Domestic abuse.

[cuddlepop]

I see Northern Constabulary are highlighting this issue from now till the end of January so hopefully "women" will feel safer this festive season.

I know men too are abused but its a woman that statistically will suffer at the hands of a male abuser.

How do you think we could educate our children to respect one another and not result to violence of any kind?

Does it start in primary,is that too early for them to understand?
If your brought up by an abusive father does that make you except it and or dish it out?

[changilass]

Having abuse around as a kid is no bliddy excuse to carry it out as an adult.

If more folks took responsibility for their own actions there would be less violence all round.

It is taught is schools, its the bit about bullying, making it gender specific doesn't help.

A bully is a bully no matter of age or gender.

Its just more prevelant at this time of year with the addition of alcohol.

[Metalattakk]

Nice one changi, you dismiss one sweeping generalisation only to throw in another at the end.

face/palm

[changilass]

The addition of alcohol leeding to more abuse aint a generalisation its a fact. Check stats with any police force.

[cuddlepop]

Whether or not alcohol is to blame is not what I'm asking its how do we educate this generation thats its wrong to inflict violence as a means of control?.

I use violence in a "general" term for abuse.

[Moira]

Here is a website which might be worth perusing including a link for men facing domestic abuse.
http://www.famouspeople.org.uk/14

[Metalattakk]

The addition of alcohol leeding to more abuse aint a generalisation its a fact. Check stats with any police force.

It may well be a fact, but it is still a sweeping generalisation. Alcohol does not lead to domestic violence.

[changilass]

There was something on the radio the other day about putting something on the curriculum to help stop domestic abuse, but how exactly they are gonna do it 'I aint sure. (btw I think this was prob England and Wales only)

Surely if it was as simple as that it would have been done afore?

[Rheghead]

I think people should undergo personality profiling in order to gain a licence which allows them to buy and consume alcohol. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen certain people just visibly turn nasty in drink whilst there are some people who remain well mannered and placid no matter how much they drink alcohol. Big brother? You betcha.

[joxville]

I'm asking its how do we educate this generation thats its wrong to inflict violence as a means of control?.

Beat it into them.

[teenybash]

I believe children and young people are influenced quite a bit by what they watch on tv, video games etc and this could be a starting point in teaching or showing them to be more respectful and that life is not about talking smart and acting tough. At least it would be somewhere to begin, but would the programme and game makers go along with cleaning up their end.
And what can be done about the happenings behind closed doors....the world of the parents, who live their lives abusing each other and the children hearing or witnessing events.

Who knows the answer or even where to begin rebuilding decent values into our broken society. Maybe instead of gloryfying violence and watching it as entertainment we should see it for what it really is...abhorrent and teach the children to view it as this also.
We do our children great harm by not protecting their minds and allowing them to be exploited and used, turning them into future abusers, including domestic.

[cuddlepop]

With my daughter in law pregnant she's been advised to go to parent craft classes before and after the child is born.

I've never been to any so enlighten me if I'm wrong,is that where they tell you how to bring up a child "by the book" ?

Now if this is the case then that wee one should never hear a raised voiced,be physically restrained or smacked by the person attending the class and/or anyone else that they try to "train".

Do these classes need to be compulsory?

That wont stop the "mental abuse" though as some people just need to make others feel inferior.

[tonkatojo]

Beat it into them.

Jox were you my headmaster at Shiremoor college of knowledge ??.

[joxville]

Jox were you my headmaster at Shiremoor college of knowledge ??.

Yes. A darn good thrashing never done anyone any harm

Now sit down before I tan your hide again.

[tonkatojo]

This would test most. LOL.


A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the
older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the
youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he
turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest
with me - is our youngest son my child?"
The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your
son."
With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God
he didn't ask about the other three."

[trix]

Domestic Abuse Liason Officer
PC985 Katie Hunter
contact through Dornoch Police Station
01862 810 222

Mens Aid (www.mensaid.com)
0871 223 9986

Domestic Abuse helpline
0800 027 1234 - 24 oers

[Rheghead]

I do think that everyone has their limit no matter who they are as to what they can take verbally off their partner. Abuse takes many forms and to some extent, physical abuse is easier to shake off than mental torture. Take for instance the mild-mannered husband who loves his wife to bits, but that is not enough for her because she needs a little excitement or whatever. So she has affairs and spends money which they don't have and nags at him for not being a big enough man to stand up to her but the bloke won't do anything because he loves his wife and kids so much he can't bare to leave the home, and she flippin knows that as well. This can go on for years until the gentle giant snaps and puts her in the hospital and it is him who gets sent down. Now I ask you in all honesty, who was the evil one in that relationship?

[teddybear1873]

I do think that everyone has their limit no matter who they are as to what they can take verbally off their partner. Abuse takes many forms and to some extent, physical abuse is easier to shake off than mental torture. Take for instance the mild-mannered husband who loves his wife to bits, but that is not enough for her because she needs a little excitement or whatever. So she has affairs and spends money which they don't have and nags at him for not being a big enough man to stand up to her but the bloke won't do anything because he loves his wife and kids so much he can't bare to leave the home, and she flippin knows that as well. This can go on for years until the gentle giant snaps and puts her in the hospital and it is him who gets sent down. Now I ask you in all honesty, who was the evil one in that relationship?

Well he's the guilty one but he aint the evil one, but he's soft and an idiot for not standing up to her and sorting out whatever the problems were in the begining.

What most people don't relise is, there's a difference between action an reaction. Action would have ment he would have did what was right in the begining, whether it was counseling, standing for himself etc. Reaction is an emotion that is a build up that you don't have control over. Is this man evil? Probebly not. My question is, why do people wait to breaking point?

If my wife treated me like that I would throw her clothes oot the window, show her the door and tell her don't hit her erse on the way oot when she closes the door.

[Rheghead]

My question is, why do people wait to breaking point?

Because some people don't like confrontation, surely that's not a bad thing?

[Scorpio12thNov]

I do think that everyone has their limit no matter who they are as to what they can take verbally off their partner. Abuse takes many forms and to some extent, physical abuse is easier to shake off than mental torture. Take for instance the mild-mannered husband who loves his wife to bits, but that is not enough for her because she needs a little excitement or whatever. So she has affairs and spends money which they don't have and nags at him for not being a big enough man to stand up to her but the bloke won't do anything because he loves his wife and kids so much he can't bare to leave the home, and she flippin knows that as well. This can go on for years until the gentle giant snaps and puts her in the hospital and it is him who gets sent down. Now I ask you in all honesty, who was the evil one in that relationship?

You've hit the nail one the head with this one Rheg. Sounds only too familiar...

http://www.menweb.org/battered/


Modern attention to domestic violence began in the women's movement of the 1970s, particularly within feminism and women's rights, as concern about wives being beaten by their husbands gained attention. Only since the late 1970s, and particularly in the masculism and men's movements of the 1990s, has the problem of domestic violence against men gained any significant attention. Estimates show that 30 of every 1,000 females and 45 of every 1,000 males are victims of severe violence committed by their spouses. A 1997 report says significantly more men than women do not disclose the identity of their attacker. A 2009 study showed that there was greater acceptance for abuse perpetrated by females than by males.

So a man is getting physically & mentally abused by his partner. He says NOTHING because he loves his girlfriend, & then one night she pushes him to "breaking point". Now who looks bad?

& now the man has to live with the fact that their relationship has crumbled because he never said a bloody word in the first place. He let his Mrs. walk all over him & he let her peel him like an orange

I'm not saying it's all woman doing wrong here, please don't think that as it takes two. Us men can & should just walk away, but we have to remember that this is a womans world, & that woman will always win. People will always look at the girl & give her sympathy as she tell & reveals "ALL"... but it will be HER man, that sits there, & hides his bruises because he doesn't want anyone knowing that the love of his life is the real bully...