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Thread: Worst Joke Ever...

  1. 18-Mar-06, 00:31 #61
    2little2late
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cedric
    Whats green and eats nuts?
    My envious wife.
    A 1991 Gallup survey indicated that 49 percent of Americans didn't know that white bread is made from wheat.
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  2. 18-Mar-06, 00:32 #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cedric
    Whats green and eats nuts?
    no you got me on that one .
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  3. 18-Mar-06, 00:33 #63
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    whats black white black white black white rolling down a hill ?
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  4. 18-Mar-06, 00:35 #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2little2late
    My envious wife.
    ........BRILLIANT.........not the right answer.....but ye know what......I'll say spot on jokmeister!!!!!!!!
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho
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  5. 18-Mar-06, 00:37 #65
    2little2late
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    Quote Originally Posted by ice box
    whats black white black white black white rolling down a hill ?
    Either a nun or a (gay) penguin.
    A 1991 Gallup survey indicated that 49 percent of Americans didn't know that white bread is made from wheat.
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  6. 18-Mar-06, 00:38 #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by ice box
    whats black white black white black white rolling down a hill ?
    Julie Andrews singing her wee heart heart oot in the Sound o' Music who suddenly tripped over a daisy!!!!!!!!
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho
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  7. 18-Mar-06, 00:46 #67
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    # This 'joke' must be done in the coloquial #
    A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Chinese man all end up in the South American rain forest as a result of a 'plane crash.

    Obliviously the Scot takes charge and assigns the other camp duties to his fellow survivors.

    He decides that he will be in charge of making a shelter, the Englishman will be charged with ensuring the fire is always burning and the Chinaman will have to forage for food.

    After two days, they have shelter, the fire is burning and there is a good stock of wood, however the China man has not appeared back.

    The Scot and the Englishman decide they must try and find their fellow survivor.

    After two days searching, they are reaching the end of their tether, then
    from behind a tree, the China man springs and shouts "Surprise"



    Yeah, you probably had to be there.
    Last edited by tip top; 18-Mar-06 at 00:53.
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  8. 18-Mar-06, 01:01 #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by tip top
    # This 'joke' must be done in the coloquial #
    A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Chinese man all end up in the South American rain forest as a result of a 'plane crash.

    Obliviously the Scot takes charge and assigns the other camp duties to his fellow survivors.

    He decides that he will be in charge of making a shelter, the Englishman will be charged with ensuring the fire is always burning and the Chinaman will have to forage for food.

    After two days, they have shelter, the fire is burning and there is a good stock of wood, however the China man has not appeared back.

    The Scot and the Englishman decide they must try and find their fellow survivor.

    After two days searching, they are reaching the end of their tether, then
    from behind a tree, the China man springs and shouts "Surprise"



    Yeah, you probably had to be there.
    Noo tiptop if ye said the Chinese guy said"Supplies"..................oh aye its the worst joke thread......Oh tiptop
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho
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  9. 18-Mar-06, 01:03 #69
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    Definately the worst joke!!....lol
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.
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  10. 18-Mar-06, 01:04 #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by ice box
    whats black white black white black white rolling down a hill ?
    your gone without leaving the answer.....
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  11. 18-Mar-06, 01:14 #71
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    Default the classic

    Why is six afraid of seven?


    Because seven eight nine.
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  12. 18-Mar-06, 01:15 #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by pultneytooner
    Why is six afraid of seven?


    Because seven eight nine.
    because seven ate nine!!!
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.
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  13. 18-Mar-06, 01:19 #73
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    A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
    She said, "I'd love to be ten again."

    On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.

    She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

    Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"

    One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."
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  14. 18-Mar-06, 01:24 #74
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    How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
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  15. 18-Mar-06, 01:26 #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willowbankbear
    How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
    2?.........
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.
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  16. 18-Mar-06, 01:28 #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willowbankbear
    How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
    I know this one but go for it willobankbear.
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  17. 18-Mar-06, 01:30 #77
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    Thumbs down

    3. A right ear, A left ear & a wild frontier
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  18. 18-Mar-06, 01:48 #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willowbankbear
    3. A right ear, A left ear & a wild frontier
    Good one Willowbankbear!!!!!

    How many ears does Spock fae Star Trek have?
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho
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  19. 18-Mar-06, 01:56 #79
    willowbankbear
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cedric
    Good one Willowbankbear!!!!!

    How many ears does Spock fae Star Trek have?

    3 Cedric Im
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  20. 18-Mar-06, 01:59 #80
    pultneytooner
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    A turkey was standing in a field chatting to a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

    "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who dashed into the farmhouse, emerged with a shotgun, and shot the turkey right out of the tree.

    Moral of the Story: Bull############ might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
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