Autism

**Amy-Winehouse** · 11-Jul-09, 00:07

I had just had a baby when my son was diganosed and yes it,s very hard to except at first but it,s happened and who knows why. But i dont for a second blame myself any more there was a time i used to wonder but if you start thinking like that it will drive you mad !!!

I for one believe the only way forward is to look for ways to help your child. Yes i agree a majority of the staff at the ceyac are very friendly and nice but what programmes are they running there that can bring your child forward? Early intervention is the only way forward and the most powerful tool in a autistic childs life is the parent!!! Yes i understand alot of you have other children and have jobs and ect ect but there are courses availble all over the uk that can help you help your child and i know we are all in the same boat as these course,s cost money but myself and my family have set up a charity shop initally to raise funds to help my son but we also want to help other parents ease the burden of how your going to pay for it .

I understand only to well how it feels when you see your child with other children and they seem like an outcast. Last year my son was a classic autistic didnt respond to his name stimmed all the time had terrible tantrums didnt speak no eye contact no social skills

Today my son says a range of words has brillant eye contact and interacts with alot more people than he ever has he also loves to cuddle and kiss he also attends a mainstream nursery group and loves it and the people who work there are fantastic and even the children there are brillant with my son and yes he still has alot of behaviours that are classed as not typical behaviour and to be honest i dont really care if people dont except this because he is who he is and he,s happy and we have a long jounery ahead of us but im prepared to take the ruff with the smooth because i will do everything in my power to ensure i can turn round in 20 years time and say to myself with no regrets I have done everything i could possibly do !!

**stiggy** · 11-Jul-09, 01:23

Originally Posted by Amy-Winehouse

I for one believe the only way forward is to look for ways to help your child. Yes i agree a majority of the staff at the ceyac are very friendly and nice but what programmes are they running there that can bring your child forward? Early intervention is the only way forward and the most powerful tool in a autistic childs life is the parent!!! Yes i understand alot of you have other children and have jobs and ect ect but there are courses availble all over the uk that can help you help your child and i know we are all in the same boat as these course,s cost money but myself and my family have set up a charity shop initally to raise funds to help my son but we also want to help other parents ease the burden of how your going to pay for it .

Our child has gone to CEYAC since she was in primary 2 originally 4 days a week, this year she will go into primary 7 and is down to 1 day. She had speech when she started but did not know how to interact with people outside of her immediate family. With the Excellent help and support of ALL the staff at CEYAC she is becoming a well adjusted child. We both work full time and would have struggled even more than we have without these wonderful people.

We find at times it can be the parents of Supposedly normal children that have no understanding and so exclude her from group activities.

Please give us all a break think how you would feel if your child was always the one standing on the side lines wanting to join in but not knowing how to ask because it feels like they are all talking a different language.

**Amy-Winehouse** · 11-Jul-09, 09:30

Originally Posted by stiggy

Our child has gone to CEYAC since she was in primary 2 originally 4 days a week, this year she will go into primary 7 and is down to 1 day. She had speech when she started but did not know how to interact with people outside of her immediate family. With the Excellent help and support of ALL the staff at CEYAC she is becoming a well adjusted child. We both work full time and would have struggled even more than we have without these wonderful people.

We find at times it can be the parents of Supposedly normal children that have no understanding and so exclude her from group activities.

Please give us all a break think how you would feel if your child was always the one standing on the side lines wanting to join in but not knowing how to ask because it feels like they are all talking a different language.

Oh well thats brillant your daughter has had great progress but unfortunatley my son didnt have the same experience!! as all children are different with ASD and i didnt feel there was enough programmes running there it,s sadly all down to money and what they can afford to do which is why we started our charity shop to help other parents who want to run programmes from home.

Yes some people can be very rude and thats something thats there problem not our childrens!! iggnorance is bliss to some people sadly. But with my experence with the run of the mill children they have been great so far very patient and caring i know this wont always be the case but i will have to see how this affects me when the time comes which i worry about. But thats just part and parital of having a child with special needs it shouldnt be but untill some parents start educating themselves there aint much hope for there kids sadly.

**brandy** · 11-Jul-09, 11:29

just out of curiosity what do you mean by run of the mill children?

**Amy-Winehouse** · 11-Jul-09, 14:07

Originally Posted by brandy

just out of curiosity what do you mean by run of the mill children?

A child with no difficulties i dont like to write normal as i dont think of my son as abnormal never have never will .

**telfordstar** · 11-Jul-09, 14:19

I always find that in general (but more in teachers, sorry to any teachers reading this) people have a very specific mould that the majority of kids fit into ie perfect behavoiur, manners etc but then when one comes along with difficulites its a whole different ball game. Kids are by far the cruelest ever things that have been said to my son and the way he has been treated by other kids have hmade me break down in tears but fortunatly my son bounces back although his confidence is badly bashed.

Best of luch to you amy with all your fundraising its a great thing you are doing for your son. Unfortunalyly there are no such course in uk or abroad that my son would benifit from but like you in years to come i will know i tried my very best for him and be proud of myself for that.

**Amy-Winehouse** · 11-Jul-09, 14:40

Originally Posted by telfordstar

I always find that in general (but more in teachers, sorry to any teachers reading this) people have a very specific mould that the majority of kids fit into ie perfect behavoiur, manners etc but then when one comes along with difficulites its a whole different ball game. Kids are by far the cruelest ever things that have been said to my son and the way he has been treated by other kids have hmade me break down in tears but fortunatly my son bounces back although his confidence is badly bashed.

Best of luch to you amy with all your fundraising its a great thing you are doing for your son. Unfortunalyly there are no such course in uk or abroad that my son would benifit from but like you in years to come i will know i tried my very best for him and be proud of myself for that.

Yes i totally agree kids are cruel i had a terrible time at school because i was dyslexic and that is nothing compared to a child with autism!! I am sure the same will happen to my son at some point in his life but hopefully in years to come more people will be more aware of autism and they might stop and think first but who knows.

I understand what your saying about the programmes but i do think some are well worth a look. But saying that you know your son better than anyone so you know whats best for him. I hope for your sons sake these children see what they are doing to him as theres nothing harder in the world for a child than bully,s especially if you have a different insight into life than what they have i wish i could hit the bully,s for him

**telfordstar** · 11-Jul-09, 14:53

Originally Posted by Amy-Winehouse

Yes i totally agree kids are cruel i had a terrible time at school because i was dyslexic and that is nothing compared to a child with autism!! I am sure the same will happen to my son at some point in his life but hopefully in years to come more people will be more aware of autism and they might stop and think first but who knows.

I understand what your saying about the programmes but i do think some are well worth a look. But saying that you know your son better than anyone so you know whats best for him. I hope for your sons sake these children see what they are doing to him as theres nothing harder in the world for a child than bully,s especially if you have a different insight into life than what they have i wish i could hit the bully,s for him

I have looked but with the way it is a chemical malfunction in the brain unfortunally courses dosnt help, medication and diet are the best option but rest assured that if there was a course he would be there.

I totally understand about the bullies and as a person i find it very hard to hold my tounge not for the kids mind you for parents as well who can sometimes be just as nasty as there child.

**Amy-Winehouse** · 11-Jul-09, 16:10

Originally Posted by telfordstar

I have looked but with the way it is a chemical malfunction in the brain unfortunally courses dosnt help, medication and diet are the best option but rest assured that if there was a course he would be there.

I totally understand about the bullies and as a person i find it very hard to hold my tounge not for the kids mind you for parents as well who can sometimes be just as nasty as there child.

The diet has helped my son alot thank god for that. wish you and your son all the best for the future.

**Vistravi** · 11-Jul-09, 18:10

Chillden are wonderful and all beautiful in their own uinique way.
Each one brings joy and wonder into the world as we try to stay one step ahead of them only to be put back a few when they reveal something.
Children with difficulties are extra special as they need us more. To you parents of children with such difficulties you are doing a super job and only someone strong can be there for their child with these dificulties. But its ok to feel weak and need help.

**Amy-Winehouse** · 11-Jul-09, 21:02

Originally Posted by Vistravi

Chillden are wonderful and all beautiful in their own uinique way.
Each one brings joy and wonder into the world as we try to stay one step ahead of them only to be put back a few when they reveal something.
Children with difficulties are extra special as they need us more. To you parents of children with such difficulties you are doing a super job and only someone strong can be there for their child with these dificulties. But its ok to feel weak and need help.

What a lovely uplifting thread

**tootler** · 11-Jul-09, 22:53

Wow, there are some really great parents on this thread - give yourselves a pat on the back! Sometimes challenges bring out the best in us...

For those of you worrying about the future for your ASD diagnosed children, it's worth having a look at this site:

http://www.arghighland.co.uk/index.html

Autism Rights Group Highland is a voluntary organisation run entirely by adults who are on the autistic spectrum. Their aims include helping people to understand how autistic individuals perceive the world and educate people about autistic strengths. Some of the ARGH campaigners are parents themselves who only received a diagnosis when their child was identified at school as having an ASD. Others are young adults who have grown up always knowing they are autistic. Within the group you will find intelligent, well-educated, passionate people - all with a diagnosis of ASD. (Some are autistic, some have Asperger's.) I know that none of them have it easy, but I'm also sure that every one of them has strengths and talents and lots to give to society.

So don't write off the future for your child, Brandy. Autistic individuals develop differently from "neuro-typical" children, it's true, but they DO develop with plenty of encouragement and love. Just now, your wee boy may be fixated with Thomas the Tank Engine, but it's very possible that in years to come, he'll become the engineer who is fixated with finding a way for us all to survive on the moon, or the scientist fixated with finding a cure for cancer. And with the tenacity of his autistic mind, he's actually more likely to succeed in these challenges than someone with a neuro-typical mind. He won't be distracted if that's what he's decided to do - as parents we see that every day.

As a society we NEED autistic minds. They see things differently and so find new solutions that a sheep like myself can't even begin to imagine. They dig their heels in (boy, as parents do we know that?!) but that stubborn streak can be developed into the tenacity required to succeed in their chosen field. The developed autistic mind is well suited to engineering, computing, science, and there are also many creative autistic souls out there excelling in the fields of art, music and writing.

It's tough. There's no doubting that. But I do believe it's worth it. See the best in your child, keep your expectations high, accept that they will never be "ordinary" and cherish the positives that make them "extraordinary".

At school they may often seem to be behind their peers, but they will catch up and it is possible for them to excel as adults, especially if you encourage them to spend time exploring their field of special interest. (It won't always be just Thomas the Tank, I promise you!) Special interests can and should be developed... and the world will be a better place for that.

**Jovi** · 11-Jul-09, 23:16

I've been reading this thread from the start and what stands out is the incredible commitment that all the parents of children with ASD have,to find the best way forward for their child and do the best they can for them. I am not a parent of a child with ASD but I have had what I consider to be the pleasure of working with children with disabilities in particular ASD for a long time. These children teach you to look at life in a different way,things that we take for granted can make them anxious and bewildered, our world can be a scary place. It can be frustrating,demanding of time and patience but when you make a step forward no matter how small,it is so rewarding. I go home at the end of my working day and can return fresh,for a parent it is 24/7 and life consuming.I can't put myself in your place or understand the emotional rollercoaster but know that there are people who will listen and try to help and there are therapies and courses that can make a huge difference to a childs life . Every child is unique and what will help one may not help another. Other parents can be the best support as they understand best what you are going through and no matter how busy they are,they always seem willing to help another family in the same situation by lending an ear,a shoulder or offering their invaluable experience. I hope that anyone in this situation finds the best way forward for their child and their family and finds the support needed to make it happen.

**Amy-Winehouse** · 11-Jul-09, 23:19

Originally Posted by tootler

Wow, there are some really great parents on this thread - give yourselves a pat on the back! Sometimes challenges bring out the best in us...

For those of you worrying about the future for your ASD diagnosed children, it's worth having a look at this site:

http://www.arghighland.co.uk/index.html

Autism Rights Group Highland is a voluntary organisation run entirely by adults who are on the autistic spectrum. Their aims include helping people to understand how autistic individuals perceive the world and educate people about autistic strengths. Some of the ARGH campaigners are parents themselves who only received a diagnosis when their child was identified at school as having an ASD. Others are young adults who have grown up always knowing they are autistic. Within the group you will find intelligent, well-educated, passionate people - all with a diagnosis of ASD. (Some are autistic, some have Asperger's.) I know that none of them have it easy, but I'm also sure that every one of them has strengths and talents and lots to give to society.

So don't write off the future for your child, Brandy. Autistic individuals develop differently from "neuro-typical" children, it's true, but they DO develop with plenty of encouragement and love. Just now, your wee boy may be fixated with Thomas the Tank Engine, but it's very possible that in years to come, he'll become the engineer who is fixated with finding a way for us all to survive on the moon, or the scientist fixated with finding a cure for cancer. And with the tenacity of his autistic mind, he's actually more likely to succeed in these challenges than someone with a neuro-typical mind. He won't be distracted if that's what he's decided to do - as parents we see that every day.

As a society we NEED autistic minds. They see things differently and so find new solutions that a sheep like myself can't even begin to imagine. They dig their heels in (boy, as parents do we know that?!) but that stubborn streak can be developed into the tenacity required to succeed in their chosen field. The developed autistic mind is well suited to engineering, computing, science, and there are also many creative autistic souls out there excelling in the fields of art, music and writing.

It's tough. There's no doubting that. But I do believe it's worth it. See the best in your child, keep your expectations high, accept that they will never be "ordinary" and cherish the positives that make them "extraordinary".

At school they may often seem to be behind their peers, but they will catch up and it is possible for them to excel as adults, especially if you encourage them to spend time exploring their field of special interest. (It won't always be just Thomas the Tank, I promise you!) Special interests can and should be developed... and the world will be a better place for that.

Best post i have read very postive and totally agree with what your saying my son is very visual and is brillant with puzzles and very good at working out what opens what lol which isnt great when you have an adult proof stair gate lol:L:L

**brandy** · 11-Jul-09, 23:42

thank you so much for that post tootler that has relaly made my day/
ben is coming along really well in himself and is very happy. its constand hard work but i wouldnt trade him at the end of the day for anything.
he is so very clever, and can do so many things.. sometimes, i just forget what he can do, because of some of the things he cant do that most kids his age can. and i need a little reminder of just how special he really is.
and today you have given me that...
thank you.
just a wee note on today.. we were sitting at the computer randomly singing george of the jungle... from not speaking at all six months ago, to singing songs together now. hes come a long way!

**Stavro** · 11-Jul-09, 23:59

Originally Posted by brandy

just a wee note on today.. we were sitting at the computer randomly singing george of the jungle... from not speaking at all six months ago, to singing songs together now. hes come a long way!

Many autistic children have amazing abilities in tone recognition.

**Vistravi** · 12-Jul-09, 01:10

Originally Posted by Stavro

Many autistic children have amazing abilities in tone recognition.

Austistic children have a gift in a certain area which they excell at the most. My brother is austistic and has a almost photographic memory. He can remember everything right down to the fine details. Its truly something considering that everyone else has awful memories.

**Amy-Winehouse** · 12-Jul-09, 11:00

Originally Posted by brandy

thank you so much for that post tootler that has relaly made my day/
ben is coming along really well in himself and is very happy. its constand hard work but i wouldnt trade him at the end of the day for anything.
he is so very clever, and can do so many things.. sometimes, i just forget what he can do, because of some of the things he cant do that most kids his age can. and i need a little reminder of just how special he really is.
and today you have given me that...
thank you.
just a wee note on today.. we were sitting at the computer randomly singing george of the jungle... from not speaking at all six months ago, to singing songs together now. hes come a long way!

Thats brillant your son is singing away you should be so proud of how far he has come and he can only go further

**stiggy** · 12-Jul-09, 11:27

Originally Posted by brandy

just a wee note on today.. we were sitting at the computer randomly singing george of the jungle... from not speaking at all six months ago, to singing songs together now. hes come a long way!

That is fantastic Brandy every new thing he does will be wonderful.
Keep smiling.