The worst movie you've ever seen

**rich** · 10-Mar-09, 15:06

I have been awaiting with eager anticipation for Orgers to TRASH a few movies. So far it hasn't happened. So I've had to go to the Irish Times where the Watchmen got a luke-warm reception (to say the least). What I can't understand is that they gave it five stars anyway. That's the Irish for you - a hospitable race.
So let's have some brimming vitriol......

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/...242314804.html

**rich** · 10-Mar-09, 15:26

I have been visiting the Dorothy Parker websites and there is terrific stuff there.
Parker famously said of Katharine Hepburn's performance in The Lake - "Miss Hepburn ran the gamut of emotions from A to B."
To which Ms Hepburn replied "She is too generous, I never got beyond A."
We always think of Parker as a Manhattan denizen but she spent a number of years in Hollywood, writing for the movies. I enclose a web site which contains some excellent hints for apprentice screen-writers.

http://dorothyparker.com/la/index.html

**rich** · 10-Mar-09, 15:29

The worst movie I have seen is Apocalypse Now.
The worst movie I have never seen is the Sound of Music.

**Gene Hunt** · 10-Mar-09, 15:56

Tropic Thunder .. absolute rubbish apart from Tom Cruise as the movie mogul. Ben Stiller is about as funny as kick in the testicles and Jack Black is the most irritating man on the planet. The story is rubbish, its like watching paint drying, well except there is a point to paint drying.

Sex in the City .. my daughter dragged me along to watch this under the pretence of it being "Father and Daughter time", I think she secretly hates me after inflicting this rubbish on me. After thirty minutes I wanted someone to shoot me. After an hour I was ready to do it myself.

Titanic .. boat sinks at the end, Wooo .. never saw that coming. Should have had Leo and Kate fall into the harbour boarding the thing and drown. I have had more fun having a root canal and I want the two and a half hours spent watching this drivel back.

The Steve Martin Pink Panther Films .. Peter Sellers must be spinning like a top in his grave after these came out. "The Jerk" is a long way behind you now Steve. Retire .. Please.

**Anne x** · 10-Mar-09, 16:08

The Beach , American Beauty ,and Runaway Bride
dragged or persuaded to watch by my Daughter

**rich** · 10-Mar-09, 17:04

I am so deeply offended by Apocalypse Now because it suffers from LOST PLOT syndrome. The whole movie is over after 15 minutes! Yet it lingers on for another 90 minutes at which stage Marlon Brando appears and mumbles something.
How profound!
I would have had a better time watching Lassie Come Home. (Structuraly these two movies are a lot alike.)
Brando: "The horror!!!!"
Lassie: "Woof!!!!"
Where is a collie dog when you need one? I should have been shepherded out of the cinema and taken for a good long walk in the fresh air....

**Invisible** · 10-Mar-09, 17:15

Originally Posted by Gene Hunt

Tropic Thunder .. absolute rubbish apart from Tom Cruise as the movie mogul. Ben Stiller is about as funny as kick in the testicles and Jack Black is the most irritating man on the planet. The story is rubbish, its like watching paint drying, well except there is a point to paint drying.

Sex in the City .. my daughter dragged me along to watch this under the pretence of it being "Father and Daughter time", I think she secretly hates me after inflicting this rubbish on me. After thirty minutes I wanted someone to shoot me. After an hour I was ready to do it myself.

Titanic .. boat sinks at the end, Wooo .. never saw that coming. Should have had Leo and Kate fall into the harbour boarding the thing and drown. I have had more fun having a root canal and I want the two and a half hours spent watching this drivel back.

The Steve Martin Pink Panther Films .. Peter Sellers must be spinning like a top in his grave after these came out. "The Jerk" is a long way behind you now Steve. Retire .. Please.

How dare you insult Tropic Thunder!. I agree with all your other choices but am left really upset that someone rates Tropic Thunder as a "worst film". Anyway......................recently went to see The day the earth stood still with Keanu, it wasnt good.

**youoldduffer** · 10-Mar-09, 17:41

The new starwars film's The Phantom Menace Lol was asleep and snoring 10 mins into the film, Attack of the clones I could not wait for this film to be over but was with someone and couldnt get up and leave. Revenge of the sith my god you would think that Hayden Christensen acting would of progresed from the block of wood after AofC but no it got work.

Absolutely loved the originals and still like watching them, but try as i might i just dont like the new ones. Also why do they look far to advanced compaired to the earlyer film's

**percy toboggan** · 10-Mar-09, 20:15

When my wife was merely my girlfriend we walked out on 'Tell Them Willy Boy is Here' - not even the back row could make up for the rubbish on screen.

**Metalattakk** · 11-Mar-09, 03:02

The wife and I saw "Ace Ventura - Pet Detective" in Aviemore many years ago. It was just rubbish.

Another time, the wife and I along with a mate and his good lady, went on the off-chance to the cinema in Glasgow. We had the choice of "Reservoir Dogs", "Pulp Fiction" or "The River Wild".

Guess which one the ladies made us watch? And it was awful, too.

**Fluff** · 11-Mar-09, 09:18

What Lies Beneath. I actually fell asleep in the cinema, what tripe!

**mccaugm** · 11-Mar-09, 10:40

Braveheart...utter nonsensical drivel
Along came Polly....Jennifer Aniston..nuff said
Shanghai Surprise...Madonna, she can sing but she really cannot act
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan ..... don't get me started
American Pie.....for a supposed comedy it wasn't funny
High School Musical....sickly sweet, inane....why do they keep making them...arrrghhh
The Flintstones...with all the money they threw at it why was it so bad?
Out of Africa...so bad I fell asleep in the cinema.
The Truman Show....nauseating
Interview with the Vampire...made me feel sick, left the cinema and went to watch Stargate which was on downstairs.

**rich** · 11-Mar-09, 15:01

Another potent sign that you have made a serious error in going to a film is - FALSE BEARD SYNDROME.
The prime example is GETTYSBURG (currently available as a DVD).
In this movie every male character (no women in this film!) is festooned with facial shrubbery. There are some well known actors in the cast but you would never be able to spot them beneath the hair.

I can only conclude that
a) the cast is made up of space aliens who were heavily disguised in the mother ship or
b) the actors had it written in their contracts that they be unrecognizable lest their careers go down the drain.

There remains another question - did the cast spend months of hard work growing their beards or were they equipped with wigs from Central Casting?

I will not go into the narcolepsy-inducing details of the battle but it is even more conducive to hibernation than WATERLOO (hitherto my champion entry in the deep zzzzz category.)

**guitarzan** · 11-Mar-09, 16:34

please tell me someone else on here has seen "open water"?!

TERRIBLE.

**percy toboggan** · 11-Mar-09, 19:26

Originally Posted by mccaugm

Braveheart...utter nonsensical drivel
Along came Polly....Jennifer Aniston..nuff said
Shanghai Surprise...Madonna, she can sing but she really cannot act
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan ..... don't get me started
American Pie.....for a supposed comedy it wasn't funny
High School Musical....sickly sweet, inane....why do they keep making them...arrrghhh
The Flintstones...with all the money they threw at it why was it so bad?
Out of Africa...so bad I fell asleep in the cinema.
The Truman Show....nauseating
Interview with the Vampire...made me feel sick, left the cinema and went to watch Stargate which was on downstairs.

Quite how Braveheart got lumped in with that load of tripe I dunno

The first hour is classic and amongst my favourites - revenge for Murron etc. Bit like a western with more blood and kilts.

**majic** · 11-Mar-09, 19:51

we were going to buy Cloverfield but decided to rent it instead a good job it was absolute rubbish

**carzanne** · 11-Mar-09, 20:15

omg the worst film have ever watch would have to be the spirit to me it woz like a mik take to batman cross the phatom lookin kid out of the macdonalds advert lol never lettin a friend pick a film again

**ShelleyCowie** · 11-Mar-09, 20:52

Originally Posted by guitarzan

please tell me someone else on here has seen "open water"?!

TERRIBLE.

Agree completely! Pure poop!!

Also Daywatch, Devils Advocate, The last house on the left, Dreamcatcher (Only funny bit is when the guy poos himseld lol), Killbill..i really really hate it!

that is all i can think on just now!