Start of the week LOLOLOL

[grantyg]

He spent all his money on a sleek new Mercedes roadster and was
out on the motorway for an evening cruise. The top was down, the breeze
was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the
needle jumped up to 80mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.

'There's no way they can catch me,' he thought to himself and
opened her up further. The needle hit 130, with the lights still behind him. 'What on earth am I doing?' he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his licence and examined it.
'Listen mate,' said the cop. 'I've had a tough shift and this is
my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give
me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go!

'Last week my wife ran off with a cop,' the man said, 'and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!'

'Have a nice night', said the officer.

[grantyg]

There once was a lady who had identical twin boys, named Amal and Juan.
She could not care for them so she gave them up for adoption. One couple adopted Juan and moved to Spain.
Another couple adopted Amal and moved to Iraq.
Ten years later Juan sent his birth mother a letter and a picture of himself.
The mother told her husband she wished Amal would send her a picture too. The husband said, "Well, when you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal"!!!

[grantyg]

A chicken walks into a book store and says, "Book book book book book book." The person at the desk hands a book to the chicken and the chicken walks out. The next day the chicken walks into the book store again and says, "Book book book book book book." The person at the desk hands a book to the chicken and the chicken walks out. The same thing happens over and over and over through the week. The person at the desk starts to wonder what the chicken is doing with the books and he finally decides to follow the chicken next time. The next day the chicken walks into the store and says, "Book book book book book book." The guy behind the desk hands the chicken a book and the chicken walks out. The man follows the chicken into a forest with a long twisty path, after walking for a while the man comes to a pond and he sees the chicken and a frog. The chicken drops the book and says, "Book book book book book book." Then the frog says, "Read it, read it."