Joke

[DaScout]

has anyone got a good joke . ill start

knock knock
whos there
boo
boo who
what you crying about i got cake and ice cream down here!!!!!!

beat that*

[Funky_Foal]

there was a big tall man at a bar
and a little small man comes in
he says i wouldnt mind some of that
after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
good aint it

[Funky_Foal]

there was a big tall man at a bar
and a little small man comes in
he says i wouldnt mind some of that
after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
good aint it

What were you thinking

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Madam

Madam who?

Madam foots stuck in the door.

[Funky_Foal]

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Madam

Madam who?

Madam foots stuck in the door.

ha ha where did you get that one?

[DaScout]

there was a big tall man at a bar
and a little small man comes in
he says i wouldnt mind some of that
after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
good aint it

that is complete and utter tripe

[Funky_Foal]

that is complete and utter tripe

well your one isnt that good either!!!!!

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Knock Knock

Whos there?

Hufta

Hufta who?

Hufta pee,can I use your toilet.

[Billy Boy]

How many goths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they'd rather be in the darkness.

[pultneytooner]

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."

The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

[Billy Boy]

How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to hold the bulb against the socket, and the other to smoke up until the room starts spinning.

[Funky_Foal]

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. after a few more he needs the toilet. he doesnt want anyone to steal his beer so he puts up a sign saying "I spat in this beer do not drink". a few minutes later he returns and sees another sign beside it saying "So did I".

[sam]

An old woman walks into a doctors office.She says "My farts don't stink and they make no sound." The doctor give her pills and tells her to come back in a week.A week later she comes back and says "My farts stink but they still don't make a sound"
The doctors turns to his nurse and says "The sinus pills worked but now she needs a hearing aid"

[coastown]

knock knock
whos there
adair
adair who
adair once but now im bald.



knock knock
whos there
acid
acid who
acid down and be quiet.

[Carlo Gambino]

What does deputy P.M John Prescott & an Homebase flatpack have in common?

A few screws in the wrong place & the whole cabinet falls apart

[angela5]

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

[angela5]

There was once a blonde girl named Sally. Her husband was at work, and to entertain herself, she decided to do a puzzle.
Her husband came home later to find his wife angry and breathing hard at the table.
"What is it?" he asked.
"I'm trying to do this stupid puzzle! It's supposed to be a tiger!" she replied.
The husband looked at the puzzle, sighed, and said,"Sally, dear, put the frosted flakes back in the box!"

[angela5]

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

[willowbankbear]

How many Dounreay scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they dont need lightbulbs-they all glow in the dark

[angela5]

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."