Worst Joke Ever...

**willowbankbear** · 18-Mar-06, 02:00

E LIE this was edited due to users worries I was gona get banned. Sorry to disappoint folks, pms if ye want tho

**willowbankbear** · 18-Mar-06, 02:01

What did the leper say to the Hooker?
Keep the tip

**Cedric Farthsbottom III** · 18-Mar-06, 02:10

Originally Posted by Willowbankbear

w3hat do elephants use as a vibrator?
a python with parkinsons disease

why did cinderella get chucked oot of Disneyland?
She was caught sitting on pinnochios face,screaming LIE LIE LIE

Note to Cedric.............through past experience of jokes through caithness org.

If these jokes by Willowbankbear,the master of jokes on the org. ,is still here in the morning I will eat my hat!!!!!!!!!

**willowbankbear** · 18-Mar-06, 02:14

Surely yer offended sir???

Don`t be , Always look on the bright side of life

**Cedric Farthsbottom III** · 18-Mar-06, 02:21

Originally Posted by Willowbankbear

Surely yer offended sir???

Don`t be , Always look on the bright side of life

Never offended,especially by your good selfs humour!!!!!

Always look on the bright side o' life is ma motto!!!!!!

Just remembered that i posted a similar joke on the org. at around this time one night and it was REMOVED!!!!!!......we can both wait and see!!!!!

**Jeid** · 18-Mar-06, 02:46

My god. I can't believe my one awful joke has spawned so many bad ones.

Mind you, a couple on the first page had me in stitches.

**Jeid** · 18-Mar-06, 02:50

A man walked into a bar, sat down, ordered 3 shots of whiskey, drank them, then left. This continued daily for several weeks. Curious, the bartender asked him one day, "Why do you always order three shots of whiskey?"

The man answered, "Because my two brothers and I always used to have one shot each, and since they've both passed on, I've continued to order the three shots in their honor."

The bartender thought that this was a very noble thing to do, and welcomed the man every time he visited the bar. Two weeks later, the man walked into the bar for his daily visit and ordered two shots of whiskey.

Surprised, the bartender asked him why he only ordered two when had had always been ordering three.

The man answered, "Oh, I've decided to stop drinking."

**Jeid** · 18-Mar-06, 02:51

This one is actually really funny

A little fella walks into a bar. Unfortunately, there is a pile of dog crap just inside the door, and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself up and walks to the bar and buys a drink.

A great big man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of crap, falls, gets up, cleans up and buys a drink.

The little guy turns to the big guy and, trying to strike up a conversation, points to the pile by the door and says, "I just did that."

The big guy punches him in the mouth

**willowbankbear** · 18-Mar-06, 02:56

Originally Posted by Jeid

This one is actually really funny

A little fella walks into a bar. Unfortunately, there is a pile of dog crap just inside the door, and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself up and walks to the bar and buys a drink.

A great big man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of crap, falls, gets up, cleans up and buys a drink.

The little guy turns to the big guy and, trying to strike up a conversation, points to the pile by the door and says, "I just did that."

The big guy punches him in the mouth

That should be on GrantyGs thread man, thaeres nothing wrong with that at all, in fact it was good

**golach** · 18-Mar-06, 02:58

Did you hear about the man who found a trumpet growing in his garden?
He had to
wait for it
root it oot.
that is Mrs G's favourite joke

**willowbankbear** · 18-Mar-06, 03:13

Right thread you are on Golach sir

, That was really poor sir, you must admit it eh?

**Jeid** · 18-Mar-06, 03:13

An old man goes to see the doctor.
"it's about my bowel movements..." says the old man.
"Are they loose?" asks the doctor.
"No" says the old man.
"Are you constipated then?" asks the doctor.
"No" says the old man, "Regular as clockwork, that's me!" he continues. "You can set your watch by it....eight o'clock every morning without fail."
"So what's the problem?" asks the doctor.
"I don't wake up till nine!"