Thursday Jokey Wokey!

[angela5]

"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn New York have gone on strike.

Hospital officals say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!"

[2little2late]

Two teddy bears got a job on a building site as labourers helping demolish buildings etc. Both teddies had their tools for the job. They were both hacking away all day with their pick axes. Any way they both had their lunch break and when they went back to work, one of the teddy bears saw that his pick axe was missing. After about an hour of searching they decided to report it missing to the foreman.

The foreman says, "Didn't you know?"
"Know what" ask the teddy bears.

The foreman replies.
"Todays the day that teddy bears have their picks nicked".

[Abdullah]

Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten.

Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him.

As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume screaming, "Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya' don't give up you're drinkin' and it's to Hell I'll take ye'".

Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded, "Who the hell ARE you?". Too that the Missus replied, "I'm the divil ya' damned old fool".

To which Flaherty remarked, "Damned glad to meet you sir, I'm married to yer sister."

[angela5]

hee...hee..good one Abdullah.

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Two ladies sitting on a park bench when two guys who have just finished a tennis match walk past. The guy has a tennis ball in his shorts pocket. One of the women on the bench looks quite taken aback at the guys pocket.
"It's only a tennis ball" says the man.
"Blimey", says the woman "I've heard tennis elbow is sore but you must be in agony!".

Good one 2little2late.


Two flies are sitting on a dog poo in New York,when one of them starts to get a bit nervous.

The other fly asks"Whats up with you man?"

The other one says "We better scarper because that guy over there has just said the SWAT team is coming in!!!!!!!"

[2little2late]

Good one 2little2late.


Two flies are sitting on a dog poo in New York,when one of them starts to get a bit nervous.

The other fly asks"Whats up with you man?"

The other one says "We better scarper because that guy over there has just said the SWAT team is coming in!!!!!!!"

very good mate.

[2little2late]

After Michael Jackson's recent child abuse trial, all his family decided to go back to his Neverland ranch. Once inside Michael's mother suggested watching a DVD.

"I know", said Michael "We'll get Alladin"

"Michael!!" shouts his mother. "Don't start those tricks again.

[angela5]

A seven year old girl told her mum, " A boy in class asked me to play doctor".

"oh, dear, the mother nervously sighed. "what happened honey?"

"nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double billed the in
insurance company".

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

A teacher says to her class,"Today I would like you all to say a sentence with centimetre in it."

Wee Angela5 puts her hand up and says,"There is 100 centimetres in a metre."

Wee DrSzin puts his hand up and says,"There are 10 millimetres in a centimetre"

Wee 2little2late puts his hand up and says,"My Gran got lost at the railway station so I was centimetre!!!!!"

[angela5]

A teacher says to her class,"Today I would like you all to say a sentence with centimetre in it."

Wee Angela5 puts her hand up and says,"There is 100 centimetres in a metre."

Wee DrSzin puts his hand up and says,"There are 10 millimetres in a centimetre"

Wee 2little2late puts his hand up and says,"My Gran got lost at the railway station so I was centimetre!!!!!"

hee...hee Wee witty Cedric.......good one...

[2little2late]

A teacher says to her class,"Today I would like you all to say a sentence with centimetre in it."

Wee Angela5 puts her hand up and says,"There is 100 centimetres in a metre."

Wee DrSzin puts his hand up and says,"There are 10 millimetres in a centimetre"

Wee 2little2late puts his hand up and says,"My Gran got lost at the railway station so I was centimetre!!!!!"

Excellent. just love it.

[2little2late]

The bairns in class had to write a sentence with the word "Fascinate" in the sentence.

Angela5 wrote, My dad said "Watch this trick it will FASCINATE you"

Cuddlepop wrote, My dad said "Watch this illusion on the T.V. it will FASCINATE you".

Cedric farthsbottom III wrote, "My duffle coat has twelve buttons on it but I can only FASCINATE".

[Abdullah]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?



















A carrot

[angela5]

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, " I've got to take you in, pal. you're obviously drunk".
Our wasted freind asked "officer, are you sure i'm drunk?"
"yeah, buddy, i'm sure", said the copper, let's go.
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, i thought i was crippled".

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Drug addict runs into a pet store and says,"Give me all your money,or give me some drugs."

Pet store owner says,"I've just opened so i have no money and as for the drugs I can't give you them either because.................the parrots eat em all!!!!"

[angela5]

The bairns in class had to write a sentence with the word "Fascinate" in the sentence.

Angela5 wrote, My dad said "Watch this trick it will FASCINATE you"

Cuddlepop wrote, My dad said "Watch this illusion on the T.V. it will FASCINATE you".

Cedric farthsbottom III wrote, "My duffle coat has twelve buttons on it but I can only FASCINATE".

hee...hee..good one..

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

The bairns in class had to write a sentence with the word "Fascinate" in the sentence.

Angela5 wrote, My dad said "Watch this trick it will FASCINATE you"

Cuddlepop wrote, My dad said "Watch this illusion on the T.V. it will FASCINATE you".

Cedric farthsbottom III wrote, "My duffle coat has twelve buttons on it but I can only FASCINATE".

Hee-hheeeee!!!!good one pal!!! We're on a roll 2little2late,Angela5,Abdullah keep it going!!!!!

[2little2late]

Two sausages and two rashers of bacon in a frying pan.
One sausage says to the other
"It's hot in here isn't it?"

Then a rasher of bacon says to his mate,
"Did you hear that a talking sausage?"

Two eggs in a pan of boiling water, one says to the other,
"It's flippin hot in here"

Then the other one says,
"Wait until you get out they smash your head in".

[Abdullah]

The captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a night ashore.

As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over his uniform. Pointing to a young seaman at the head of the gangway, he shouted, 'give that man five days in the brig for spewing on his captain.'

Next morning the captain was checking the log and saw that the young seaman had been sentenced to ten days.

He asked the chief mate why. 'Well Cap'n when we got you undressed we found he'd also sh1t your underpants.'

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Two sausages and two rashers of bacon in a frying pan.
One sausage says to the other
"It's hot in here isn't it?"

Then a rasher of bacon says to his mate,
"Did you hear that a talking sausage?"

Two eggs in a pan of boiling water, one says to the other,
"It's flippin hot in here"

Hee-hee!!!!!

Then the other one says,
"Wait until you get out they smash your head in".

Hee -hee!!!!

Two boiled eggs sitting in the egg cups having a blether.

One says "I think we've started a revolution."

"Hows that",says the other one

"Cos i hear their sending the soldiers in!!!!!!!!!!"