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Thread: Worst Joke Ever...

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Worst Joke Ever...

    This is what we'd expect from caithness.org I reckon

    3 pieces of string outside a bar plotting their way of getting in.

    First piece of string walks into the bar...

    Barman - "We don't serve pieces of string, get the hell out!"

    Second piece tries...

    Barman - "I just told your little mate, NO STRING! Get out!!"

    Third piece ruffles up his 'hai'r and makes a few loops round himself...

    Barman - "Don't tell me you're another piece of string?!!"

    String 3 - "No, I'm afraid not."

  2. #2
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    Must of heard that when i was about ten has to be the worst one yet lol

  3. #3
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    Mar 2006
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    Default

    Definitely a bad joke but still made me laugh.

  4. #4
    knightofeth Guest

    Default

    That was quite good - does anyone else want to share their "worst" joke?

  5. #5
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    2 fish in a tank and one says - " Ho de ye ken hoo tae drive thas thing?"

    Sorry I have been teaching little "Wans" in falkirk and the accent has pooluted my mind!

    What do you call a fish with no eyes?

    FFFFSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH
    NEWS-FLASH - Coudroy Pillows are making headlines!

  6. #6
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    Default

    whats a bees favourite book?


    Bridget Drones diary

  7. #7

    Default

    Did you hear about the fire at the campsite?

    It was intense!!!
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  8. #8
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    A man cuts his foot quite badly whilst on the beach, a couple of days later it's very sore and inflamed so he decides to go to the hospital. On the way there he steps into the road and the same foot gets run over by a truck. He staggers into the casualty department and an Australian student doctor starts to examine his foot; after much deliberation the doctor says "Strewth Mate, what you've got there is a Pusfilledflattyfoot!"

  9. #9

    Default

    Mummy, Mummy...can I wear a bra, now i'm sixteen?

    Shut up Albert!!!!
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  10. #10
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    Two peanuts walk into a rowdy bar. One was assaulted. how bads that lol

  11. #11
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    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

  12. #12
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    A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So, he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, checks his teeth, etc. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Just because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really, really heavy."

  13. #13

    Default

    Two cowboys are standing in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?

    The one on the range!!
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  14. #14
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    What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated Spirits.

  15. #15
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    How does bob marley like his doughnuts



    Wi Jammin!
    NEWS-FLASH - Coudroy Pillows are making headlines!

  16. #16
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    Lol! Great bad jokes! Hee hee!!
    "If you do something right, people won't think you've done anything at all"

  17. #17

    Default

    Knock Knock!!

    Whos there?

    Biggish!!

    Biggish who?

    Sorry no Change!!....lol
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  18. #18
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    What did one frog say to the other?
    'Time's sure fun when you're having flies!'

  19. #19
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    A man is in bed with his wife when he hears a rat-a-tat-tat on the front door. He rolls over, looks at the clock and sees that it's three o'clock in the morning. "What idiot would be knocking at the door at this hour?" thinks the man, and he rolls over and tries to go back to sleep.
    After a few minutes, there's a louder knock on the door. "Aren't you going to see who it is?" asks his wife, so the man drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
    He opens the door to find a stranger standing outside.
    "Eh mate," says the stranger, "Can you give us a push?"
    "No! Get lost! It's three in the morning. I was sleeping," says the man and shuts the door.

    He goes back to bed and tells his wife what happened. She says, "Remember that night when we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick up the kids from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get him to help us? What would have happened if he'd told us to 'get lost'?"

    So the man gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts, "Hey. Do you still want a push?"
    A voice cries out, "Yes please, mate."
    So, still being unable to see the stranger the man shouts, "Where are you?"
    "I'm over here on the swings."

  20. #20
    krieve Guest

    Default

    knock knock
    whos there?
    yule
    yule who?
    yule never guess lol

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