Every little helps?

**armanisgirl** · 18-Jun-08, 16:47

One of my friends is having a terrible time trying to get a full refund for a fauly item, bought from Tesco Direct. Quite a long saga, which I won't bore you with, but she found the Customer Services supervisor very unhelpful and rude, and so is complaining to head office about the whole matter. She then went on the internet to try to find Tesco H.O details, and came across this on a forum:

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in oxford
Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... And watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. (YUK!)

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager
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I couldn't help but laugh at this man's antics - haven't a clue why he was doing this, other than to wind up Tesco due to an unresolved complaint of some kind, but what a way to wind them up!! I believe this has 'done the rounds' previously, but thought for those who haven't seen it, you may get some giggles from it as I did!

As I said to my friend - you should have quoted Tesco's motto back to the supervisor you spoke to, but added a wee bit on - "Every little helps..................because you help very little!"

**jings00** · 18-Jun-08, 19:01

i thought tesco direct was absolutely useless as well, and even though i had contacted them to advise of the problem, i may as well have spoken to the wall.

**joxville** · 18-Jun-08, 19:04

Sometimes you have to do it.

One time I was shopping with an ex and she was looking for a feeding bowl for her new kitten. She picked one off the shelf and asked me if I thought it was a bit too big, so I took it from her, sat it on the floor then lay down next to it and began to miaow. The look of my ex and other shopper's was priceless.

**Julia** · 18-Jun-08, 19:06

Hilarious, wonder if it's genuine

**dirdyweeker** · 18-Jun-08, 19:09

Doubt it. I received this in an email a couple of months ago. If it is something that did happen,then I wish I lived near that store. What a hoot it would be!