Age difference

[Kevin Milkins]

Interesting subject, and good arguments for and against this type of relationship, however I would say it is almost probable to end in tears. It would seem that most people that have a daughter find it disgusting that a man of this age could have a meaningful relationship (and understandingly so) with a girl of such a young age and yet those who have not could be a little more understanding.

I was fifteen when I was (seduced)lol by Mrs M and she was seventeen and we married a year later, I was not even allowed to have a drink at our wedding reception because I was too young. If you wind the clock forward thirty six years, I have had much banter with my youngest son about this subject (and he is now thirty two) and he used to say “if their feet touch the floor when they are sat on the toilet, then they are old enough”, although his daughter,(my granddaughter is now coming up ten) he would bash you on the nose at the very notion that his little sweet girl would be ready to enter the adult world at sixteen .

I have seen very intelligent people make informed decisions about the way forward based on what is considered (right and proper relationships) and have failed miserably, so if these people are operating within the law then let them get on with it and make their own nest or their own mistakes.

[Gizmo]

I'm not being naive - technically, in the eyes of the law he wouldn't be able to take her to an adult movie at the cinema as she isn't yet an adult.

You never said Cinema in your post, i took it to mean watching an 18 certificate movie at home.

[Mrs Bucket]

I do NOT know where you live but here in Scotland 16 is NOT Underage.

16 is the age of Consent so what you are stating is completely incorrect as far as Scotland is concerned and this is where we are Talking about.

Also if you read the first post it says "Going out with" and no mention of Sex.

I never said 16 was underage

[Mrs Bucket]

Who mentioned underage sex, or condoning it?, the girl mentioned is 16, which is the legal age of consent, so no one is condoning any form of underage sex.

Once again I never said 16 was underf age

[maverick]

That's the whole point of someone asking opinion on a forum surely? And I stand by my assessment. I am passing judgement as a parent and someone who thinks a 16 year old is still very much a child.

I'm intrigued by what a 16 year old and a 36 year old talk about? What they can possibly have in common. What do they do together? Does he help her with her homework? What if he wants to watch a movie and it's 18 certificate (i.e adult film)?

and I stand by my assessment, no laws have been broken, and what has this relationship got to do with you or the person who started this thread? like I said in my post " its not your 16 year old daughter", the parents of the young lady in question do not have a problem with this relationship so why should you? It's not your concern. I'm sure that if your daughter was in a similar position you wouldn't be posting it on a public forum. Like I said bazeye was not a mate to his mate, this relationship has nothing to do with him and therefor I fail to see his need to ask for opinions on the matter on a public forum. You have like most on this thread no insight to this relationship and if the couple in question are happy, who are you to question that? I am sure that we are all very qualified to pass judgement on people that we don't even know..........NOT..

[scotsboy]

right im female, but i think men get such a hard time, if they end up with say someone underage, after all some girls these day dress and have makeup on that makes them look so much older than what they are, and if they say meet a man who is older , who they claim to be older than what they are, so lets assume the natural thing happens, and the girls parents find out, the guy gets done for underage sex, but yet he was lied to at the start, how is that fair.

I really can't believe this post, responsibility seems to have been totally forgotten..........it seems that UK society really is defined by the Jeremy Kyle show.

[John Baikie]

and I stand by my assessment, no laws have been broken, and what has this relationship got to do with you or the person who started this thread? like I said in my post " its not your 16 year old daughter", the parents of the young lady in question do not have a problem with this relationship so why should you? It's not your concern. I'm sure that if your daughter was in a similar position you wouldn't be posting it on a public forum. Like I said bazeye was not a mate to his mate, this relationship has nothing to do with him and therefor I fail to see his need to ask for opinions on the matter on a public forum. You have like most on this thread no insight to this relationship and if the couple in question are happy, who are you to question that? I am sure that we are all very qualified to pass judgement on people that we don't even know..........NOT..

Sorry but if you don't like opinions which differ from your own, perhaps these forums aren't the best place to be spending your time. There's dozens of threads every day which basically see people giving opinions on events which they are not directly involved. If you don't like them, don't read them. However people are quite entitled to give an opinion.

The couple in question may well be happy, but the fact is she is a child, and that makes his part in it very questionable to me. No amount of political correctness will change that.

[scotsboy]

and I stand by my assessment, no laws have been broken, and what has this relationship got to do with you or the person who started this thread? like I said in my post " its not your 16 year old daughter", the parents of the young lady in question do not have a problem with this relationship so why should you? It's not your concern. I'm sure that if your daughter was in a similar position you wouldn't be posting it on a public forum. Like I said bazeye was not a mate to his mate, this relationship has nothing to do with him and therefor I fail to see his need to ask for opinions on the matter on a public forum. You have like most on this thread no insight to this relationship and if the couple in question are happy, who are you to question that? I am sure that we are all very qualified to pass judgement on people that we don't even know..........NOT..

The original poster obviously feels uncomfortable with the situation, and has sought the thoughts of others - he may well want to discuss the matter with his mate, who knows. Just because no "laws" have been broken does not mean that everything is "okay".
IMHO anyone who thinks that it is acceptable for a 16 year old girl to be in a relationship with a 36 year old man, needs to take a good look at themselves.........but that is just my opinion.

[balto]

I really can't believe this post, responsibility seems to have been totally forgotten..........it seems that UK society really is defined by the Jeremy Kyle show.

right im going to assume you are a male, just by your user name, right lets say you met this girl who you would have thought was in her late teens early twentys and you really took a liking to her and one thing led to another, onl;y for you to discover a few weeks down the line she was only 15 and you were about to be in trouble with the police, your telling me you would be ok with that.

[scotsboy]

right im going to assume you are a male, just by your user name, right lets say you met this girl who you would have thought was in her late teens early twentys and you really took a liking to her and one thing led to another, onl;y for you to discover a few weeks down the line she was only 15 and you were about to be in trouble with the police, your telling me you would be ok with that.

It would not happen as I would take responsibility for my actions., but assuming it did happen, then YES I deserve to be in trouble for taking advantage of a child.

[lorr_mun14]

I personally don't understand why this is being discussed on the org, i feel sorry for the two people concerned having their personal life discussed on an open forum, names or no names, they know who they are. It has been said, this is their business and their lives to do with what they want, i fail to see why it should be of so much interest to so many people!

[Bazeye]

I think your not much of a mate to your mate, the young lady in question,her mother doesn't seem to have any problem with the relationship, both parties are of legal age and consent, this relationship has damn all to do with anyone else and if you were anything of a mate you wouldn't be airing his personal life on a public forum, I get the impression that maybe your a little bit jealous. As for everyone else bare in mind that it's not your 16 year old daughter, and when it is then and only then should you be ready to pass judgement...

You dont know the lad in question and he doesnt know you. He doesnt even know this website exists so whats your problem? Do you worry about people who you dont know, or ever met and are never likely to, talking about you? And if you dont think its anyones business, why bother posting replies? And what gave you the impression I was jealous, are you a mindreader or merely judging people on your own standards?

[Bazeye]

I personally don't understand why this is being discussed on the org, i feel sorry for the two people concerned having their personal life discussed on an open forum, names or no names, they know who they are. It has been said, this is their business and their lives to do with what they want, i fail to see why it should be of so much interest to so many people!

They are not from Caithness and, more than likely dont even know where Caithness is, let alone this website so your sympathy for them isnt needed.

[philupmaboug]

Sorry but if you don't like opinions which differ from your own, perhaps these forums aren't the best place to be spending your time. There's dozens of threads every day which basically see people giving opinions on events which they are not directly involved. If you don't like them, don't read them. However people are quite entitled to give an opinion.

The couple in question may well be happy, but the fact is she is a child, and that makes his part in it very questionable to me. No amount of political correctness will change that.

John your opinion on this forum is relevant to you but if and when your daughter falls in love, be it with a 36 year old a 46 year old or someone your age your opinion won’t matter a jot. You make many assumptions in your posts, you assume you will be able to make a 36 year old lose interest! You assume your daughter will fall in love with a bloke! In my opinion you should be happy when she is happy and love and support her decisions….right or wrong because we have all made them.

[AfternoonDelight]

Age shouldn't and doesn't make any difference to love, and it's nobody else's business anyway.

I am the product of an age gap relationship - a very happy and long lasting one... so thank goodness for love being blind!

GOOD LUCK TO THEM!!

[maverick]

Sorry but if you don't like opinions which differ from your own, perhaps these forums aren't the best place to be spending your time. There's dozens of threads every day which basically see people giving opinions on events which they are not directly involved. If you don't like them, don't read them. However people are quite entitled to give an opinion.

The couple in question may well be happy, but the fact is she is a child, and that makes his part in it very questionable to me. No amount of political correctness will change that.

Mr Bakie you have made an assessment and a judgement your words, that's a wee bit more than an opinion and if you want to post your opinions on a public forum I will reserve the right to challenge them, and if you don't like it then don't read it your words again...

[maverick]

You dont know the lad in question and he doesnt know you. He doesnt even know this website exists so whats your problem? Do you worry about people who you dont know, or ever met and are never likely to, talking about you? And if you dont think its anyones business, why bother posting replies? And what gave you the impression I was jealous, are you a mindreader or merely judging people on your own standards?

Like I said previously if you were a mate of his you wouldn't be banding his life about on a public website, and if people are talking about me then it means that they are usually leaving someone else alone, and as for the young lady in question, if her parents have no problem with the relationship why should you, my reason for posting a reply was to simply point out that it has nothing to do with anyone except the couple in question.

[scotsboy]

Like I said previously if you were a mate of his you wouldn't be banding his life about on a public website, and if people are talking about me then it means that they are usually leaving someone else alone, and as for the young lady in question, if her parents have no problem with the relationship why should you, my reason for posting a reply was to simply point out that it has nothing to do with anyone except the couple in question.

In the original post it does make a statement that the girls mother has met the guy and had no problem..........does not mention her father, and therin may lie the problem.

[Bazeye]

In the original post it does make a statement that the girls mother has met the guy and had no problem..........does not mention her father, and therin may lie the problem.

Her mum and dad are divorced. He has not met her father.

[scotsboy]

I was wrong then, apologies.