Computers - male or female?

[badger]

Apologies if you've already heard this one. I just had it from a friend.

THE GENDER OF THE COMPUTER

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine (e.g. "House" is feminine, "la maison"; "Pencil" is masculine, "le crayon"). A student asked, "What gender is a computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups -- male and female -- and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other Computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for immediate later retrieval.... and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem and....

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

(The women won)

[Billy Boy]

my one is deffinitely female it's very temperamental, worse at certain time's of the month when you would swear it was possessed

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

My computer is definetly male,cos everytime it asks me if I want to log on.I have to go upstairs to try.Must be the male humour.

[Kenn]

Good one, how about this,
A French teacher was asked why an armchair is masculine and a wooden chair feminine.
She replied quick as a flash, "Because the male always takes the soft option!"

[Doolally]

Well my computer is most definately female cos the off button doesn't work all that well.

[Highland Laddie]

Same here, only starts up when it's good and ready, and then won't stop when i want it to.

[Whitewater]

Brilliant badger, I enjoyed that, you convinced me that my one is female.

[angela5]

"Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"


"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.


"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"


"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"


"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's
because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked
now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."