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Thread: Now for something different......

  1. #1
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    Cool Now for something different......

    Last wednesday , the boys in Harrolds butchers in Wick were just tidying up when they noticed a wee dog at the counter!

    Johnny the boss roared at the dog to get out, which it did rather sharpish,then he carried on cleaning for a few minutes until he noticed that the dog had returned again, but this time Johnny noticed a piece of paper in the mutt`s mouth.

    `Come here boy` he said to the dog,to which it duly walked over & dropped the note at Johnny`s feet. `smart wee dog` thinks Johnny to himself as he began to read the note.
    It said`Can I have 12 sausages & a steak pie please` & there was a $10 note with the note, So Johnny went & got the dog his order,wrapped it,put it in a bag& gave him his change. At this the dog barked & left the shop.


    Johnny then decided to follow this smart wee dog to see who in Wick could own such a smart doggie. So the wee dog went round the corner to the traffic light on Bridge street, stood on his hind legs,pressed the button & waited.....

    As the lights changed the little dog walked across the road like any normal pedestrian,Johnny was impressed even more and kept walking after him. When the Doggie reached the bridge bus stop he sat down & waited. The Thurso Bus went by,the Town Bus went by,then came the Lybster Bus.
    The wee doggie got up jumped onto the Bus paid his fare , then went & sat down, So seeing this Johnny got on & sat on the bus.

    As the bus went out of town it made 3 stops then as it came close to Thrumster, the wee dog jumped up pressed the bell and got off as it stopped at the village, closely followed by Johnny.

    He walked along Stewart Crescent and then cut along the back,kept going until he came to a wee house & walked into the garden,dropped the bag & charged up at the front door! BANG! The wee dog then made his way back down the path & did the same trick again!

    As he got no answer, the wee dog ran to the side of the house,jumped up on the coal Bunker & nutted the window 3 times,then jumped off, ran back to the front,picked up the shopping bag, went to the front door and barked!

    Now by this time ,Johnny is in absolute awe of this dog, when suddenly A man opens the front door,looks around then sees the dog & starts laying punches & kicks in him.

    Johnny is horrified at this treatment,screams at the man`Dont ye dare hit that dog,that dog is a Genius he should be on telly`
    The man replies "Genius!!!, Ill give ye Genius,see this genius as ye call him, well its the 3rd time this week that this Genius has forgotten his keys!!!!!

  2. #2
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    Jan 2006
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    Willowbankbear, that was your best joke yet ROFL

  3. #3
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    good one willowbankbear

  4. #4
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    wbb that is a cracker iam in stitches nice one mate .

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willowbankbear
    Last wednesday , the boys in Harrolds butchers in Wick were just tidying up when they noticed a wee dog at the counter!

    Johnny the boss roared at the dog to get out, which it did rather sharpish,then he carried on cleaning for a few minutes until he noticed that the dog had returned again, but this time Johnny noticed a piece of paper in the mutt`s mouth.

    `Come here boy` he said to the dog,to which it duly walked over & dropped the note at Johnny`s feet. `smart wee dog` thinks Johnny to himself as he began to read the note.
    It said`Can I have 12 sausages & a steak pie please` & there was a $10 note with the note, So Johnny went & got the dog his order,wrapped it,put it in a bag& gave him his change. At this the dog barked & left the shop.


    Johnny then decided to follow this smart wee dog to see who in Wick could own such a smart doggie. So the wee dog went round the corner to the traffic light on Bridge street, stood on his hind legs,pressed the button & waited.....

    As the lights changed the little dog walked across the road like any normal pedestrian,Johnny was impressed even more and kept walking after him. When the Doggie reached the bridge bus stop he sat down & waited. The Thurso Bus went by,the Town Bus went by,then came the Lybster Bus.
    The wee doggie got up jumped onto the Bus paid his fare , then went & sat down, So seeing this Johnny got on & sat on the bus.

    As the bus went out of town it made 3 stops then as it came close to Thrumster, the wee dog jumped up pressed the bell and got off as it stopped at the village, closely followed by Johnny.

    He walked along Stewart Crescent and then cut along the back,kept going until he came to a wee house & walked into the garden,dropped the bag & charged up at the front door! BANG! The wee dog then made his way back down the path & did the same trick again!

    As he got no answer, the wee dog ran to the side of the house,jumped up on the coal Bunker & nutted the window 3 times,then jumped off, ran back to the front,picked up the shopping bag, went to the front door and barked!

    Now by this time ,Johnny is in absolute awe of this dog, when suddenly A man opens the front door,looks around then sees the dog & starts laying punches & kicks in him.

    Johnny is horrified at this treatment,screams at the man`Dont ye dare hit that dog,that dog is a Genius he should be on telly`
    The man replies "Genius!!!, Ill give ye Genius,see this genius as ye call him, well its the 3rd time this week that this Genius has forgotten his keys!!!!!

    I thought it was a real story until I seen the dollar sign!
    You get what you give

  6. #6

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    This is the first post I've read since finishing work and I'm laughing away...cant wait to get on to the rest now Thanks Willowbankbear!!
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saveman
    I thought it was a real story until I seen the dollar sign!
    i was the same then seen the dollar sign lol

  8. #8
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    Cool

    Well I would have stuck 1 in but I dont have any on my keyboard

    And who wants to join my clique?? I see my fav. Orgers are on, any takers?

  9. #9
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    Thumbs up

    I was nearly taken in as well!

    Good one!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willowbankbear
    Well I would have stuck 1 in but I dont have any on my keyboard

    And who wants to join my clique?? I see my fav. Orgers are on, any takers?
    What's the benefits package??
    You get what you give

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saveman
    What's the benefits package??
    yeh! what's the benefits package?? and seeing as i found somewhere bigger than a red phone box for the non-existent clique to meet...anychance i can join your .clique willowbankbear..

    Rheghead i'm sure willowbankbear will invite you to...
    he won't want anyone to take the hoof!

  12. #12
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    I cant see why Rheghead cant come in to my clique or CLICK-Eh?, Angela5 this imaginary clique is for every1 affected by the Sensational accusations of Carasmam last night, us poor wee cleekers What a load of nutse that was.

  13. #13

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    Nice one. Definately the best I've seen for a long time.
    Doolally

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doolally
    Nice one. Definately the best I've seen for a long time.
    Totally agree Doolally.The funniest joke I've read since the Clydesdale Horse offspring......... .As for the clique though Willowbankbear.......did one this mornin'.
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cedric
    Totally agree Doolally.The funniest joke I've read since the Clydesdale Horse offspring......... .As for the clique though Willowbankbear.......did one this mornin'.
    Clydesdale horse offspring? Have I missed something?
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by connieb19
    Clydesdale horse offspring? Have I missed something?
    The photography thread,last page.I'll no spoil it for ye though Connie pal !!!!
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cedric
    The photography thread,last page.I'll no spoil it for ye though Connie pal !!!!
    Cedric yer slevering again!!!!!Sorry,Connie wrong thread its in the wackiest hotel one...opticians tomorrow!!!!
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  18. #18
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    Last summer, I went to D E shoes for a pair of flip flops to wear on Reiss beach. They cost me 3.99. It wasn't until I got home and found I had two left ones and ended up with a pair of flip flips.
    A 1991 Gallup survey indicated that 49 percent of Americans didn't know that white bread is made from wheat.

  19. #19
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    Cool

    Hey Ive got 2 wee boxes now thanks guys, at least ive made somebody smile today

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willowbankbear
    Hey Ive got 2 wee boxes now thanks guys, at least ive made somebody smile today
    Aye ye did that......Tried to rep ye but I was told that I have to buy some Flora and spread it around!!!!
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

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