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Thread: Meeting up with the dead

  1. #141
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    Sep 2004
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    Last night my pal and I flew down to New Zealand. We had a break for ginger biscuits over Singapore and we stopped to watch the cricket in Australia for a couple of hours. We spoke to a pig in a green field near Wellington and a fellow witch gave us refreshments in a tree house in the outskirts of Auckland. We flew back via the South Pole and Cape Town. It was altogether a refreshing and revitalising excursion.
    Last edited by crayola; 08-Dec-13 at 00:21.

  2. #142

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    Quote Originally Posted by crayola View Post
    ...... a fellow witch gave us refreshments in a tree house in the outskirts of Auckland.
    Its fortunate that you know so many folk around the place that stocks that mind bending "fine white wine" so you can get the blood levels replenished before the return journey.

  3. #143
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    Sep 2004
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    On occasion I meet up with the living. During last night I visited Lybster where I saw a well known Orger without her long black wig. She is as bald as a melon in real life. Then a visit to my home town where gleeber was boiling an egg and a chicken on a 1950s cooker to try to find out which came first. His kitchen was full of steam and his brow sweated like a freshly squeezed hot lemon. His brown cords were tied by ropes at his ankles to prevent anything escaping. He wouldn't accept that his experiments are as futile as trying to raise the dead from ancient burial brochs. On the way home I saw Phill flapping his arms impatiently at windmills. His eyes were imploring them to stop before gleeber's pots exploded with all the extra free electricity they were producing that night. The hair of the Lybster orger was already standing on end. It reached fully four feet into the sky and her feverish screams could be heard across the Ord as far away as Brora. Thank the Goddess no-one died.
    Last edited by crayola; 27-Dec-13 at 19:05.

  4. #144
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    May 2004
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    Vernon, BC, Canada
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    I enjoy nice quiet, peaceful evenings in Lerwick. But your adventures crayola keep me from being bored.

    So relieved to read that gleeber was not injured in his latest living life experiment.


  5. #145

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    Quote Originally Posted by crayola View Post
    It suddenly dawned on me that my friend had died more than 20 years ago and she was now working as a liaison officer between our world and 'the other side'.
    Would this friend, and copious quantities of the fine white wine be any help in getting in touch with departed orgers?

  6. #146
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    I don't know. I haven't seen her since that day. She wasn't one for the drink.

  7. #147

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    Has the liasion work dried up for her? If thats her job, then she would need to show face a bit more if she is going to be able to do any liaising.

  8. #148
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    I don't know. Maybe she only liaises with the nearly dead or with the faceless hooded reapers.

  9. #149
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    Early this morning an old fighter jet from the joint Finnish-Australian Air Force came through my bedroom window and half demolished the wall. The pilot smiled and apologised before reversing out and flying away never to be seen again by me. The Australians apologised and blamed the dead pilot for smoking while flying. But I knew he wasn't dead because he smiled at me. They said he mistook my street for Wick Airport but I don't see how he could have done that. The plane was carrying crates of zebras and water buffalo for the new zoo at Halkirk. It's a big zoo that stretches more than halfway to Thurso. Its plan is to be famous for its zebras, parrots and elephants.
    Last edited by crayola; 06-Jan-14 at 09:39.

  10. #150
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    Nov 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by crayola View Post
    Early this morning an old fighter jet from the joint Finnish-Australian Air Force came through my bedroom window and half demolished the wall. The pilot smiled and apologised before reversing out and flying away never to be seen again by me. The Australians apologised and blamed the dead pilot for smoking while flying. But I knew he wasn't dead because he smiled at me. They said he mistook my street for Wick Airport but I don't see how he could have done that. The plane was carrying crates of zebras and water buffalo for the new zoo at Halkirk. It's a big zoo that stretches more than halfway to Thurso. Its plan is to be famous for its zebras, parrots and elephants.
    has Rachel Scheme finished the feasibility study for this project in Halkirk?

  11. #151
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    Last night I was driving over the long bridge across the Thames when the engine on my car shut down. So did everyone else's. I couldn't start it again. There was no noise when I pressed the starter button. It was the same for everyone else. The door was locked. I couldn't open it. It was the same for everyone else. Was it a terrorist attack connected with the Olympics or an alien kidnap attempt? I escaped it by passing through to a parallel world.
    Last edited by crayola; 08-Feb-14 at 12:33.

  12. #152
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    Probably an emp pulse from Mi5 and more this likely you got dragged off by catching on to the vortex created by Dr Who's Tardis he is always whizzing around London and the Highlands :0))

  13. #153
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    There was a giant indoor shopping centre hovering about two metres above the river and approaching the bridge from the east. It shone a bright light in our direction. Could that be it?

  14. #154

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    You really shouldn't be driving after consuming that fine white wine. If they don't get you with the breathalyser, they certainly will with the old "driving whilst unfit through drink or drugs".

  15. #155
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    This morning I flew back from Switzerland without my passport. They didn't ask for it at Geneva airport and they rarely check passports at Edinburgh. I actually left it in the second last hotel I stayed in in Switzerland! It was in a drawer and the hotel staff had already found it. The room had previously been used by a man who had died swimming in an almost frozen lake. Rumour has it that the room is cursed. I will try to contact my liaison mage friend and ask her to ask the dead Swiss man to stop haunting the room. Meanwhile they have sent my passport back to me by special mail. I hope it comes before Tuesday because I'm due to go into space on Tuesday.

  16. #156

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    Quote Originally Posted by crayola View Post
    I'm due to go into space on Tuesday.
    I think you are already there dear....

  17. #157
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    Sep 2004
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    I spent last night in New York learning how to bring the dead back to life. We started with Lou Reed but he's such a tough cookie that we ended up half dead ourselves. We were chased down the coast all the way to Atlantic City by dead faceless hooded ex-rock band members with huge sickles. We eventually gave them the slip and resurfaced at breakfast in Denny's near Santa Monica. Does anyone know what time the Getty Museum opens?

  18. #158
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    I didn't go anywhere last night because the airplane tickets my son bought after we missed the flight turned out to not be real. We waited to be taken to the gate for so long that the office shut. We went outside into the streets of LA for some air. It hasn't changed since last time. It was too far to walk to the Getty museum with our luggage. No-one was dead at least. Does any know if it's permitted to take two umbrellas as hand luggage?

  19. #159
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    I was given one hundred bottles of gin for Christmas by my 47 ex brothers in law. I am still working on finding out who gave me more than two bottles. But I digress. There was an obvious storage problem because my garage and my utility room are full of instant tulip mix which I do not want to mix with gin in case they inflate too rapidly. I solved the problem by storing all one hundred bottles in the grid for seven across in last week's cryptic crossword. My best friend says I should patent my discovery and it will make me rich. I am unsure about trying to follow her advice because she died thirty years ago.

    I have spent today today wondering whether my best friend knows my liaison mage friend. They didn't know each other in this world as far as I'm aware. They died only two or three years apart which may be relevant.

    I also discovered last night that the gleaming white flag stones I previously reported on Victoria Walk can produced one million blank white squares a day for crossword puzzles. They could transform the production of crosswords and the world wide gin storage problem and together they could transform the fortunes of the Walk if they desired. Should we risk turning the rocks below the Walk to giant lobsters?

  20. #160

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    Yes, yes, oh yes!

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