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Thread: Friday Joke

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    8,203

    Talking Friday Joke

    Toilet Cleaning Instructions:

    1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
    water in the bowl.
    2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
    bathroom.
    3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
    lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
    4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises
    that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
    5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash"
    and rinse".
    6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are
    no people between the bathroom and the front door.
    7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
    lids.
    8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,
    and run outside where he will dry himself off.
    9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
    Sincerely,
    The Dog
    Once the original Grumpy Owld Man but alas no more

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,105

    Default

    such a sensitive subject for a wise owld man

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,655

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by golach
    Toilet Cleaning Instructions:

    1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
    water in the bowl.
    2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
    bathroom.
    3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
    lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
    4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises
    that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
    5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash"
    and rinse".
    6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are
    no people between the bathroom and the front door.
    7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
    lids.
    8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,
    and run outside where he will dry himself off.
    9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
    Sincerely,
    The Dog
    Brilliant Golach, my dog has a wry sort of grinning look on her face, she kids on shes deaf at times ,but I swear she knew what I meant.
    As for my signature, hes having a drink to commiserate himself

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    coaster
    Posts
    204

    Default

    You should be in so much trouble for that 1 but its just sooooooo funny i dont think anyone would dare to complain.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    The last house
    Posts
    2,785

    Default

    Ah thocht at wis a great idea Golach antil A'h hed till gie mooth till mooth resucitation till a drooned cat. Ye should be banned!!!!
    In the image of God? You must be joking!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Toffee Land
    Posts
    1,074

    Default

    Dont know where u get them from cant stop laughing Brilliant
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Longside
    Posts
    5,903

    Cool

    Great joke Golach good job this was about cats and not elephants, or the W.E.D.F. would be after you

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Isle of Skye
    Posts
    4,550

    Default

    now now Golach that was soooo naughty of you.The cat obsessed amongst us will be putting a spell on you.... Me and the dog thought that was hilarious.lol
    Never judge someone until you have walked two moons in their moccasins.

    Native American Indian saying.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Planet Xooberon
    Posts
    60

    Default

    LOL, well I love cats and thought that was hilarious!

    You could try the same thing with an elephant, but I dont think it would work so well. You would have trouble fitting it into the toilet for a start...
    Come with me on a journey through time and space...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wick,Caithness,Scotland,The World
    Posts
    2,269

    Default

    Whats grey and wrinkled and hangs oot your grandads Y-fronts?

    His house trained elphilump.
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,655

    Cool

    A Husband goes into the loft & sees an eggbox with 5,000 in cash but no eggs. He says to his Wife `whats all this money doing in the eggbox?`

    She instantly breaks down sobbing and says"I cant lie anymore,Ive been unfaithful. Everytime I slept with another man,I took 6 eggs in payment".

    `Well that explains the eggbox,` says the Husband.`But what about the 5,000?`






    `Well says his wife,everytime I collected a dozen eggs I sold them.................Ill get ma coat eh folks?

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wick,Caithness,Scotland,The World
    Posts
    2,269

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stone Roses
    A Husband goes into the loft & sees an eggbox with 5,000 in cash but no eggs. He says to his Wife `whats all this money doing in the eggbox?`

    She instantly breaks down sobbing and says"I cant lie anymore,Ive been unfaithful. Everytime I slept with another man,I took 6 eggs in payment".

    `Well that explains the eggbox,` says the Husband.`But what about the 5,000?`






    `Well says his wife,everytime I collected a dozen eggs I sold them.................Ill get ma coat eh folks?
    Nice one Stone Roses
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

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