Monday funnies

[willowbankbear]

Amazingly,When Wick Academy found themselves at the top of the Highland league one season due to the star strikers goal scoring. Eager to keep hm at the club,the Manager called him into the office one day halfway through the season.

`Well done son`said the boss.`Heres a token of our appreciation` then handed the striker a cheque for £5000.
`Cheers Boss,this really means a lot to me` replied the hero.
`Pleased to hear it son` says the manager,`and if you keep it up, the chairman might even sign it for you`

[willowbankbear]

This former International football player was tragically killed & arriving at heaven met the angel on duty at the gates.

`Is there any reason why you should not be allowed to enter the kingdom of Heaven?` asked the angel.

"Well .said the footballer, there was this 1 time when I cheated in an International match`

`I see, tell me about it then ` said the Angel

"Well said the footballer, I was playing for Scotland against England & used my hand to punch the ball into the net for a goal`.

`And what was the final score?`

"That was the only goal" said the player"we won 1-0"

`Well thats not too bad.I think we`ll let you in`said the Angel

"Oh great,thats been on my mind for years,thankyou very much st George!"

`Thats okay,said the Angel as he ushered the player in,`oh and by the way,its st George`s day off ,Im St Andrew`.