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Thread: Lets get a bit o' humour back to the org.

  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by DW
    It would appear that only humour of a certain type is acceptable. My thread about dead cats was pulled, now why would that be?
    Maybe, Or probably the moggie lovers took offence mate & complained. Or it just isnt funny, especially to those who`ve recently had their cats mown down by a car. Not everyone thinks like D.W or willowbankbear
    Last edited by willowbankbear; 27-Mar-06 at 12:06.

  2. #62

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    Quote Originally Posted by DW
    It would appear that only humour of a certain type is acceptable. My thread about dead cats was pulled, now why would that be?
    I noticed that DW sad crack eh! I see some bad repped me and the coward never left their calling card,"chicken own up " or maybe its the case of the "cat got their tongue ", I thought this was againts the rules.
    Last edited by Chillie; 27-Mar-06 at 12:33.

  3. #63
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    Cool

    Funny you should say that, as it happened to me last week & I thought it was against the rules. I wouldnt lose any sleep chillie though,

  4. #64

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    Quote Originally Posted by Willowbankbear
    Funny you should say that, as it happened to me last week & I thought it was against the rules. I wouldnt lose any sleep chillie though,
    Thanks, I am not going to lose any sleep, but I did report it to Neil.

  5. #65
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    Red face

    Three mice were sitting in a bar talking about how tough
    they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I
    play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on
    purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and
    bench press it twenty or thirty times." And with that
    he slams another shot.

    The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing.
    I take those Decon tablets, cut them up and snort them
    just for the fun of it." And with that he slams another
    shot.

    The third mouse slams a shot, gets up and walks away.
    The first two mice look at each other, and then turn
    to the third mouse and ask, "Where on earth are you
    going?"

    The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to batter the cat."

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willowbankbear

    The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to batter the cat."
    You can't beat a deep-fried moggie.

  7. #67
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    Lightbulb

    Doh, Ive just realised its a joke about cats ,LOL whoops, hope no-one minds but the original gag was, a bit ruder but Im not getting barred again,

  8. #68
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    Cool

    A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

    He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

    The women notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

    "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

    The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

    Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

    The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

    "Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers..."

    The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!"

    Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Silly thing's an hour fast."


  9. #69
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    Cool Wee George w bush gag

    White House Breakfast:
    Dick Cheney and George Bush are having breakfast early one morning at the White House.
    The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like for breakfast.
    He replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fresh fruit".
    "And what can I get for you Mr. President?"
    George W replies with his trademark wink and a slight grin,
    "How about a quickie this morning?"
    "Why Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims, "How rude! You're starting
    to act like Mr. Clinton and you are only in the first year of your second
    term!" as the waitress storms away.
    Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers.
    "It's pronounced 'quiche'."

  10. #70
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    Cool

    Can I have some Irish sausages please, asked Paddy.

    The Assistant looked at him puzzled and asked, are you Irish?

    If I asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was
    Italian? Or,
    if I asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
    Or if I
    asked you for a kosher hotdog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?

    Would ya, ay? Would ya?...

    The assistant says, err well no...

    If I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican?

    And if I asked you for some bourbon whiskey, would you ask me if I
    was
    American?

    What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?

    Would ya, ay? Would ya?...

    Well, probably not, replied the assistant.

    With self-indignation, the man says, well, all right then, why did
    you ask
    me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?

    Because you're in Homebase mate!

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chillie
    I noticed that DW sad crack eh! I see some bad repped me and the coward never left their calling card,"chicken own up " or maybe its the case of the "cat got their tongue ", I thought this was againts the rules.
    Well I bad repped you for it as I did disapprove of the post it was in bad taste and as said in the rep a childish attempt at humour against cat lovers and animal lovers in general - especially when there is a few people on the board had cats go missing or killed.
    When you have an animal it is like loosing a member of your family when they die so that is my reason for giving you Bad rep for it.
    I will be more than happy if you disagree and I accept the Bad rep as you may disapprove of my feelings.
    I tried to disapprove of DW`s post too but as I have already bad repped him for some tripe like post I couldn`t do it again!
    NEWS-FLASH - Coudroy Pillows are making headlines!

  12. #72

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    Quote Originally Posted by DW
    You can't beat a deep-fried moggie.

    Yum,Yum

  13. #73
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    Just childish looks to me that some people should still be at school.

  14. #74
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    Chillie, I think you put the cat amongst the pigeons with you post.
    Animals I like, people I tolerate.

  15. #75
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    3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".

    The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.

    The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.

    The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.

    Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.

    He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".

  16. #76
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    While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it.

    A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish.

    The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that stupid lamp for. . ."

    "OK, alright" the guy responds.

    "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii."

    This annoy's the genie.

    He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical."

    "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ."

    "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women."

    The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four? "

  17. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by angela5
    While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it.

    A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish.

    The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that stupid lamp for. . ."

    "OK, alright" the guy responds.

    "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii."

    This annoy's the genie.

    He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical."

    "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ."

    "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women."

    The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four? "
    lol rotfl heheheheheheheheheheheh

  18. #78
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    When a boy got a set of drums for his birthday, the man next door gave him a new pocket knife and said, "Why don't you see what's inside the drums?"

  19. #79
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    YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN THE WRONG CHURCH WHEN.......

    .......the staff consists of a senior pastor, an associate pastor and a sociopastor.
    .......the church bus contains a gun rack.
    .......they have an ATM machine in the foyer.
    ....... you enter, an usher asks, "smoking or non-smoking?"
    .......you see this guy there:

  20. #80

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    What does the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do every night?


    He lays awake wondering if there really is a dog......

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