears to be hermaphrodite :eek:
John Little
14-Apr-10, 11:28
Tubthumper is the Org’s main poet
And by her words we all know it
Today she’s turned her muse to beard
Which was indeed just what I feared
But begs the question of her hairy chin
Which on a lady is no sin
If this was her diagnosis
She’d go to t’clinic for electrolysis.
Of several orgers she’s made a guess
On who is sporting face fungus
The first who had this bad luck
Was an ex flyboy – Drunken Duck.
This cannot be so, for in the great scheme
To have a beard covered in Brylcreem
Causes RAF Cos to be ranters and railers
Moss-chin is a perquisite of sailors.
John’s face does not look much like bread
But he thinks you may be right about Fred
Whose beard is possibly long and hairy,
Full of deep thought, outrageously airy,
Keen in argument to find many flaws
He probably looks like Santa Clause
But you’ve got Ducati bang on’t nail
He’s an all-weather biker – hearty and hail!
Tubs wears clean pants to tell the truth
But offers no evidence – so give us the proof
If in an accident would you get snickers
When the medics saw your dirty knickers?
To wax your pins instead of shave
Is to many a virtue – very brave
But to join the ranks of Alba’s heroes
I feel you must wax more – up your nose
Tubthumper’s verse is very scary
But it’s not of beards that I am lairy
The matter on which I would really care
Is the gruesome sight of armpit hair
Which on a guy is natural and right
But on Tubthumper would be a hell of a fright
So tell us Tubs – are your pits clean and bare?
Or do you never shave under there?
I GET ZAPPED AN DENIED JUST FOR HAVING A BRISTLE!
Mind ye I can remember my dad giving me a 'beardie' when I was a bairn, so if thats so ,then it must be a bit prickly on sensitive parts.Better stop when I am ahead I think.
Why cultivate on your face something that grows with wild abandon elsewhere on your body!!
ShelleyCowie
14-Apr-10, 20:07
Young Shelley Bain's devoid of beard
Unless I've got it wrong
She keeps her hair in tip-top shape
Not short, but not too long
The problem is elastic straps
When she bends down to fright the chaps
By showing off her bottom baps
And tiny little thong
Lol your lucky i like you, i could take complete offence to that. But i wont, cos i laughed! ;)
Lots of IT guys, geeks and gamers have beards, especially if you work with Linux. They've always been popular in our subculture.
I'd grow one, if I could but alas no, I can grow a mighty neck-beard but thats about it.
Also
10 reasons why you should grow a beard (http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/)
Beard with a beard (http://www.thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=253)
Funny you should say that, My OH is an IT guy, geek and gamer all rolled into one :roll: but gosh i really do like the beard :D
John Little
14-Apr-10, 22:22
"Why cultivate on your face something that grows with wild abandon elsewhere on your body!!"
http://forum.caithness.org/images/buttons/quote.gif (http://forum.caithness.org/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=691344)
Well because it does not grow with wild abandon on the top of the head in many cases. Like 85% of all men I am follicularly challenged to some degree. Gravity pulls it out through the chin instead of where it ought to be...
Men sporting beards have something to hide....................their face!
Most women don't actually mind a well-trimmed goatee or even a day or two's stubble but a full grown facial fuzz is a definite no-no. You never know what is lurking in the depths and the idea of getting jiggy with a full-bearded boyo would turn off the most adventurous burd.
Tubthumper
14-Apr-10, 23:49
Most women don't actually mind a well-trimmed goatee or even a day or two's stubble but a full grown facial fuzz is a definite no-no. You never know what is lurking in the depths and the idea of getting jiggy with a full-bearded boyo would turn off the most adventurous burd.
I don't know, I'm quite warm-blooded, and I find a man with a beard a bit interesting. Doesn't half itch though!
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