Autism

[Wispy]

I am involvedwitha couple of charities and I'm sure I've heard them mention an autism support group in Wick. Sounds like you need to chat to others in the same position as yourself.

[cjb]

This group meets in Wick, every second Thursday from 10-12, upstairs at the Pulteneytown People's Project. Anyone caring for someone with an autistic spectrum disorder is made really welcome, if they have a diagnosis or are currently going through the assessment process. Not just parents, but grans aunties and so on!
Coffee, cake, friendship and good advice usually available!!!
Unfortunately we can't meet through the holidays as we don't have respite but we will be meeting the first Thursday after the schools go back.
The group also has a mobile phone for people to contact. It should be in the info pack you get from the Community Paediatrician, but here it is for anyone who can't find it.
07923477002
Someone will phone you back, even though it might take a wee while, we are all mums with care commitments, who share the phone around to offer a contact.
Unfortunately we don't currently have meetings in Thurso but hope we might start these up again on a monthly basis in the evenings for folk who work.
We can help out with transport or a help with child care costs if you have under 5's
Please get in touch we would love to welcome new members.

[telfordstar]

This group meets in Wick, every second Thursday from 10-12, upstairs at the Pulteneytown People's Project. Anyone caring for someone with an autistic spectrum disorder is made really welcome, if they have a diagnosis or are currently going through the assessment process. Not just parents, but grans aunties and so on!
Coffee, cake, friendship and good advice usually available!!!
Unfortunately we can't meet through the holidays as we don't have respite but we will be meeting the first Thursday after the schools go back.
The group also has a mobile phone for people to contact. It should be in the info pack you get from the Community Paediatrician, but here it is for anyone who can't find it.
07923477002
Someone will phone you back, even though it might take a wee while, we are all mums with care commitments, who share the phone around to offer a contact.
Unfortunately we don't currently have meetings in Thurso but hope we might start these up again on a monthly basis in the evenings for folk who work.
We can help out with transport or a help with child care costs if you have under 5's
Please get in touch we would love to welcome new members.

Thats great you have a support group it will help alot of parents, unfortunatly there isnt one up here for adhd which is a shame as there are a few kids in county who have the disorder.

[Amy-Winehouse]

Thats great you have a support group it will help alot of parents, unfortunatly there isnt one up here for adhd which is a shame as there are a few kids in county who have the disorder.

Why dont you try starting one im sure there would be people willing to come and share there expereinces.

[telfordstar]

Why dont you try starting one im sure there would be people willing to come and share there expereinces.

Id love to, to be honest but with a job and 3 kids it would be hard to fit in the time to organise 1 but would certinly attend one. So anyone who has an child with adhd feel free to get in touch and maybe something might come of it.

[tootler]

Thanks, cjb, for posting about the Wick meetings. We did have meetings here in Thurso for a while but not recently. If there are parents on the Thurso side looking for support, pm me and we could see about getting regular meetings going here, too. Perhaps evenings would be better?

Try not to lose heart - there are many ups that come along with the downs of caring for a child with an ASD. Coffee with other parents is definitely the best way forward...

Even if you just go along to the Wick group once or twice, you'll be able to get some phone numbers to ring if you have any problems. Parents can really help each other and, especially within the education system, parents have much more power than they think.

Best of luck to all ASD parents on the org & never feel alone - there are plenty of us here!!

[cuddlepop]

We're 'lucky' to have two autistic children, and it is VERY hard.

Don't believe they were given to us for a reason, often wonder what we did wrong in life to get the hand we've been dealt.

ifind it very hard to be positive when someone ask abouts experience of autism as we.vw had such a hard time.

I meet someone I know down here whose visiting folks,I told it like it is for kids like ours on Skye.....terrible,especially high school.

Hopefully by the time your child reaches high school HC will have got their act together and improved things.

Attitudes,especially negative ones from so called "professional" people might never change and those are the ones that cause the most damage.

I feel your pain Steaker and wish it could be different for you .A double doze of what I've just been through would have seen me sectioned,its that tough.

Dont blame yourself,you.ve done nothing wrong.It now looks like the condition is linked to genetics and in my daughters case,her uncle and his son are both affected.

Its not a punishment but an "endurance" test on your "faith"

I'm still here..

[tootler]

We're so lucky here in Caithness, Cuddlepop - Thurso High is well resourced to meet the needs of ASD pupils, probably because we have twice the national average in the school population. It can be a very difficult condition to manage in a mainstream setting, especially in communities like ours where all of society's teenagers are educated in the same school and often in the same classroom. Bullying's been a big problem for some families here, I know. But I've found that the staff at THS are really doing their best - they're learning and they're willing to change to meet the individual needs of our individual children. It's very important to keep that line of communication open, even when it seems like you're banging your head off the wall...

Sometimes it really does feel like the fight never ends, and even I get tired, but I try to remember that actually everyone's just doing their best for my child, even if their best seems pretty poor. Most problems in the school stem from ignorance on the part of staff (and pupils), so be prepared to be your child's no. 1 advocate. No-one understands them better than you do, and no-one else really can understand them without living with them 24/7. (Not even "experts" like the ed. psych. or the specialist ASD teacher - YOU are the expert on your child.)

And Brandy - don't worry, you're on a sharp learning curve (we've all been there!) but you will come to understand your child much better now that you have a diagnosis. It's like having a viewing platform into the way he thinks & as the months and years pass by, you'll find yourself able to understand and appreciate him more and more. Beginning to understand how he thinks will give you patience and strength to deal with the challenges. There are loads of books in the libraries here on ASDs that might be helpful. Please do go along to the Wick support group - you'll find genuine support from the other parents there that will last and last. I also found the NAS "Help!" programme was very helpful. Best of luck & try to stay positive... x

[ShelleyCowie]

I have been reading this thread since the start. I have not got an autistic child. But yesterday at work the most lovely girl came in with her mum and she was autistic. She was so caring, she interacted with me and my manager. She was so beautiful too.

She really cheered me up yesterday! It was a pleasure to meet her and im sure i will meet her again in the future. And i really look forward to it.

Also she had everybody in the shop sitting down around her. So it was good to get a seat for a second. I would have quite happily sat with her all day! She was lovely.

[oldmarine]

Good testimonies from Tootler & Shelley on this thread. You folks in Thurso should be proud. It has been many years since I've been there, but it's good to read the two above comments.

[katarina]

I ro have sent you a pm.

[cuddlepop]

Throughout the whole of Scotland Thurso is regarded in autistic circles to have the best provision for our kids.

Your very lucky to live in such a beautiful location and have "central belt" provisions.

Thats why we wanted to move there but it just wasnt to be....

[Amy-Winehouse]

We're so lucky here in Caithness, Cuddlepop - Thurso High is well resourced to meet the needs of ASD pupils, probably because we have twice the national average in the school population. It can be a very difficult condition to manage in a mainstream setting, especially in communities like ours where all of society's teenagers are educated in the same school and often in the same classroom. Bullying's been a big problem for some families here, I know. But I've found that the staff at THS are really doing their best - they're learning and they're willing to change to meet the individual needs of our individual children. It's very important to keep that line of communication open, even when it seems like you're banging your head off the wall...

Sometimes it really does feel like the fight never ends, and even I get tired, but I try to remember that actually everyone's just doing their best for my child, even if their best seems pretty poor. Most problems in the school stem from ignorance on the part of staff (and pupils), so be prepared to be your child's no. 1 advocate. No-one understands them better than you do, and no-one else really can understand them without living with them 24/7. (Not even "experts" like the ed. psych. or the specialist ASD teacher - YOU are the expert on your child.)

And Brandy - don't worry, you're on a sharp learning curve (we've all been there!) but you will come to understand your child much better now that you have a diagnosis. It's like having a viewing platform into the way he thinks & as the months and years pass by, you'll find yourself able to understand and appreciate him more and more. Beginning to understand how he thinks will give you patience and strength to deal with the challenges. There are loads of books in the libraries here on ASDs that might be helpful. Please do go along to the Wick support group - you'll find genuine support from the other parents there that will last and last. I also found the NAS "Help!" programme was very helpful. Best of luck & try to stay positive... x

Excellent thread

[Henrik7]

Our son has just been diagnosed with ADHD and they also suspect he has Autism but have told us he is too young for them to diagnose the Autism. It has certainly been hard and not knowing if he has Autism or not has been a worry for us.

[telfordstar]

Our son has just been diagnosed with ADHD and they also suspect he has Autism but have told us he is too young for them to diagnose the Autism. It has certainly been hard and not knowing if he has Autism or not has been a worry for us.

My son has adhd and there is a very fine line between the adhd and autism which makes it a lenghly process to determin whether he has autism or not. my son was tested and found not to have autism abut the adhd is alot to deal with and i can guess if he had the two it would make things alot more complicated if he did.

If i can help in any way with the adhd just ask i have been reserching this for so long for my own son id be happy to help.

[Henrik7]

Thank you so much thats very nice of you. Got to admit it has been very hard, mostly on my partner as she is pregnant and also has to deal with our daughter. I think the worst thing is you always feel it's your fault in some way.

[telfordstar]

Thank you so much thats very nice of you. Got to admit it has been very hard, mostly on my partner as she is pregnant and also has to deal with our daughter. I think the worst thing is you always feel it's your fault in some way.

No problem at all I would be glad to help. Im no doctor but my son was diagnosed 4 years ago now so do know a little. I also have 2 other childeren and it is very hard at times.

We thought the same as well when our son was diagnosed but it really is just one of those things and nothing either of us could of done would of prevented it.

[brandy]

i do that as well.. think, what did i do?
what could i have done differently?
whats wrong with me to have made him the way he is?
so many questions and no answers.
i became very angry, thinking i worked so hard to make sure they were healthy,
when i was preg. i did everything that i was suppose to.
as babies we did all the things we were suppose to.
and i looked around me and saw so many children with parents who didn't care.
children of drug users and people that should never have been allowed to breed, and i cried out in my mind.. why not their kids.. why mine?
i would never wish anything on those children, its just the pain of a grieving parent.
i mourn for all the things he will never have.
i try every day to look at the up side, to see what a special little boy he is.
to look past everything else, and see how happy he is..
but there are times that i sit in the quiet and cry, and wish things could be dif.

[cuddlepop]

i do that as well.. think, what did i do?
what could i have done differently?
whats wrong with me to have made him the way he is?
so many questions and no answers.
i became very angry, thinking i worked so hard to make sure they were healthy,
when i was preg. i did everything that i was suppose to.
as babies we did all the things we were suppose to.
and i looked around me and saw so many children with parents who didn't care.
children of drug users and people that should never have been allowed to breed, and i cried out in my mind.. why not their kids.. why mine?
i would never wish anything on those children, its just the pain of a grieving parent.
i mourn for all the things he will never have.
i try every day to look at the up side, to see what a special little boy he is.
to look past everything else, and see how happy he is..
but there are times that i sit in the quiet and cry, and wish things could be dif.

Brandy I know its difficult but stop being so hard on yourself your actually griefing for the child you've just "lost".

[brandy]

im not like that very often, in fact very rarely.. in fact the day we got his diagnosis i was happy as it was more a relief that now we had a reason for everything, and a way forward.
the day after was really hard and i had a really long cry when i sat there and thought.. oh my god my little boy is autistic.
most of the time i dont really think about it. we are so busy just getting on with life that it never comes up. its only when i see other kids his age doing the things he cant does it hit home thats he is dif. from other kids.
its only when im on my own, and sit and think about it that i mourn what i wanted him to have and be. i have no idea what the future holds.. but i know its a long journey and something that we have to do as a family. some days are better than others. even though ben only got his diagnosis on the 1st of June, he has been here for nearly 5 years. he has not changed since he was given a diagnosis, my perception of him hasn't changed. not really anything has changed.. except he will not be going into mainstream school, and to tell the truth im happy that he will be at ceyac as its a wonderful place and he loves it.