Missing persons

**blowfish** · 25-Sep-08, 19:45

I am overjoyed today as I have been reunited with my missing brother who has been missing for 3 years. He set off to Glasgow 3 years ago and did not return. After several pleas to the media and posting flyers through doors etc It is good to know the hard work in trying to find him has been realised.

I was contacted this morning by Strathclyde Police who told me that he had in fact been living in an Ikea store.

The furniture store, famed for not having correct exit signs around the store, leading many to suggest it was a ploy to keep shoppers shopping, provided an apology to my brother and his wife.

I asked my brother how he had managed to survive, he said that he had been taking the leftover meatballs from the bin in the canteen.

He was discovered by staff who found several beds were continually soiled. They noticed that one area that resembled a living room had tea stains on the table and crumbs on the carpet.

My brother said to me "At last I'm free from that monstrosity of a building. I only went in for some cushion covers. It was a living nightmare, every time I saw an exit sign I went for it, only to find myself right back where I was 20 minutes earlier. When I asked someone for the exit, they pointed and just said 'thataway'. After a few days I finally gave up and settled down for a new life but it was crap, I wouldn't mind but all the TV's weren't real so I couldn't even watch Corrie."

He is now home safe and well, but I think He will be considering a lawsuit. poor guy. Just thought i'd put this out as a warning for anyone planning their next Ikea trip

**dook** · 25-Sep-08, 20:12

Man. You have to watch those Swedes. Thank heavens he managed to turnip.....

**blowfish** · 25-Sep-08, 20:14

Originally Posted by dook

Man. You have to watch those Swedes. Thank heavens he managed to turnip.....

Yes he is trying to reassemble his life again

**dook** · 25-Sep-08, 20:16

Originally Posted by blowfish

Yes he is trying to reassemble his life again

He should buy a flat, pack it all in

**canuck** · 25-Sep-08, 20:21

It brings to mind a fun song from the 60's. It was the era of protest and this was written about the building of the Boston subway.

'Let me tell you a story about a man named Charlie.
One tragic and fateful day
He kissed his wife and family and went to ride on the MTA.

But did he every return? no he never returned
And his fate is still unlearned.
He rides forever neath the streets of Boston
Charlie on the MTA.'

**dook** · 25-Sep-08, 20:41

Originally Posted by canuck

It brings to mind a fun song from the 60's. It was the era of protest and this was written about the building of the Boston subway.

'Let me tell you a story about a man named Charlie.
One tragic and fateful day
He kissed his wife and family and went to ride on the MTA.

But did he every return? no he never returned
And his fate is still unlearned.
He rides forever neath the streets of Boston
Charlie on the MTA.'

Bit like

Blowfish's brother went to Ikea for the day
A wanderin around the store he went
3 years to the day a'fore he was found
What a jockey
Oh what a jockey...